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"I'm an insomniac lately. It's one of the many prizes you find in he Cracker Jack box of a crumbling marriage." ~ Meredith from a Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah  

When I am asked to tell a little about myself, I struggle with what to say that isn't boring or whiny. So I decided to write it down in the form of a story.

Once upon a time...
... There was a very special girl who looked high and low for her Prince Charming. She met the perfect boy to be the "one" when she was just a young girl but lost him to the social measures of the time.

Thirty years later after each had a lifetime or two to have traveled, the girl, now a mature woman found her Prince Charming again. Life was perfect and she just knew the fairytale was going to have the perfect ending. But with every fairytale there is a catch, a tragedy, and a dragon to slay. In this one there was a dragon - addiction.  

Alcohol and prescription drug abuse was the slayer of this match made in heaven. Even the angels could not strike down this dragon at its very heart and save the ending from being another tragedy in the history of these two lovers. The Prince was completely enslaved to the disease and no matter how hard the new princess tried to battle this monster – the monster ultimately won. There are really no survivors to the war against addiction. Shrapnel is left lying around and this dragon takes no prisoners.

The princess had no choice but to leave her fairytale life and abandon all hope of a solution to this situation. For if the prince will not help himself then no one can help him.

This is when she finally evolved into the woman she was meant to be. With counseling and mentoring she discovered the tools that would allow her to stand up for herself and become with confident the woman she is. She decided not to wear the problems of her prince on her shoulders as if they were of her making, not to believe less of herself, to be grateful for the opportunity to experience this challenge and learn from it the boundaries she had to create and abide by when it came to forming new relationships – especially with herself. She has also learned the valuable cornerstone to the foundation of restoring her self-love, forgiveness.

This woman today, forgives not only herself for not being able to "fix" the prince, but also forgives him all the abuse she endured because she now realizes that he was just as much a victim of this terrible disease as she was. His actions and decisions were not of his own volition; the disease had him firmly in her grasp. Addiction was and is a mistress that no one can battle no matter how much self-confidence is apparent.

With forgiveness, though, does not come absolution? The prince harmed the woman and he is responsible to make amends for his actions but with this dragon holding on tight to his being he doesn't always have control of his senses. In the end, those issues totally belong to the prince. He has become a frog to the woman now. He can continue to lie on his lily pad and aimlessly abuse himself with his addictions. She on the other hand has moved on and is only responsible for her actions, choices, words and thoughts.

The war is not over though as now with divorce crashing all around her, she feels at times her life is too hard to endure. She works tirelessly with the tools she has learned to hold on to the present. She places the past where it belongs grateful for all the challenges and lessons she has encountered. She continues on her journey holding her head up high, spine straight, shoulders wide with the grace of a woman accepting and embracing her destiny.

There are still a few chinks in her armor but everyday she rises and polishes her brilliance. She reflects who she is in everything she does and celebrates all her successes with enthusiasm and humor. She now hopes she can help other would-be princesses when their prince turns back into a frog and her tiara looses its luster to pick themselves up after the fight, brush off the dirt and walk firmly forward with pride and respect in tact.

In the end, all princesses only need to ride off in the sunset with themselves as the rescuer.  Belief in themselves and their Source is all they need to be complete. That is the "happy ending" that I hope all other women realize in the story of their lives.


PS - it really is just the beginning...

Enjoy life and breathe in every moment.

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Member Comments

    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mysticalpatterns wrote Apr 11, 2011
    • I truly love your poetic description of a not so poetic situation.

      First of all I wanted to commend you on getting out of a tough situation.  It is not an easy thing to do!  In doing so you have taken the first step to loving yourself which is the most important thing.

      You’ve got this!!!  Life does not always turn out as we think it will, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t just as it should be.  

      Just know that there is a lot of support here on this site from women who have been through what you are going through & from those who have helped others like yourself.

      Love, Light & Blessings to you!heart

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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Tamara_el wrote Apr 11, 2011
    • Thank you so much for your supporting words, Mysticalpatterns. I hope my experiences help others to know that rainbows do exist, we just have to learn to love to dance in the rain first.

      Have wonderful week. Your positive, loving energy exudes from your message.


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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Allinet48 wrote Apr 12, 2011
    • Enlightening.heart

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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      LaTosha Brown wrote Apr 12, 2011
    • Greetings Princess Tamara,

      This is GREAT!heartheartheart

      Your story was WONDERFUL! It was so creative and well written.  It takes a lot of courage to share your personal story.  I want to encourage you to continue to embrace your journey.  You are on your way to Queendom.  You will come into your own understanding of your royal roots that God has blessed you with.

      When it is time, you will meet your King somewhere out there that you will help you jointly build your kingdom of peace, love, joy and happiness.  

      Keep writing!


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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Apr 12, 2011
    • Tamara,
      First off it’s a toss up for me on which book is my favorite by Kristin Hannah. Firefly Lane or The Winter Garden...both so good!

      Secondly....whew!!!!! You been thru some stuff!!! And you lived to talk about it too happy

      I am so sorry for the challenges you have faced and will continue to face. I’m sure you recognize your own worth and realize you were made for better.... On most days!

      Sending you hugs and a little love and whole lotta prayers heart

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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Cathie Beck wrote Apr 12, 2011
    • Tamara, love the way you’ve presented your story and so glad to hear that you no longer hold yourself responsible for your “frog’s” addiction. (I hope for the best in his kicking it.)  

      I had to learn to not hold myself responsible for the X’s inability to love. And not just me,
      but anyone, including his family. And it’s not just the inability to love it’s also not valuing the life, the spirit, the love of others.  

      I was very upset when he told me he wanted a divorce, but soon I embraced it and thankful it’s over and I’m free.... almost. It’s been 17 months and I’m still waiting for him to buy me out (property & business) so I can move.  

      Keep taking care of yourself, Ok?  


            Report  Reply

    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Tamara_el wrote Apr 12, 2011
    • Thank you everyone for embracing a “princess’s challenge.” I am not unique for everyone out there has there own tarnished tiara to re-shine. But it can be done and I wish each and everyone of you all the positive energy and love in striving everyday to be the “princess” you are in your own right NOT the one the kingdom around her desires.

      Have a wonderful day.

      Love and lightheart

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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Apr 12, 2011
    • This touched my soul.  May you continue to shine and gather strength.


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