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Life is full of paradox.  Should you take a risk or observe? Does your child need more freedom or control?  Stay quiet or fight back?  Help someone or create a boundary? We are faced with dilemmas throughout the day.  We believe that we must choose one over the other to create a balance in ourselves and in our life, but instead we create tensions that lead to breakdowns.

In ancient tradition teachings, the tensions in life are not only a natural part of life, but they are life.  The dynamic opposition is what gives birth to and sustains the changing and evolving creative essentials of our world.  We clearly see this interaction by the T'ai Chi's swirling black-and-white circle. It shows us that without one part of the pair, the other cannot exist.  Both sides of the picture complete the circle of wholeness.  Without the dynamic interplay between these powerful pairs, there is only stagnation and narrow thinking.  This creative paradox is in fact complementary and absolutely essential for life and growth.  One great lesson I have learned in life is we cannot ignore or chase away the tension of opposites, because its how the universe operates.  Our job is to learn how to flow with life and listen to our inner-pleasure balance compass.
I have seen with many of my clients that when they don't listen to their body and embrace both sides the situation they create breakdowns instead of breakthroughs. When we become out of balance, we become and feel lopsided, especially in our body. The body sends us messages to help us get back into balance. Recently, I had a client craving late night cookie dough ice cream. I'm sure many have been here, I have! What was occurring for my client was pressure in receiving a promotion especially in this economy. The ice cream felt like a big old bear hug, a way she had learned to receive love, relax, and smooth over her feelings. Now, she takes a bubble bath with a good book, she has fun playful tools at work, and can listen more to what her body wants to eat. I'm so excited for her; she is rocking her new promotion! And she still eats her ice creams now and then with so much more pleasure!
When you learn to honor yourself then you are respecting, appreciating, and giving birth to your best self so you can give creatively and abundantly in ways that honors others. At its core, using a pleasure balance compass gives us the inner-guidance in receiving and giving during our personal paradoxes.
Ready to gaining more understanding of this balance system? My beauties, many of us believe that our duty is to give, give, give, which prevents us from living joyfully and giving fully. For example, the earth must receive enough nutrients, sunshine, and water before it can produce a beautiful harvest. Your body and mind need their own nutrition and self-love to support one another, connect with your soul, and create a beautiful life for you.
Finding the balance in the paradox in life begins with these few questions: Do you love yourself enough to honor your body's needs? Do you give yourself the nourishment, rest, and activity you deserve? If you can give all this to yourself, as well as getting out of your mind and into your body then your body will make sure you find your balance. Your body always has your back! You see this when you trust and learn to receive from her. If you want to get in touch with your inner potential, you must also care for your body and listen to her wisdom. Rabbi Nachman said, "Strengthen your body before you strengthen your soul."
From society we have learned to push ourselves beyond our limits, we are giving on an empty tank when we should be receiving. Honoring yourselves and connecting to your pleasure balance compass is going to call for adding into your life more playful activities. It's about asking yourself what you need, right now, in order for you to regain balance. A conscious effort is needed to come back into balance by learning more of yourself and asking yourself: What do I need at this moment to create happiness? Your happiness is your responsibility.
Earlier today, I asked this question to myself. I was writing on the computer and I felt my body slumping and becoming tight. In response my thoughts became narrow and nothing flowed. To balance myself out I put the music on, let go of my mind and got into my body and just danced. It was so awesome! I feel free! After 5 minutes, I was so into my body and happy that I could connect more to myself, the writing slowed smoothly, and my body was relaxed. For myself, I know moving my body is key and a method to honor myself. This doesn't sound difficult, but it takes practice. The change begins with watching yourself, getting to know yourself, and then translating that knowledge into action that is distinct to your needs.
Ask yourself throughout the day: Do you sacrifice the needs of your body because you are giving so much of yourself?  Do you ignore the warning signs that are trying to get you back into balance?  Do you think of your body as something you love and completely surrender to?

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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mjmurphy wrote May 16, 2009
    • Great Post! This is something I need to be mindful of, I know I have a lifetime of putting my needs on the backburner for children, family, and work and need to listen to my body and my needs.

      thank you

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