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(As inspired by today’s writing prompt at [Link Removed])

When Scott and I lived in St. Thomas (yes, the Virgin Islands. Jealous much?), we were regular weekend features at Iggie’s Beach Bar. Conveniently located at the bottom of the cliff we lived on, it was walking distance from home; it also served the best portobello mushroom fries on the planet and had karaoke every Saturday night. They don’t call it paradise for nothing, folks!

Typically, I got my fill of tropical rum drinks during the week (that’s a whole ‘nother blog!), but my weekends were reserved for long neck bottles of beer, usually of the Coors Light variety. Our waitresses were trained to keep the buckets coming. We‘re from Texas, see, where beer has the highest allowable alcohol content in the nation. Many a night we were amused by the stunned faces of the other patrons to see the number of buckets of beer Scott and I could put away and still sing our asses off on stage. And then walk home after!

One night, however, I startled both the waitress and my husband by shaking things up. I had noticed a sign change on the wall across from our regular table (stop judging me) and was intrigued. Cruzan Rum, a favorite in the islands, was advertising their new Voodoo Juice—a scrumptious-sounding concoction of 4 flavored rums, dark rum and (a minuscule amount, I’m sure) fruit juices. It was all served up in a really kicky plastic pail with spears of fruit chunks and little parasols. I wanted one, and would not be satisfied until I had it.

It was so freakin’ good! In another setting, at another time, I never would have believed there was even any alcohol in it. That, my friends, is the evil design. I was amused by the pail and its adornments and sipped it with abandon. I wasn’t even bothered by the $12 price tag!

It just so happened that this particular night wasn’t just any old karaoke, but a karaoke contest hosted by VI’s own Pirate Radio!! Fueled by my liquid courage, I got up and sang my heart out. My first song choice that evening was Tricia Yearwood’s “That’s What I Like About You“. Naturally I rocked the house (countried the house just doesn’t sound right) and returned to my seat, convinced I’d won the contest.

Scott sang brilliantly and others sang so-so, but I was not to be swayed in my confidence. So confident was I, in fact, that when the waitress came by and asked if Scott would like another beer, I butted in and ordered another bucket of bolstering. “Um, really?” was the waitresses response... or so I’ve been told. Scott looked at me and said “Honey, are you sure?“. Well of course I was sure! I know the difference between sure and not sure.

Yeah.

Right.

The remainder of the night only returns to me in oily flashbacks whenever I see a rum bottle. As told to me later (much, much later), I got up on stage one more time. Before the music started, I even made an announcement:

“A shong sho nice, I’m shingin’ it twishce.”

And I did. A memorable rendition of the same song, that would probably get me kicked out of Tricia Yearwood’s fan club. (Ms. Yearwood, I hope you understand it was the rum. I’m very, VERY sorry. And please tell Garth I said hi!)

Needless to say, I didn’t win.

How Scott managed to get me back up the hill I’ll never really know. He said I stayed funny right up until the point the puking began, and then we both lost all humor. It didn’t help that by the time I woke the next afternoon I was absolutely miserable with pain and a mango aftertaste that I just couldn’t shake.

And the capper? Both of my hard-earned plastic pails were left sitting on the table at Iggie’s. All things considered, I nearly cried when I realized this. I really wanted to blame Scott, but I’m just not that cruel. It’s not like he didn’t already have his hands full!

The moral of the story? Rum is the devil’s swill and to be avoided at all costs.


Feathermaye, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • For some reason, my picture didn’t save. Trying again here:



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! OMG!! Hilarious!
      I can just imagine you up there singing your heart out..... Drunkenly. I must visit that bar one day, Iggy (my spelling) is my husbands nickname for me.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • Inakika:  Iggy AND Mommy?  I think it’s time to blow up your driver’s license (or birth certificate) and put it on the wall!!!  LOL

      Feathermaye:  I have similar “oily” memories from an afternoon bowling event filled with Alabama Slammers.  I think the final number of drinks was 8.  The very next day, the bowling alley burned to the ground.  I told my husband, “Whew...i won’t be the talk of THAT place anymore!”



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • Daphne!! LOL!! OKAY! Too funny.....:)And it all started out as just plain old Ingrid!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • FEATHERMAYE!!!! Me Gal!
      From one former V.I. resident to another...What were you thinking!? The Cruzan Rum will get you everytime...meh son!
      Though I gotta say I never tried the Voodoo Juice I did do the Karaoke thing...too much fun.
      OMG! You lived over Iggies! I lived in Frenchmans Bay! Your story brings back so many memories...some are quite fuzzy but memories all the same.
      I miss it so much and can’t wait to get back. How long did you live there?
      Hey no wonder you look so familiar.....hmmmmm, what night was
      that Voodoo that you do so well...lol



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • inakika/mommy/iggy: If you’d been there, you’d be even more convinced of the hilarity, I’m sure!

      daphne: At least I didn’t send the place up in flames! geeesh!! ;)

      almostfive0: We lived on Regatta Point! We were there for about 18 months from 2003 to 2004. I was contracted to the Territorial Courts, bringing them into the computer age. I was not popular. lol!

      I checked Iggie’s website before posting this, to make sure there weren’t any photos of me there, lol.

      I miss it a bunch too, but wouldn’t want to live there again unless I’m retired and don’t have to work. It’s depressing having to put on pantyhose and makeup when everyone else is putting on bathing suits. :(



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • You definitely don’t want to have to don pantyhose and suit gear living there. We were there for nine years. I plan on moving back at some point.
      I’m sure you were not popular if you were trying to impliment change there,... especially at Territorial Court...lol! I love them but Virgin Islanders are not easy sometimes.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • Okay, I think we need to plan that V.I trip, yeah? I would have too much fun with you ladies! And a trip to Iggies would be a must! Only 1 Voodoo Juice per person, please! :) Or maybe we should all just share one!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • It’s so beautiful there. Although, I did my best snorkeling on St. John. Just a ferry ride away!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • You know I’m game inakika!...Maybe I’ll introduce you to the Bushwaker while we‘re there?
      feathermaye were you ever bushwacked?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • St. John is heaven...if you are a snorkeler you can’t go wrong with any of the beaches on St. John.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • I asked my husband if we were bushwacked, and he’s not sure either.

      Is that what they did to me at Duffy’s Love Shack? :O)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • HAHAHA!!! I don’t know...they could have done anything to you at Duffy’s...LOL! Who knows!

      The bushwaker is a frozen drink made with Bailey’s and about 7-8 other different kinds of alcohols in it. The thing about it is that it taste like a shake so you have to be careful drinking it. You don’t feel it until you get up. It tastes really good.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • Oh, then I’m sure I was bushwacked more than once, which is why I have no memory of it at all.  LOL!!

      Awww... now I really want to go back there.  I’ll root through my pics tonight and see what I have. I’ve posted a few in my albums here, of when we would go feed the fish at Coki Beach. That was so cool!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Oct 7, 2008
    • I’ll try to find some as well...I’ve moved so much I’ll have to do some searching.



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