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When I first moved here, I was just newly married; and a housewife.  Who enjoyed taking good care of all of my husbands needs. ( I still do, but Iam no longer a housewife)  

After a few years, I seeked employment, thus affording me the opportunity to form friendships.  Some of which I thought were meaningful.  Some of which have already ended, and some that are questionable.

My husband and I did what we could to make ends me, because the job that I secured was not one that paid a good salary, but it helped to keep the light on, the rent paind, and food on the table. So we made it work.

As long as my friends saw us struggling to make ends meet, they were happy.  My huby is in the field of law enforcement, and at some point, we moved from the apratment where we lived and paid so much for rent, to the compund that provided housing for his department.  Oh! this was more leveridge for those who thought, we couldn’t handle it, and we were doing BAD.

We were probably doing BAD, by their financial standards, but we were HAPPY, so it never mattered to us.  The car we drove, was third hand...LOL, but it got us where we needed to go, even when we rubbed our pennies together to put gas in it. we got around.

Our friends, drove nice/ or new cars, and slowy, everyone, moved on, and into their new homes...Leaving us behind.  We knew what we wanted, we had all of our plans.  But we were just waiting, and procrastinating, so we were left behind.  

We later decided will will try and do this on our own, no mortgage.  We tried, we got nowhere fast.  two hurricanse destroyed the structure we worked so hard to build...so we put everything on hold.  While all of the nae sayers rejoiced, b/c they didnt think we could afford it or finish it anyway.

After giving birth too our son, we went in full gear,and decided that we would go to the bank to secure a mortgage.  Something I doubted we could do, but our “FRIENDS“, felt would be impossible b/c of the size of our proposed home.

A true friend encouraged us to go, we went, in 4 days the mortgage was approved, and then, it was time to move in.  We did it...but before we did...

Friends called, visited, and called and visited us, where we lived.  No problem.  But since we moved into our NEW HOME, the one they never thought would finish, NO ONE VISITS, NO ONE CALLS....it’ll be days sometimes before the phone rings.  

I am not a show off, I don’t brag about my home either, b/c there are alot of things that I am not happy with with the house....But It’s ours, and I LOVE it, so why not rejoice with us...we did it for you, and are still rejoicing with those that are on stream now.  

Maybe I should be HAPPY that you are staying away....or should I.

I LOVE THE GIFT GOD BLESS US WITH....IT‘S NOT JUST A HOUSE (THE PHYSICAL STRUCTURE)...IT‘S A HOME, (THE LOVE AND WARMTH THAT DWELL WITHIN)”



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Oct 28, 2008
    • I believe, too that people are in our lives for a season, a purpose, and a reason...But, I just sometimes don’t understand how people can just cut you loose, for no apparent reason, well none that you know off.  And if it is for a reason, why not say something?

      I guess I try to hold on to people b/c netiher my hubby or myself have any close relatives here.  I am so used to having that family untiy, and close friendships, where your friends, are just like family, and your children call your friends Aunty or Uncle...you know that kinda way... Those close meaningful relationships....

      This is LIFE though, I just have to get used to it’s changes.

      Thanks for the comment.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Oct 29, 2008
    • Well, I have something to share.  When I first moved into this house, (you see Mormon Town - no offense), they told me the neighbors would bring you cookies and checked you out to find out which ward (their chapter) you were in.  However, on the day I moved in, I was carrying a 12 packs and my girlfriend and I were smoking on the front lawn.  Days went by.  No cookies, no hi, nothing.  So I said “I am spotted.  They must already found out I am not Mormom” I checked the church if any members live around here, no luck.  Then one day I got fad up and I wrote an open house invite and sticked to nearby neighbors’ mailbox despite if they came or not.  Just a little background, if you serve bruise (sp?), they won’t come. Anyhow, I held the open house and they all stopped by.  They said they were so glad to see us holding a beer in our hands.  Now, they are the best neighbors I ever have.

      To make the story short, I understand you are wounded cos’ friends from the past disappear, I am saying “Go and Find your destiny” or reach out and touch someone.  Call your old friends and also create new.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Oct 29, 2008
    • Thank-you Chinadoll.  I appreciate that.

      I will do just that, invite my neighbours over, for brunch or a tea party.  and see how it goes from there.   I hadn’t thought about it that way.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Oct 29, 2008
    • Let me know and I thank you for taking my advise.  Remember the prayer of St. Francis “to console rather than be consoled“...in giving we are receiving.  Good luck.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Feathermaye wrote Oct 29, 2008
    • chinadoll, that was beautiful advice. I think that’s very cool that you extended the hand, only to have it grasped on the other side.

      boneified, I hope you heed chinadoll’s wisdom. I’m not sure better advice could be given. Good luck to you!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Oct 29, 2008
    • Hey Feather.. thank you and a big blow out kiss for you for the day!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Oct 29, 2008
    • I will do just that feather.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      N Parham wrote Nov 5, 2008
    • I have experienced what you have experienced as far as people dropping out of your lives with no explanations.  It is a hard pill to swallow.  One incident was with a female that I had known for a very long time since elementary and high school days.  Over and over again in my mind I asked what did I do.  The questions were directed at her also and years later from another family member I found out the reason.  It hurt because I thought that we were so close that she should have been able to come to me.  You learn to get over it but it leaves you with a strange feeling.  At 44 I don’t have a large number of close friends that I may have had when I was younger.  A lot of times I am in situations when I want to do something that I have no one that I can call and hang out with me but I have learn to do things solo and usually have the best of time or will meet someone while I am by myself.  I love life and refuse to do anything because I have no one to do it with.  I didn’t mean to write a book but your blog really hit home with me.  Have a great day and live life to your fullest.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Shereen Rolle wrote Nov 9, 2008
    • Sexy, I can identify with you. My family lives on a different island frm me, and I have to travel va airplane or boat to get to them, so it’s like lonely around here.  Many times, I sit at home, wanting to go out, either shopping, to see a mive, to the theatre,or some womes seminar, or just out driving, with a girlfriend, but I find myself, just sitting on the couch..theres no one to call, everyone is like invisible.

      No one calls, it’ll be weeks sometimesbefore our phone ring, with a friend on the other end.  sometimes, i pick up the phone to call, and then hang up, feeling like I will be a bother, so why call.

      I have made up my mind to just satisfy with what GOD has blessed me with...(1) My husband/bestfriend, and (2) My Son (bestestfriend.)

      They always make me happy and complete.



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