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You look hot and you know it. New shoes, new makeup, new dress. Mani and Pedi with hot wax treatment.  You spend the extra twenty minutes to look just right. You walk out to living room and he says:

“We‘re late, are you finally ready?”

What?

Isn’t this the same man who told you how beautiful you are every time you went anywhere, even to Home Depot? Do you miss his compliments? Do you miss how he used to look at you?

It is not unusual for your man to fall into a flow of day to day life where your appearance is not the most important thing to him.  Try not to assume anything or read anything into his misstep.  

Instead, take some action and get yourself noticed!  One of my client's mantras is "Why is it always up to the women?"  I know, I know, but think of it this way.  He doesn't know how much this is bothering you so you need to let him know. When you can start to get compliments from other people and enjoy them, the pressure is off of him to be your sole provider!  

Meanwhile, here are three action steps that will get you into the flow of compliments that are already all around you:

1. Ask for compliments. This is a radical idea, not for the faint of spiritual heart. Start your day asking the Universe, the Divine or whatever you call your higher power to send you people who will compliment you. It is crazy how this works. You ask and then just watch what happens as you go about your business. Try it. Getting compliments always feels terrific and they don’t have to just come from your man!

2. Compliment yourself. This may sound a little loony to you, don’t blame you for that, but it really works. How can we expect compliments from our men when we don’t even appreciate our own looks? Tell yourself how hot you look and do it out loud. Amazing how a week of this will feed your need to feel great about yourself!

3. Compliment random strangers. Think how great it feels when someone notices your new haircut or shoes. Plan on complimenting three strangers a day on something you admire. Watch their reaction; see if you catch any delight or self-consciousness.

Think of giving compliments as planting seeds. The more you plant, the more luscious fruit you will reap. After one week of your new complimenting habit, re-evaluate exactly how you want your man to respond to your fashion choices and how you look. Then tell him kindly and directly how his words make you feel. If you don’t need all your complimenting from him, he just may surprise you!



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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Daphne wrote Mar 21, 2009
    • Equally as important as your points is,
      RECEIVE A COMPLIMENT WITH GRACE .  

      When i was in my early 20’s, a co-worker complimented how i looked one day.  I simply said, “Thank you!” and smiled.  He stopped me, looked me straight in the eye and told me, “Thank YOU.  I love paying a compliment to a woman who will simply accept it...no rebuttal, no argument.”

      Point taken and never forgotten!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Darla5 wrote Mar 21, 2009
    • Daphne, that is great advice.  Thanks for sharing. !



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Coachmombabe wrote Mar 21, 2009
    • I compliment strangers all the time, I can’t seem to stop myself! If someone is wearing something I find attractive or intriguing, I just have to tell them! I wait until I’m a little more familiar before I will say something about skin, hair or eyes, but I just love telling others how lovely they are! Their reaction just makes my day!

      Daphne, I had to learn that the hard way. One day someone asked me why I was always so hard on myself and never let someone bless me in the form of a compliment. I purposed then to learn to receive them gracefully.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Cynthia Schmidt wrote Mar 21, 2009
    • I love to compliment other women, especially when they‘re with men who appear to be jerks. I’ll walk right up to her, compliment how pretty she is, pretty smile, hair, clothing, and then I turn to the guy and say, “don’t you feel like a lucky guy to have such a lovely woman with you?” Sometimes I get a smile out of him, sometimes a stupid look but the woman always gives me a knowing little smile.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Inakika wrote Mar 21, 2009
    • Touche‘, Cynthia!



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Mztracy wrote Mar 21, 2009
    • i love to compliment others!!

      As for me, i do not really think about it much!! estatic



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jacquie6363 wrote Mar 21, 2009
    • A day doesn’t go buy that I don’t get a compliment, just today at church, got lots of it.  My hubby compliments me everyday, and every minute if he could.  

      I am very big on giving compliments and always rise to the occasion whenever it is due, whether it is a total stranger, family or friend..and yes, you better believe that I do compliment myself, not out of conceit, but because I am worth it.



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Doreen XoXo wrote Mar 21, 2009
    • I love giving and receiving.  Its an equal opportunity thing!!  

      xoxo



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Deanna Moon wrote Mar 21, 2009
    • Great advice. As for me, I always compliment strangers, and get a smile and a thank you each time, making me feel good, cause I made them feel good too.  It’s also an ice breaker at parties when you only know one or two people and you wanna click with the girls, or when you wanna pick up a hot studly guy..or just meet people..In fact it can help in lots of ways, expanding your horizons and friends...and boosting your ego, and theirs..We all need a little ego boost..Cheers..



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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Catherine Behan wrote Mar 21, 2009
    • Thanks everyone for your thoughtful comments. Daphne, I love your story.  Point well taken indeed.  Once, many years ago a friend said to me...“Don’t you steal my blessing!” when I sruggled to accept her kind words to me.

      Cynthia and Jacquie, thanks for your words too. Nice to get a wave of compliments going!

      You are all sure looking good!



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