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In a recent survey concerning the effect that midlife issues and a depressed economy are having on relationships,
78 women shared their most important, yet unspoken, questions and comments to their husbands.  

She Speaks To Inspire has invited a man  to join us on Tuesday to respond to the questions and comments from the survey. The man's name is Paul Crawford.  

Paul is not a marriage/relationship counselor nor is he a doctor. He is a man. And he promises to share insider secrets about how a man really thinks on Tuesday. August 18th 7:00 PM Texas time.  Whether you‘re married or single- now is your chance to get the answer to your unspoken question.

Here are some of the survey responses. You are welcome to add your question/comment here and ask them live and from the chat room on Tuesday.  

I want to be loved... not just a little, but completely, unconditionally. I want to be honored, revered, respected and appreciated.  

I want to know that you are proud of me. I want to know that you are glad you are married to me even when you see your buddy at the track with his newest trophy woman on his arm.

I want you to tell me that you love me and mean it. Look into my eyes and tell me I am beautiful. And then take out the trash.

I don’t want to learn to golf.  I want to spend time with you and enjoy your company but I don’t want to golf! You join me at my scrap booking group.  Then we’ll talk about golf.

Please stop lying to me. Everyone knows you lie to me. I know you lie to me.  Who do you think you‘re fooling? Why do you lie when there is no reason?

I don’t want to be your mother or your maid. I don’t think I want to be your wife anymore, either.  That woman you’ve been flirting with online?  Can she be your new wife?  I want to be in her position for awhile.

I need you to listen, I need you to be there, I need you to be my confidant.  I do not need you to fix anything for me.  Do you want me to pretend that I do?

It frightens me that we chose each other in our twenties. I am not the same girl as I was then. Have you noticed?  

I want to be first in your life. I want you to prioritize me over being a nice guy and helping your buddy replace his bathroom sink. Why would you go there and do what I need you to do here?

Deep down I fear that my aging, changing body is no longer attractive to you-so I hide it. I miss the days when I was proud of my body. My confidence showed in our sex life. I’m not proud of my body anymore and it shows in our sex life now. I need to know that I can trust you with this.

I want a deep connection. You want to watch TV. I have no hope left.

I know losing your job is the worst thing you’ve ever experienced.  I want to talk to you about it but you won’t open up. So we remain silent.

I want intimacy: not just sexual intimacy, but real intimacy. Do you have some new dreams that I don’t know about?
I’ll tell you mine if you’ll tell me yours!

I was wondering, why is it that my husband does not read my blog? He says he has looked at it a few times, and admittedly, not all the time. Why isn't my writing something he wants to read?

My husband ignores me. Quite literally, ignores me. It isn't because I'm not speaking loud enough, he is just tuned out.  

Why can’t you see how much your pornography hurts me? I am not a circus act!  How am I to compete with that?

I’m single, attractive and smart. I have a strong character and dreams for the future but no prospects for a husband.  I have had plenty of dates from dating sites, the family introductions, the friend introductions- but no match. Where do I find a 40+ year old single male who is interested in me?

See you Tuesday!!  

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Laurie Zieber wrote Aug 16, 2009
    • Paul Crawford is a professional speaker, Holistic Life Coach and Fitness Trainer/Coach. He says, “I am passionate about helping others to find and enjoy the happiness and fun in life. With compassion and lots of humor I love to inspire people to be their best. Mind-Body-Soul.”



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Aug 16, 2009
    • Powerful as every Miss Laurie Z looking forward to hearing him ........



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Laurie Zieber wrote Aug 16, 2009
    • I am too!  Bless his heart...  happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michael Madden DC wrote Aug 16, 2009
    • Don’t ask for unconditional love. The only ones that get that are our children. Being deeply, soulfully loved is what everyone deserves. But we all have responsibilities to the significant person in our life. We will love our children no matter what they do but we shouldn’t love our mate if they don’t treat us the way we deserve to be treated.  

      Men are way less worried about physical appearances than women are. Women are much more critical of themselves and each other than men are. Sure, there’s the idiot here and there with a trophy wife but the majority of men love their women because they are who they are not what they look like.

      Some men are evolved enough to want their woman to be their best friend, others would rather hang with the boys more and more. You may not get that unless you ask them why. Always ask what you don’t understand. Just be careful not to frame it in anything that sounds like an accusation, confrontation or complaint. Not easy but it can be done.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Laurie Zieber wrote Aug 16, 2009
    • Dr. Madden I presume?? estatic  

      Thanks for adding your insight! It would be a conservative estimate to say that 60% of the 78 responses mentioned the need for unconditional love from their husbands.  Do you think the term needs to be better defined or do you think the expectation truly is the same love as the love we have for our children?

      Doctor, how can I persuade you to be our guest at She Speaks To Inspire?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michael Madden DC wrote Aug 16, 2009
    • It’s sad to me that so many people want unconditional love because the truth is they‘re just not going to get it. If you have unconditional love, you don’t have to work at it any more, you don’t have to do all the little things that can keep relationships going through the bad times. I wouldn’t completely respect someone that loved me no matter what I did or said. I don’t mean the kind of “I love you as a person“, I mean being IN love.  

      If you are fully loved and appreciated, you shouldn’t care if you‘re unconditionally loved. The best thing for a relationship is getting away by yourselves with no other people or interruptions. Get back to where you started. It doesn’t have to be in Tahiti, although that would help. It can be 24 hours in a cabin 5 miles outside of town.

      Don’t get upset if he doesn’t immediately slide over to where you are emotionally. One step at a time. Get back to being friends first.  

      And I would be very happy to be your guest.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Aug 16, 2009
    • Dr. M, I like your take!  

      Laurie, good question!  

      Dr. M, just say yes! estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Aug 16, 2009
    • I guess it does say a lot about a man who can look past a woman’s changes and insecurities as we age..I applaud the men who do stay with their wives (mine included) through thick and thin and yes, Dr. Madden, getting away from the home and responsibilites even for an over-night can bring so much back to a relationship..think I will go down to the family room and give my hub a hug!happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Aug 16, 2009
    • My relationship failures have taught me that I don’t belong in one. I’m working on being okay with that, each day it gets easier....having said that, I will still plan on tuning in...and look forward to learning something. estaticestatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Laurie Zieber wrote Aug 16, 2009
    • And for that, I sincerely thank you my friend. :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michael Madden DC wrote Aug 17, 2009
    • RE: Your husband not reading your blog- That happens to both sexes. I haven’t quite figured out why someone who supposedly loves and respects you and what you do, doesn’t read it. I had the same thing happen in my life. I think it’s more likely to happen from someone who doesn’t write. They don’t realize how important feedback and general responses are to a writer. You have to tell them that it’s very important to you and then, heres the hard part, you have to smile when they actually do give you feedback that’s maybe not what you wanted to hear. If you get upset, pout or get defensive, they‘re never going to read it again.
      RE: Men and TV- Pick a show of his that’s one of his favorites. Ask him (not when the show is on though) to explain or describe it to you. He may hesitate because when he actually verbalizes out loud what it is, even he may think it sounds stupid. But try to see something positive about it and then after you catch up, watch it with him. Try it at least once or twice.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Aug 18, 2009
    • Very interesting! I am looking forwards to Tues BTR 7pm Texas time.

      BTW Paul Crawford is on FB and is friend to some fab40 peeps.

      Dr M I look forward to you being on SSTI with Laurie and thx for sharing.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Aug 18, 2009
    • Looking forward to tonights show ......



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Nara Blueeyes wrote Aug 18, 2009
    • I have discovered that if I want unconditional love, I’ll go out and get a dog or a cat.  People don’t give unconditional love.  It’s just not in our genes.



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