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Benefits
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Benefits
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Men cheat because something is missing for him in his life, relationship, a lack of fulfillment.
My husband cheated and he and I have dissected this subject.
He said the reason he cheated was that he felt lonely in our relationship.
This other person came along that he was not looking for, but she presented herself. She would invite him to events and outings. Therefore, he went. Not blaming me; I must admit that he did ask me to go here and there and I would say no I tired or I am going to stay late at work.
So I gave him the time alone.
He said it started innocently, two friends meeting up to go biking, roller skating, having lunch on the weekend just getting out and doing stuff; while also getting to know the other person. One day she kissed him and she told him how she felt about him.
That is when the affair started. It has been 15 years since I forgave him. Nevertheless, I still remember it as if it happened yesterday.
Men do not cheat along it take three people: The wife, the husband and the other woman.
I have a friend who knows my history with my husband; she knows my pain, yet she is the other woman in a cheating man’s web.
I have met this man. I ask out right why are you cheating on both your girlfriend and on my friend.
He had a similar story. His live in girl friend is never around. When he is home she gives him a honey do list and then when he is done with the list. She wants to go out with her friends and tells him honey you should go out with the boys. He did go out with the boys as she suggested and one day my friend was with the boys from work. They started talking and hit it off. After a few months of hanging with the boys and a few of the single women that hung out with the boys. He found himself in love with my friend.
I asked why you do not leave your girl friend. He said because I need to know she will be all right. I have to know she has found a job and that she can take care of herself. I have to feel ok with her situation before I can move on.
I found that funny. Why I found it funny is because, my husband had mentioned that to me also. That he thought about leaving me but wanted to make sure I was OK. WOW! They care yet they cheat.
The victim is not to blame but you cannot blame the cheater either. The cheater is just looking for fulfillment. He care but he wants what he needs and is missing from the old relationship. We are all gulty of being selfish.
Wow! Fab40 has a theme going this week..... Did you see Yana’s blog?
So for me to actually answer the question why do they cheat?
BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID!!!!!
When you are married, you or your husband have NO BUSINESS going out to do ‘stuff’ on the weekends, rollerblading, cafe or with another woman or man. That is OFF LIMITS when you are married. PERIOD! unless they are gay
That was great Rosa, and I can tell you from experience that women cheat for exactly the same reasons. And stay for the same reasons.
Cristina, in an ideal marriage, things happen as you say. A man or woman does not go do other things, but along the way, life happens.
I think men cheat because they want to...has nothing to do with the wife...Many a times the wife or girlfriend at home are great women...supportive, loving, whatever the case may be...but the man is not satisfied...wants more...wants the cake and eat it too...
If the man/woman is not getting what they want/need they should first talk to the spouse, if their needs/wants can’t/won’t be met then they should consider moving on, cheating isn’t the answer.
Partners do tell us all the time what they want. We just do not listen. It’s easy to point and say should have and could have.
My husband told me many times that he did not like the schedules I kept at work. But I chose not to change my job or my schedule; until many years later when He said "I need you to share my life or I want a divorce.” Cheating is not a one sided issue. At the end of the day if you do not listen and do not move to change. The other person will go out and find what they need elsewhere.
To say that women are the good ones and the men are the bad and evil dogs. Is wrong! Why do humans do what they do? It comes down to basic selfish needs. I want something. You are not giving it to me, so I will go out and get it. This is how we all are. Not just men who cheat. It is silly to think that a partner wants to go out of his way to hurt his wife. Men do not take marriage lightly so why would the cheat lightly. Not all cheaters are created equal, but I am talking about the average person not sex addicts.
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