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Here is a question, I am asking myself. I currently am seeing this guy and have been for the last three months. We have been knowing one another for over a year now going on two years. But, I avoided this guy because I felt he might be a little too worldly for me (meaning too experienced in a lot of ways that I’m not)so I was afraid. But there was this attraction between us that could not be shaken. We danced around each other for 8 months, then I decided to give it a try with him. So it’s almost 4 months and the relationship is nowhere near where I’d hoped it would be. He doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship he’s been in one and didn’t workout and he’s scared from it. So, I’m sitting here thinking what do I do, I have tried 4 times to end this thing well not hard enough because I like being with him but why? He’s not romantic he doesn’t really go out of his way for me we laugh a lot and talk some but we don’t have anything real in common. So, why am I wasting my time on a man who is not ready for a real relationship and doesn’t plan on marriage in the future. Why do they find it difficult to commit. He’s always saying we women are this or that...as if we do all the wrong. Ladies help me out, I need your advice.

Kerri

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Member Comments

    • +3 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • Time to either move on and accept that you are just too special for this man. Or decide you a re unworthy and this is the best you can get and the best treatment you will get.

      Now I suspect you are too special for him and think you should move on. But you gotta agree!



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Kerri1985 wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • Thank you Vikki, I really am too special for this guy but why does it feel like every time I want to break free. I feel a pulling in his direction. What in the world is wrong with me?



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • I think it has to do with comfort zone. When you‘re comfortable it’s really hard to move beyond. Just don’t call him tonite and eat, read, exercise or hang here on fab40!



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Kerri1985 wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • Thank you love I needed to hear that it is being comfortable...I had made up in my mind that I wasn’t going to do any of things I had been doing and let go. If he really cares then he will seek me where I can be found. Hugzheartheartheartestatic



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • Amen!!!!!!

      Xoxoxoxo



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • Pull away from him and let him show his true colors. Why not? See what he's really made of. If he doesn't measure up, dump him and move on.
      I agree with Vikki too. Hang here! estatic Do anything but  call or text him.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Kerri1985 wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • Thank you Jenz!!!! Love the support Hugz & Love....



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • Kerri, take care of you and if it is going to happen it will.
      Don’t play games, just live your life for you.
      If he is worth your love it will happen and never ‘settle’ for Mr. Maybe! heart



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Mzd3 wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • great advice there...I agree



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • You‘re VERRRRY welcome. Anytime. Belieeeeeeve me, these ladies listened to me for a LOOOONG time and im not quite sure what Id have done without them!
      We wont steer you in the wrong direction. estatic
      Remember this too- even if it isnt him, there IS someone out there waiting for you! estatic I didnt believe it either, but it finally happened to me. With that said, there’s hope for everybody! estatic
      Take care of you. I know its hard to be in that position, believe me. And you might get sick of hearing that but its really SO true and youll be SO much stronger taking care of yourself inside and out. It really does help and work.
      Do what you like to do. Do things for yourself. Read ‘why men marry bitches’ too. Its awesome!

      Hugs right back!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Kerri1985 wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • Ladies, I’m in tears thank you so much for all yourcare and concern and beautiful advice. Jenz I will keep those thoughts of love finding me and do what is best for me. Muah Muah Muah!!! I wish I could hug each of you.

      God bless you!



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    • +2 votes vote up vote up

      Vikki Hall wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • Keri that’s just how we roll on Fab40!



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Kerri1985 wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • I LOVE IT... :)



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Angell Villafañe wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • Kerri I agree with the other ladies. If you are not getting anything from this guy then don’t waste your time with him...you deserve someone who is going to give you your hearts desire. I know when we chatted I told you to give it some time and see if he comes around but if you still aren’t getting anything from him then it is time to move on. Don’t settle for mediocrity...you deserve the best sweets. happy



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • One thing I remembered that was said to me even tho it drove me nuts to think of once in awhile, was this-
      ‘If a man wants you, wild horses wont stop him from showing it..’
      I was scared to know the answer back then but at the same time, I thought it took the stress load off of me thinking about it because what is meant to happen, will. Somehow it gave me a way to step off of trying so hard to figure things out back then.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Kerri1985 wrote Mar 1, 2011
    • Angell,

      Yes we have discussed and thank you so much for your support. As stated I have made up my mind to let go and do me. If he cares he will do the right thing if not too bad for him, because I am so much more than he deserves.Muah!!! heartheartheartheart



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Denise Richardson wrote Mar 2, 2011
    • happyHi Kerri, you‘re too precious in God’s eyes to throw your pretty little self away to a loser. NEVER lower your standards you’ve set for yourself just for the sake of being with a man, any man just for the company. He is not worth it. You have already pointed out some of the things that says he isn’t worth your time. You need to walk away and just count your loss‘es which isn’t much at this time, but move forward without him. He isn’t ready nor does it sound like he ever will be with any woman. He just wants to play around and not commit, so let him play alone and move on. He sounds like a user to me and people can only do to us what we allow so don’t allow yourself to be played by him any further move on, life is too short and I’m sure there is someone out there worthy of you and your time waiting in the wings.

      OH and to answer the question as to why men won’t commit to women these days is........... because many women allow them to not commit they just accept whatever the men do in the relationship just for the sake of saying there is a man around. Where is the happiness in that!?



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Kerri1985 wrote Mar 2, 2011
    • Neicy, WOW WOW WOW!!! THANK YOU IS ALL I CAN SAY...MUAH MUAH MUAH!!!! BLESS YOU.heartheartheart



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Kerri1985 wrote Mar 2, 2011
    • Eva,

      I appreciate your words...Please pray for me because it’s more difficult than I thought still standing my ground tho no calling or texting not doing any of things I use to do. I do find myself yearning for him. But I know why. Ladies if I failed to mention which is why it’s a little difficult because we work at the same company and I see him everyday. So I hear all of you and I will succeed in this journey to move passed him. Thank you all so much.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Angell Villafañe wrote Mar 2, 2011
    • Wow Neicy you hit that right on the nose...well said!! Kerri as you know I have definitely been guilty of settling for less than the best just to keep a man around and allowing unacceptable behavior because I didn’t want to be alone. It’s a sad life to live but I finally got out and with the grace of God I will stay out. It’s no fun being with someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings...it just doesn’t make you feel good at all and truth be told I felt lonelier when I was with him than I am now that he’s gone. So move on girlfriend...live your life and soon you will meet that special guy who will love and care for you like you deserve. heartheartheart



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Kerri1985 wrote Mar 2, 2011
    • Thanks Sweet Ang68, Muah! Neicy really was on point with that, so grateful for women power!!! Ang, I know what I must do taking baby steps but I am taking my steps, you know I do feel lonely even being with him he doesn’t get anything I say or share in anything I like or even care for that matter. Wow! who have I become this has never been me ever. Being 43 and unmarried has really have me thinking is this all there is and heaven knows I know the truth and this is not all there is...keep encouraging me girl. I need you :)



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Angell Villafañe wrote Mar 2, 2011
    • I’m here for you girly...if you want to chat I’m on FB tonight.



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Mar 8, 2011
    • Just wonderin how ya are! estatic



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Kerri1985 wrote Mar 9, 2011
    • @Jenz,

      I’m hanging in there it ain’t easy let me tell you but I am doing good. Being prayerful holding my ground. Thank you Jenz



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    • +1 votes vote up vote up

      Kerri1985 wrote Mar 9, 2011
    • @Neicy, Thank you love! I want God’s blessing for my life and I have to be obedient to His will for my life...Luv u all so much!!!



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