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Two weeks ago, I received an email from an old boyfriend. Now when I say OLD, I mean like from 25 years ago.  He said he read an article where I was quoted so he did a little research and found out it was me.  He took the liberty to contact me to say hello and how proud he was of all of my accomplishments.

Now, before I continue the rest of this story, I want to first ask:  Would you have responded to his email and why or why not?

to be continued........



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • Beverly,

      I would have answered it. I have talked to an old boyfriend through classmates. We have shared pictures of our children and family.We really don’t talk about the past it is more of the present.

      So, finish the story. I have not been on this weekend and this is the first post I read. I always love your stories...

      Would love to know how it turned out for you!!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linni wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • I too would have answered it! 25 years is a long time, and its great to find out about thier family and how life has been to them, and then sharing your family and such with them..

      Now, in the same breath i want to say that if we broke up on bad terms, or there was any kind of abuse, i would probably hesitate to answer...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • Sure! There’s no harm in that.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • Beverly,

      Patience is NOT my virtue....

      Come on girl...



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • You‘re keeping us on pins and needles!  

      I, too, received a message from Classmates from a guy I knew in Junior High. He and I have e-mailed a few times and he even had a good laugh with his wife about dancing with me in 7th grade, his first dance ever! No harm. Fun to share stories with people from our past. It’s our history.

      So..........Your turn



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Beverly Mahone wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • OK..OK...so I did respond.  He asked me if I remembered him.  Of course I did!  We had some wild times together—He was the boyfriend I was cheating with while also dating my  soon-to-be husband.  

      He told me he was married and living in NJ and has an 18 yr old daughter (same as mine).  He said he just wanted to say hello and to let me know he bought my book.

      I wrote him back and thanked him for writing me and updated him on what has been happening in my life in 25 years. I then asked him about another couple we used to hang out with and how his parents were doing—because I really liked his mom.  I think his dad really liked me :)  

      He wrote me back—and said he was curious if I had written about him in my book.  I wrote him back AGAIN and said “No” but the latest string of emails could show up in a future book.

      He wrote again with some old “trip down memory lane stories“.

      So now, do I write him back and should I have told my husband about this correspondence?

      to be continued......



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Peejay64 wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • Wow....this is interesting.  Who would‘nt (honestly, girls) like to hear from a long, lost love?  Even if it’s just an old high-school flame?  But especially if “wild times” were had?!  

      I’ve often wondered what I would do given a similar situation.  I guess I would be flattered, maybe a little excited to hear from him and maybe even intrigued.....

      BUT...I would be careful about how much is shared and how often the communications occur.  AND I would definitely be open, honest, and forthcoming with my husband.  Why leave room for temptation, doubt, suspicion?  

      Relationships, no matter how solid they seem, can be fragile, especially when compromised with the involvement of a previous love-interest.  While part of me envies the scenario, I would also caution you to be very aware of how often you communicate with this “gentleman“, how much you share, and what might really be the motivators behind his communications with you.  I don’t mean to be the “buzz-kill“, just encouraging you to preserve your relationship with your husband.  happy

      Peace,
      Patti



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • Is your husband the jealous type? mine tends to be. But, I told him about the coorespondance between me and the old classmate. My old classmate even told his wife I was his first love. I didn’t know I was his first love. We never dated. But, apparently, he had a crush on me all through high school. Who knew?

      My motto is, if you were typing a message to him and your husband came in and looked over your shoulder, would he be disturbed by it?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • I would respond on a professional level only.  If it got off course, then tell him that you have moved on and the past is the past... Leave him in the Dust girl... Your way ... beyond him now.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Beverly Mahone wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • Chocolatier,

      I did tell my husband about the correspondance and he didn’t think much of it—that’s because he knows me and he’s confident in who HE is in our relationship.  

      If my husband came in and saw me typing a message to him would he be disturbed?  That’s a good question.  I mean we‘re not flirting or anything but there have been some innuendos about the wild and crazy times we had.  He remebered our first date—I had forgotten.  He remembered where we met and was reminding of the reasons why he was attracted to me in the first place.

      He’s also happily married and says he only plans to do it ONCE so he’d better get it right.  They’ve been married 20 years so he must be working pretty hard.

      I agree.  It is nice to reminisce about the past.  He was a decent young man—and I have to admit I’m flattered that he went to so much trouble to look me up and get in touch.  He’s even been reading my blogs and listening to my shows on BlogTalk radio.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Beverly Mahone wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • He was no slouch in the bedroom either :)



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mz. Queen wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • I think it’s hilarious that you forgot the first date but you remember the sheets!! luv ya



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Beverly Mahone wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • teeky3,

      LOL!!!!!  Sad thing about this is—it was just a FLING—at least on my part.  I had no intention of giving up my fiancee for him.  Maybe I should have because my marriage turned out to be a bust.

      He was just a nice guy—who did nice things for me and made me feel special when my fiancee was off doing WHATEVER!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Michelle Rowe wrote Nov 24, 2008
    • I would definitely respond to him to catch up, see how he’s doing, etc.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Beverly Mahone wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • Someone said they thought it was hilarious that I forgot the first date but remebered the sex.  Well, I guess it’s because I never took the relationship that seriously.  Had I been thinking of him as a marriage prospect, I’m sure I would’ve remembered every single detail of our lives together.

      He was a fun fling that lasted several months but when it was over—it was OVER.

      Ladies, why is it that when women are non-chalant about relationships, we‘re viewed differently?  Men do it all the time.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Nov 25, 2008
    • I don’t think there should be any difference made between the two..what we feel is what we feel.
      that’s like I never could understand it when someone wants to call a woman a whore for having many lovers but when it’s a man it’s somehow a different story...he is seen as a lady’s man, a player, a man.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Almostfive0 wrote Nov 26, 2008
    • Right bfly...Go figure.
      Your mother was right.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Squidgee wrote Jun 22, 2009
    • Okay, I'm reading the posts on email from an old boyfriend; and I can top 25 years. How 'bout 46 years !!!ohhhh
      No kidding! I'm 61; been married for 38 years!

      This guy was 19 and I was 15. My mom who normally had a tight reign on me, for some reason (he was from church), let me date him. He talked me into getting blood tests for a marriage license. And when the papers were found, everything hit the fan with both our families.

      He joined the Navy; wrote me a box of letters. The letters stopped, and I received a note from his mom asking me to send HER his classring...and saying she hoped he had written me of his plans to be married.  

      We got in email contact with each other a little over a week ago through a mutual friend. I’m old and fat and never, ever thought I would have these feelings of excitement again! Our emails flirt; and we have spoken on the phone twice. Thank God - we live totally across the country from each other! Neither of us can afford the risks we are taking! It’s totally crazy. The comments here are so true. And I am trying to get a grip on myself before my whole life ends up down the drain!

      Thanks for the opportunity to vent!



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