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tongue out

Well, I did it!!!!

  I woke up one morning last week, went off on everyone, and went and rented my own apartment.

  Merry Christmas to me, or so I thought. Now I’m thinking to myself,“What the hell am I supposed to do now?” and in between the crying and the feelings of being overwhelmed, I’m totally petrified.
Need my girls, talk me through it. I feel like I’m going completely crazy!!!

Shelly




Member Comments

    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Dec 27, 2009
    • Sounds like you are going through some hard times, made a snap decision, can you go back and work things out?



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Tuliplady wrote Dec 27, 2009
    • Being scared is totally ok. Any big change in life is scary.  Just make sure this is what you really want to do.  Give yourself a bit of time to calm down.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Karyn Olson wrote Dec 27, 2009
    • Sometimes we make hasty decisions then realize later that perhaps we may have made a mistake...but no use fretting over it...what’s done is done and for everything there is a reason...just think about it this way...new year...new beginnings...new adventures...make the best of it.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Dec 27, 2009
    • Hi Shelly,  

      My husband of 16 years decided he wants a divorce on Dec 2nd. I Know this is scary for you, I’ve been scared to tears too. Maybe this is good timing and not a mistake you’ve made? Surround yourself with any friends and family that will support your decision even
      if they don’t “get it“. And Karyn is right, it’s new adventures, new beginnings ahead. I got myself the violin I’ve wanted for more than a year. I can’t move because of my wolf dog, but a new apartment would be an awesome beginning.  

      So tell us about your apartment, please. Is it located in a area you like, what’s it fascinating
      attributes and appeal? Have you hung pictures and bought a few new throw pillows to enjpy your new freedom space? Have you explored your new neighborhood?  I want to hear all about it. ;oD  

      Hugs,
      Cathie



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Betspussl wrote Dec 27, 2009
    • I THINK YOUR BRAVE,I HAVE OFTEN THOUGHT ABOUT PACKING MY BAGS AND LEAVING BUT THE BIG CHANGE DOES SCARE ME,MY HUSBAND AND I ARE SEPERATING TO,AND HE HAS CHOSE TO MOVE.IM JUST TRYING TO STAY FOCUSED ON WHAT I CAN DO TO BE HAPPY.SOMETIMES I GUESS YOU HAVE TO LET GO AND MOVE ON.I HOPE THINGS WORK OUT FOR YOU.A NEW YEAR,A NEW BEGINNING! GOOD LUCK



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Venus 7000 wrote Dec 27, 2009
    • Hi Shelly,

      I am sorry that you are going through this.  It sounds like you made a snap decision which may or may not be in your best interest at the moment.    

      You should call your husband (and sons) tell them that you are fine but you are going through a rough period and that you need some time alone to figure things out.  

      Your family needs you.  But before you can be there for them you must figure out what your needs and expectations are and balance this off with the circumstances that now exist in your household.  What are the things that are driving you crazy?  How can your husband and sons help to mitigate these so that they don’t get on your nerve?  They cannot read your mind, so you will have to tell them.  Write them down and paste it on the refrigerator if necessary (Saw my sister do this with her kids,  I thought it strange, but it worked for her happy).  

      If you can, please try to get some counseling to help you sort through your feelings and to put things in perspective.   I believe an effort should be made to mend your family.  If that does not work then yes, you have other options.   In the meantime, enjoy the solitude of your new space and try to achieve some calm and inner peace.   Good luck.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Samib wrote Dec 28, 2009
    • Hi Shelly—don’t let the fear make you lose sight of what you need and want.  I hope the best for you.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Dec 29, 2009
    • I’m with Samib, Shelly. I know this is rough, especially this time of year, but think why you did it in the first place. This could be a really good decision on your part. If you need me I
      am here for you.  

      Cathie



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Dec 29, 2009
    • Honey – reading your blogs – you've turned 40 – which is fabulous – you have been having issues with hubby and son's so now you've snapped – it's okay – first you have us and second it's a big adventure and you'll soon be enjoying it .......... stay strong honey



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Dec 29, 2009
    • I believe change scares us all at some point. Good luck with your dicision.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Shelly Michalk-Schumacher wrote Dec 30, 2009
    • Yes, kinda. I just wanted to stop feeling this way. Since I’ve been in apartment, I have been sleeping better. I can breathe, and for the most part, I’m just a little scared.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Shelly Michalk-Schumacher wrote Dec 30, 2009
    • I don’t know that I want to work things out. To tell you the truth, I really do not know what I want.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Shelly Michalk-Schumacher wrote Dec 30, 2009
    • Thank You. I really appreciate you taking the time to talk me thru this. And your right, I will take the time to enjoy the quite



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Shelly Michalk-Schumacher wrote Dec 30, 2009
    • Awe, Cathy, I’m so sorry for what your going thru too and thanks for being here for me. My apartment, SUCKS!!!! but it’s mine. I haven’t been able to get all my stuff yet but I’m working on it and I have 5 days off so that will be my project.
      A new life, new career, new home..... I can do this!!!!
      Thanks Everyone for your help!!!!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Shelly Michalk-Schumacher wrote Dec 30, 2009
    • Thanks for reading and responding, I need some friends and I’ve found them.  

      Thank You



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Shelly Michalk-Schumacher wrote Dec 30, 2009
    • Man, I wish we all lived near each other, A Girl’s Night Out would be AWESOME!!!!!!
      Thanks for the feedback!!!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Shelly Michalk-Schumacher wrote Dec 30, 2009
    • Sorry for what your going thru as well. It wasn’t the moving that scared me, it was giving him up that scares me. I thought this was the one, and again, I was wrong!!!That’s the thing that bothers me the most!!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Dec 30, 2009
    • Hi Shelly,  

      There’s things that you can do to your apartment to make it your cozy nest.  Just look at it and picture what you want and surround yourself with it. I feel for you because I definitely was scared, and I had thought he was “the one“. I don’t think I made a bad choice, I think that what he wanted changed and I didn’t fit into it. I still love him, but from a distance to
      take care of myself. Getting to that distance means having a clear sense of self and worth.

      A girls night out would be fabulous! Toasting each other and reveling in our new course in life, laughing together, clinking our glasses together, it would be great fun! ;oD  

      Ain’t nothing wrong with being single! Cheers to that!  

      Cathie



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Owlmaria wrote Dec 30, 2009
    • Shelly, I can’t add anything to what they others have already said but a long time ago I wished I could have done what you did, for whatever reason. The girls are right again, we’ll be here in spirit and sorry we can’t be there in person but our ears are as big as our shoulders and there are plenty to go around. Talk to us / me anytime you need/ want.  Maria



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