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It is a beautiful day, perfect for golf and you are walking along, playing a fairly good round.  You start out a little tight but once you have a couple of shots under your belt, your natural rhythm kicks in and the game gets easier.  You relax and your performance improves.

You make your way along the course and for the most part, you play right down the middle working steadily toward the goal.  Creating a score that meets your expectations feels wonderful.  Seeing your talent and potential steadily improving is a heady feeling and your confidence is soaring.

Then, seemingly out of the blue, you take your normal shot and off the ball goes...dead right! A shank!  Where did that come from?  The shot felt completely normal and yet now you are completely off track.  As you track down the errant ball, you are now way off track and sometimes embarrassed, lost and confused.

Not only that, but when you take your next shot....you are more than slightly fearful that the dreaded shank will happen again so you tighten up.  Your natural rhythm disappears and you start trying to figure out what happened and praying that it doesn't happen again.  Waves of self doubt, self criticism and even self pity wash over you as you now play worried about what will happen next.

You finish the round, bruised once again by the fickle golf gods and hit the range to work out the kinks.  The trouble is that the natural rhythm and relaxation that feeds your best days is impossible to find when your mind is filled with doubt and fear.

How about in your relationships?  Could the shank phenomena repeat itself?  Let's see...

You are cruising along in your relationship, and things are going fairly well.  When you first met,  you were a little nervous and careful with one another but once you have a couple of dates under your belt, your natural rhythm kicks in, you relax and begin to enjoy one another and the game gets easier.

You make your way along the course and for the most part, you are both on the same path walking down the middle toward your mutual relationship goals.  Creating a connection that meets your expectations feels wonderful. Seeing the potential steadily developing is a heady feeling and your confidence with your partner is soaring.

Then, seemingly out of the blue, you act like you always do and the unexpected happens. You are suddenly off track with no warning. Something you said or did was completely misunderstood or misinterpreted.  Where did that come from?  Everything felt completely normal and yet now you are completely off course.  As you try to figure out exactly what went wrong,  you find yourself  way off track and sometimes lost and confused.

Not only that, but when you talk next time....you are more than slightly fearful that the misunderstanding will happen again so you tighten up.  Your natural rhythm disappears and you start trying to figure out what happened and praying that it doesn't happen again.  Waves of self doubt, self criticism and even self pity wash over you as you now play with concern about your results.

You finish the day, bruised once again by the fickle love gods and make a plan to work out the kinks.  The trouble is that the natural rhythm and relaxation that feeds your best days is impossible to find when your mind is filled with doubt and fear.

Relationship drama and shanks are remarkably similar. Your THOUGHTS about each are what create the INNER TENSION that steals your natural ability to go with the flow and GET OVER IT.  You are always going to have mis-hits and you are ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE DRAMA IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.  The difference between the winners and the losers is HOW YOU DEAL WITH YOUR THOUGHTS during the time when you are off course.

Next time you shank....think about it!  Your golf AND love life will surely improve as you choose to find your natural rhythm and remind yourself that even though you have gotten off course, you can get yourself right back on target.  Don't try to figure out HOW you got off course...just determine to get centered again and find that fairway!!



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