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I meant to write this blog a few months ago, but I never got around to it until now.  

When I graduated from High School, a 3.5 GPA was something to be proud of. These years, it seems as though if a child has anything below a 4.0,they will struggle getting into a good college.  

A few years ago I wrote the blog College on almost a dimewhere I talked about my daughter dropping out of High School early and getting her two year degree and transferring to UCLA. Since all of my kids are just lovingly average in school(just the way I like them ☺), I was really proud when Daisy got her degree at the age of twenty from UCLA and is now studying to be an optometrist.  

Fast forward a few years and my youngest one is applying to colleges, stressing over where she is going to get in, because just like her other siblings, she is just average and her GPA is a 3.5.  

After years of hard work, and countless hours of practice playing piano, Sasha received a diploma from the school of music, this was her ticket to her school of choice. When time came to audition, she was really disappointed, she saw that she was up against kids that not only had the same credentials in piano but also had a 4.0 plus GPA. She began loosing hope of being accepted to the school of her dreams SDSU.

Her fears came true, she received a letter telling her that even though she was accepted to the "school of music" within San Diego State (an extremely difficult program with low acceptance rate), because of the budget constraints and limited space she will be waitlisted with practically no chance of getting inn. (no one got off that list in the last 5 years)

(Sasha is receiving a music scholarship)

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • Ok other than the money thing is there really a reason they want them on campus? I know when my daughter went off to school she was on academic probation. I know and she admits it was because she was “free” and partying. We boith now know had she been home and commuting to school she wouldn’t have done it the same way.
      I can’t imagine that my kid was the only one to do this. So is it they get more money too from kids repeating the classes they failed?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • BTW.......

      Sasha.....



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Critcher wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • That is so true it is all about the money, besides the first two years is all about the basic’s anyway. Unless your child is mature at 18 (and most of them are not) the first taste of freedom is going to be partying and having fun not getting a full understanding of all of the classes they sign up for. So I think you did the right thing in fight for your daughter to stay at home, it will get her out of the elements of her peers and not concentrate on her studies.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • First off, I feel that a 3.5 GPA is still awesome! And she deserves to get in the school of her choice.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Karen Branum wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • Unfortunately everything is about money these days, I'd keep trying to get around that live on campus issue. I don't see why in the world there would be a rule like that. It's just plain stupid.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      UK Girl wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • I don;t understand the system - but what are your options here - in the UK you make a number of choices and then when people get their exam results you go through the clearing lists so people can see where there are courses available at other colleges - do you have that.

      On another note well done Sasha and look how the dog always sneaks into pictures....heart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Tobi Gary wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • I find it a sad state of affairs, when our institutes of higher learning require students to live on campus just to collect more money. College is pricey enough just for classes. It’s a wonder anyone can afford to send their kids to college if this is what the administrators think kids need to have a “college experience“. I guess they figure the kids(parents) will do anything in order to attend their dream college. Keep fighting Yana. It is a stupid rule and one that needs to be changed.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Momofthreeprincess wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • What a POS.  I have to agree.  

      I was lucky in the fact that Danielle was able to attend the junior college here and transfer most of her classes to the university also here in town.  She has been with in 10 mins of both places.  I had a friend that her daughter lived on campus for her first year.  The first year she spent doing nothing but enjoying herself.  It was a waste of her parents money.  but then I guess the schools expect that.  there really is no four year program now.  Most kids spend 5 to 6 years in school to get a 4 year degree.  Some have to work to pay for school, some changer their minds about what they want to do, and some just waste time.  Danielle was one of those that had to work, and she changed her mind about what she wanted to do.  Since 2003 when she graduated high school she has worked full time and managed to keep her grades up to a GPA of 3.5.  She did have to drop out of school for one semester due to illness but she was able to go back in the winter and take a few courses.  Next year will be her last (I hope)and she is already talking about getting another major in special education in the future.  

      It should be the parents choice as to if they feel their child is able to handle the demands that college has and to live on campus or not.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Trudy S wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • Great story.  In all my many years of work, no one has asked what school I went to (other than the fact that I went) OR my GPA.  All they wanted to know was if I had the ‘right’ degree they were looking for.

      I suppose if you want to work at a top-notch NYC law firm the story might be different....but I’m just an average person who wanted an average job...

      I did better than that but NOT because I went to the best schools and got a 4.0.  I did that because I have the drive to make it happen.

      There seem to be many stories out there like mine...and like Daisy’s.  You can acheive your dreams without a 4.0 grad point average!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda Hendricks wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • Oh how I can relate to all this... my son was one of the “smart kids” ... Presidential Fitness Award (no athletic... I have no idea why they call it that... it’s all academics...)... first he stressed over the lack of scholarships for ...(and I mean no ethnic slur here whatsoever...it’s just a fact...) there were few scholarships available for white American with German background boys... had he been a minority he would have had a boatload of choices to apply to...  

      THEN he stressed over getting into a school... he was in the top 10 in his graduating class... and you know he was right... I almost fainted... he had numerous rejections... and I wonder what it was based on... his average was high... he had athletics and school activites as well as outside activities... ...

      NOW for my rant... I get absolutley feisty over the fact that universities and graduate schools take foreign students when our American kids struggle for a higher education... it’s been like this since I was in school.. I remember having really bright soroity sisters with almost 4.0 averages and high boards have trouble getting into law and medical schools... and yet these same schools take kids from other countries... when are we going to take care of our own.

      So in answer to your question... I think the answer lies in the fact these schools take foreign students or at least far too many of them.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • I just turned around and asked Joe what he thought of the rule that freshmen have to live on campus regardless of how close they live to the school. His response “I think it’s a bad idea. It all boils down to the colleges making money.”

      So being as he’s been in education for 30 years and runs a college prep school - I take that as a good answer!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Trudy S wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • I ran the English Language School at an east coast university.  Not unlike the ‘must live on campus’ rule, the reason overseas kids are accepted is because the are willing to pay BIG bucks to be at our schools.

      Again...it all comes down to $$.  

      Isn’t this what capitalism is all about though?  Supply & demand....market driven economy?

      I don’t like it but that’s what it is about...right?



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Allinet48 wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • I’ve not heard of a college requiring students to live on campus-though I know the UC’s here in CA. prefer to have freshmen students in the dorms if don’t live local and don’t give parking passes to freshmen either. This helps them to spread their wings. I have 3 bright dd, all in college. Oldest went to community college then transferred to state university, while living at home(her choice.)She is now entering last year of her 4 year PharmD program at UCSD.(Student loans for post grad required by her parents-we only pay first 2 or 4 years.)#2 went to UCDavis, graduated with double majors and minor in four years(summer school req.)And I know she had a fairly active social life-not overboard.Now is at USF for a MFA#3 is at UCSB, should graduate in four years with double majors and minor. All three are very self driven and get good grades. We are fortunate to be able to pay for college as much as we have. I’ll never forget my oldest dd tutoring her 1st year at CC and being told by 2 students the only reason they were there was because they got full loans to get them off of welfare. Anyway, with all the AP classes offered now, high school kids are getting GPA‘S as high as 4.25. There are many ways to do things and what works for one might not be right for another.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anonymous wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • We’ve not reached the point yet of college.  Although we have discussed it many times, as next school year our son will be a junior.   He does not have a choice except to live at home the first semester. First, we both know he is going to party instead of work, so we want the first year here near us where we can keep him on the straight and narrow.  I know that sounds harsh but he is an ADD/ODD child, but highly intelligent and refuses to study and still came out this year with a 3.07.  Not, bad for a child that has not made good decisions.  But, he would not have done that well if we did not dangle something over his head all the time.  I know once he turns 18, he’s supposedly an adult, but with the problems he has remembering to even take his medication, I see no other way for him to meet his goal of a nurse ansetheologist (?).
      So unless there are some drastic changes within the next 2 school years, the rules will stay the same.

      As for having to live on campus that’s just for money.  That is sad that schools stoop to that level to get students.   I’m sorry for your daughter, but she should be very proud of herself for making the grade point average she did.  I know for people going to high school is a lot social and academic, which can put stress on a child.    

      I wish your daughter the best of luck.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Anne E wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • That’s a shame!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Southerndiva wrote Jun 8, 2010
    • Everything always comes down to money! I can tell you that I lived on campus my freshman year, and everybody partied. It scared me to think of my child being exposed to what I was at the age of 18, and I know it’s alot worse now! I think living on/off campus should be the parent/student’s choice.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Irina Hurme wrote Jun 9, 2010
    • Hi, I live in Finland and we don’t have system like yours, but here is my opinion anyway! First of all, congratulations for your daughter! You must be so proud of your children! Secondly, I agree with you and termagsea. My children are younger so I’ll tell you about my own experince. I moved away from home when I turned 18 because of my studies in a collage. I moved to live in a city which was located 500 km up north (my choise). In those days we didn’t have phone at home and mobiles weren’t invented yet. So I visited at home once a month or two. Those visits were the only way to connect. I don’t really know what my Mom thought about it, but I didn’t give her any choise. But as far as I know she was proud of my independence. Our life in those community houses were like termagsea descripted, and I got out of the school with 3.5 average.  

      I’m schocked that they have made these living arrangement mendatory in there. I’m sure it’s only for the money. It has nothing to do with education nor sosial skills. Here living in commune or campus is often the only way of living hence we don’t have colleges nor universities in every city. It’s a small procentage whom are so lucky that they don’t need to move into another city for collage.  

      This is of course easy to me to say, it’s not my daughter moving out, but, she is nearly 18 and I’m sure she is capable to live herself. It is good opportunity for her to learn independency and to you to learn let go. And I’m sure you are there for her is she needs assistance. It will be fine! But it is up to you and your dauhgter what you do heart.  

      In any case, have a wonderful summer!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Marya1961 wrote Jun 9, 2010
    • Congrats Sasha!...Our son Steve has been working since he graduated from high school (he is 22) even though I stress the importance of a higher education, he decided that working a job at this point was much more important than heading to college and he explained it to us in this way...the cost of colleges these days is astronomical in which case he would have needed to take out loans.  He listens to his cousin talk about paying loans back until he is an old man and Steve does not want to do that.  Therefore, his plan is to work for a while, save as much money as he can, continue to live at home, pay a weekly sum for room and board to us, and investigate his options for some type of schooling for the future (either technical or law enforcement)...meanwhile his savings will in time help pay for his continued education and he won’t be burdened with payments the rest of his life and will be able to afford a place of his own.  It is scary out there for all young people trying to make a life of their own and each individual is different, but honestly, I agree with you, Yana, no one has the right to tell another at what age they are an adult ready to take on the world, that is only what the law says and does not pertain to everyone.estaticestaticheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kalic0 wrote Jun 9, 2010
    • Yana, thats an interesting story. I agree about 3.5 being a good grade average and it is silly to think that you have to make all As for four years just to get into a decent college (NOT ivy leage or even top ten, but just has a great program for you).
      The living on campus or not issue, I agree that is NOT for a decision the institution to make.  I really think it should be the students.  My kids are still little (since I waited) but I hope they will be able to/want to go to college.  When I graduated high school I chose a school partically because it was too far away from home for me to live at home.  Though I did party a bit too much my first year, I never have regretted my decision.  I appreciated home much more after some time away.  However, my sisters oldest just started college a couple of years ago, and she chose to go to a local university and live at home. I think if your daughter wants to live at home she should be allowed to and you should not have to pay extra.  Makes me wonder if they require this for all new students, or just those fresh out of high school.  What about someone who graduted from hs intending to go “next year” and then life got in the way, and now, 5 or 6 years later they are new freshman.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Alina Bartell wrote Jun 9, 2010
    • Wow, I thought the stress will get smaller not higher as kids grow (my two boys are middle and H.S). I shiver seeing the educational and cultural resources dwindling down and institutions making such a poor choices just for money. You have such a great kids! It sounds like you did fabulous as a Mom (and still do). Your statement “it’s the journey, not the destination” is so true. I had a lot of education with diplomas but 30 years later ... it really the skills I acquired, the hard work and persistence that truly mattered. And I can totally see that you pass that on to your children and they’ll be fine. Sasha is darling on the photos, must have worked very hard to get the scholarship and 3.5. Well done!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Kerri1985 wrote Jun 10, 2010
    • So very interesting it’s so hard for kids to get an education, funding is not what it use to be. Thank you so much for sharing this story I have family that are graduating soon and this will help a lot.

      Thanks



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Wookiemom09 wrote Jun 10, 2010
    • Sounds like Sasha has worked hard and will be advancing in music.  

      My son just finished his freshman year.  We had the same battle - trying to find scholarships and grants for middle class family and his stepbrother in tech college.  We scrapped together what was needed financially.  Campus is out of state (3 1/2 hrs) and playing football so thought this would help to keep him focused on grades.  Discovered 1 week before spring semester is out - he is failing 3 classes (9 hrs), his partial scholarship is in jeporady and his spot on the team.  His grades weren’t posted till a week ago - too late for summer session I classes.  Now he is scrambling and worried he has screwed up everything.  His first taste of adulthood is a “crap smoothie” (his words) and he doesn’t know how to fix it.  Had he lived at home, maybe we could have helped him improve his grades and he grow up slower.  However he is an adult and has to face the consequences of his poor judgement and it is a struggle for both of us as I am trying to figure out what my new role as part time mom and have to wait for his request for help and not jump in and do it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Blondzrbest wrote Jun 11, 2010
    • OMG, I’m in Georgia and I don’t know if we have this rule for freshman year or not, I better start checking since my daughter is now a rising junior.  One of her major problems and this has literally been since Pre-K, yes you heard that right Pre-K, she has lied about not having homework.  We thought she would surely “out grow” this (always saying she didn’t have homework............sheesh, her dad and I knew better).  Finally in middle school (which was called Junior High when I went to school)the schools started a website that listed their homework, so we could keep up with it that way.  In elementary and middle school they would always let her “make-up” all homework assignments, no such rule or luck in High School, so when August rolls around it starts all over.  I was hoping she would “come” around and finally decide to do her homework, it’s usually 10-20% of their final class grades.  Her end of the year report card had one F and two D’s, the rest A’s and B’s.  I hate it and no longer know what to do.  Her passion was to go to West Point, she and I know that will never happen now.  She has two years to “straighten” up but her dad and I have said that for the past nine years.  She’s a very intelligent child so we just don’t know what it is...........I’m so sad and afraid for her future.  If she can end up with an overall C average she will be eligible for what Georgia calls the “hope scholarship“...........it’s lottery funded.  If not she’ll have to choose something from our Technical college (she really wants to be a teacher), but as much as I hate it she may end up enrolling in boot camp and go in to one of the military branches...........Hubby and I are at the end of our rope.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Barbara Http://www.wetutor.com/profiles/156 wrote Jun 12, 2010
    • “The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.”—Cicero
      We are college hunting this summer...
      This is the sad state of education..



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Amy L. Harden wrote Jun 15, 2010
    • Yana...a woman after my own heart...advocating and finding a way that is BEST for her child!!  Don’t ever let an education administrator tell a mother like us NO...we see that as “throwing down of the glove“...a challenge!  Stand back and watch as a mother will make things happen!! estatic

      THank you for sharing Yana...and CONGRATULATIONS to Sasha!!!

      Amy happyheart



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Darlene Sabella wrote Jun 19, 2010
    • My Son is going to college now and he is 45, once it gets in you blood you start loving school.  I would spend everyday at college if I could, to learn and grow no matter what age we are. I wish I had sent them to college right after school, but my funds low and they never really wanted to go.  Love you Yana, darskiheartheart



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Faye43 wrote Jul 9, 2010
    • Yana. I wish the best for your daughter. She should be proud of a 3.5 GPA. I am in school now and many students I attend with wish they had a GPA as high. Take care and God bless, Faye happy



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Lita wrote Jul 13, 2010
    • So much has changed and is changing!  My son attended the community college here for two years and has transferred to a four year college in Atlanta.  It was a good choice for him, it allowed him to get a feel of “college life“.  The way the Professors teach differently than High School teachers and the difference in the classroom settings ect.
      He has experienced the “merry go round” of trying to see this advisor and that advisor, keeping up with his classes to ensure that he stays on the right track (as far as his requirements for his major) and so on.  All of the  necessary “footwork“, he learned while living at home and going to a community college. He didn’t have to worry about a roomate, he was able to come home and vent or consult us when he needed.  I am confident that when he arrives on campus in August that he will be able to “survive” college life (with his parents 4hours away).  I believe that you have to know your children and know what there personalities can handle. And my advise for the parents: Pray, Pray, Pray!  Good luck to all college students and their families!!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Gabby wrote Jul 15, 2010
    • Great news Yana. Congratulotaions all round.

      You sure must be a proud Mom.

      Gabby



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