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*I will preface this post by saying that some cases I’m dealing with may be just misunderstandings and mistakes. However, I will also preface this post by saying that it really does piss me off when I have to beg and plead with someone to get them to pony up the money they were supposed to pay me. It is degrading and stupid. For the blog readers who have been listening to me whine for three months, it’ll be over soon. Continuing on.

Everyday, I check my mail, hoping that the check you owe me will be there. I sidle out to the mailbox in my flip-flops and pajama pants, saying a quick prayer before opening it.

“Please God, let the check be here. Let me keep a good relationship with this person. Let me not have to resort to bitchy behavior, bitchy phone calls, and threats to have a sit-in in someone’s office. Let me not have to say to this person ‘you will never get more work from me because you don’t pay your bills.‘”

It’s so much easier to just be nice. Being bitchy is time-consuming, tiring and makes me feel icky. Unless it’s bitchiness for the sake of comedy, and then it’s hilarious.

The only thing my mailbox has brought me is bills. I don’t have the luxury of not paying Verizon, Regions, Bank of America, NES, and Metro Water. When I miss due dates, they charge me extra.

Thanks to you, I owe Citicard an extra 80 bucks. Because you haven’t paid me and I couldn’t pay them. That bill sits on my nightstand, looking at me each morning. Things like that are what keep me up at night and wake me from sleep. Last night, I had full-body restless leg syndrome wake me up at 3am. While I stood in my bedroom waiting for Nytols number 3 and 4 to kick in, I thought of you.  

Each morning, you wake up in a house nicer than mine, put on shoes nicer than mine, and walk out the door with a Coach purse in your hand.

While you are walking around with your Coach purse, think of me. Each day, as my frustration builds, I come in from the mailbox and sit on my living room floor and cry. I cry because I can’t do anything else. There is no one to punch, no car to key. After I cry, I write. It’s better than getting drunk and it keeps me from throwing things.  

While you slather yourself with Clinique products, I’m trapped in my house nursing stress breakouts and looking like a troll. While you grill up a steak, I eat Ramen. While you go get highlights, I watching my hair come out in handfulls in the shower.

It’s not even all about the money. It’s about me wondering how someone can look me in the eye and make a deal and then completely renege on it.  

I hope, while you fall asleep at night with the help of neither Nytol nor vodka, you think of me. I am not a faceless corporation. I am a person. When you don’t pay your bills, you tell me that my work is good enough to use but not good enough to pay for. You tell me that everything you said when we met meant nothing. You tell me that you don’t care about doing what you said you would do. You tell me that you don’t have the character to honor your commitments. In my world, a person’s word is still worth something. The population keeps shrinking.




Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lazylola wrote Aug 5, 2009
    • I feel your frustration, I’ve had to make the phone calls asking for my money, I’ve even had to make those on behalf of the company I work for. Those are not fun calls at all...I take it you do a lot of freelance work...I’ve thought of doing that utilitizing some of my talents, the times I have done it I have asked for partial payment up front and the balance due when the completed work is turned in to the customer. Not sure if that is an option for you, but it’s worth a shot...you are also correct in surmising the shrinking population of honorable people...I had a blow up with my oldest son once when he owed me money, I had pills to pay and was stressing over that when he came in to show me a tattoo he had just gotten, with money he could have paid me...I had a major meltdown on his ass that day, but I think I managed to make a lesson stick with him that day, that is if you owe anyone money and you are going to be a jerkwad about paying them then don’t be an asshat and flaunt anything around them that was paid with money you could have paid them, but better yet, be a man, suck it up, go without until you pay people back..

      Hope tomorrow you have a check in the mail



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Aug 6, 2009
    • The first thing I would recommend is to remove any sign of bills or work from your bedroom. This may help remove some negative energy preventing you from sleeping. Yeah I know bills..... they suck! Not much you can do but do the best you can. Hang in there.... there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it’s not a train!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Frannie1964 wrote Aug 6, 2009
    • Well I don’t have anyone who owes me money, but my best friend has a couple friends who owe her alot of money and yet have not even attempted to pay her back just a little bit of It. Shes not asking for It all back at once but 20.00 or even 10.00 here and there would make her happy. They don’t even give her that, but yet when she talks to one of them that she see’s now and then, this person talks about going to Vegas and having fun..etc etc.. and I’m telling my bff, have you reminded her that she owes you MONEY??  my bff Is way to nice about It. She doesn’t want to keep telling her cause then she thinks shes bugging her or cause she just had a minor surgery she doesn’t want to ask her for money..HELLOOOO!!! Shes going to VEGAS to have fun, I think shes passed the point of having that surgery and you bugging her! Her friend who owes her money ought to be ashamed of herself. I mean do you not think before talking about going here and there to the friend you owe alot of money too? Are you just CLUELESS?? And then to top It off, she asked my bff If she can barrow 200.00 dollars to fly to SC to visit a friend she met online. OMG! I had to bite my tongue.

      So If this person owes you money, keep reminding them, eventually they will get tired of hearing It and possibly fork out some dough!

      Hope your mailbox has a check In It this time.

      ((( Hugz )))



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Aug 6, 2009
    • Geez I like your blogs.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Evilamy wrote Aug 7, 2009
    • Oh dude. When loaning money to friends, always assume that you’ll never get it back. If they actually end up repaying you, then it’s like a bonus. (Same applies to doing freelance work for bands. Just assume you won’t get paid and try to get a portfolio piece out of it, ha ha.)



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