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Trust is the main ingredient to our SUCCESS! Trust in ourselves and trust in others.

Trust in ourselves comes with the affirmation of others as we overcome anti-affirmations we may have been subjected to in the past. It also comes as we complete important tasks, attain new goals, accomplish our dreams and gain the respect of others.

Trust in others is a process! It is rare that it comes instantaneous upon meeting someone the 1st time. Trust is part n’ parcel of gaining credibility with others. As we trust ourselves more, we’ll be more transparent. As we are more transparent with others, they’ll perceive us as ‘authentic’ women they can trust. And as we behave & do in the same manner as our words - trust grows.

I’m beginning the Stephen Covey (Jr) book “The Speed of Trust!” I can tell from the chapter headings that much of the early ‘stuff’ in the Covey book is ‘stuff’ we’ve discussed here. It’s also the ‘stuff’ that constitutes our networking model - ConnectWorkingtm!

I’ve been suspicious of speedy trust! I’ve been one to instantly trust someone with whom I feel a level of ‘connection‘. Oftentimes I learn - too late - that my trust was ill-placed! The next time, I come out of the starting gate with my suspicious nature on full display. And that nature is not conducive to rapidly turning a connection into a relationship without some effort on my part!

I suspect that when I delve in Covey’s book, I’ll find that 2 of the strongest ingredients of the “speed of trust” will be authenticity & transparency! In fact, I’m quite sure of it. When we encounter someone I refer to as comfortable in their skin, I’m immediately drawn to them - male or female. There’s an aire of authenticity about them that permits me access to their personhood. No masks; no pretenses; no phoniness!

That authenticity flows from a willingness to be transparent with those about them. Folks who have acquired this ‘knack’ are the most comfortable folks to spend time with. There’s no hidden agenda or ulterior motive. They are who they are - regardless of the circumstances, environment or atmosphere. And while they may come off ‘polished’ or sophisticated, they do because. . . . well that’s who they are!

It’s easy & natural to see why folks who reach this level in life are easy to trust! We don’t have to search for anything when with them. They lay it out before us without our ‘digging’ or even asking!

How do we get there? That’s the question I’ve been asked many times in my former life as a “therapist“. And my answer never totally satisfies.

It’s the maturation process! It takes time & sometimes it takes the counseling process to get us there. It often depends on the content & context of our growing up years. Even those of us who had a good family life can come out with ‘wrinkles’ that need to be smoothed by introspection in the company of a professional objective outsider.

And such a chapter in our life journey can and often leads to the accomplishment of trust in self; trust in others & others trust of us.

If we are going to SUCCEED - however we’ve defined SUCCESS for ourselves - we have to reach a point in life where we are comfortable in our skin. And we must also begin to offer a wee bit of trust to others. Finally, we have to mature to the point where we are authentic & transparent - even when we ‘screw up’ in our dealings with others who’ve come to trust us. Trying to cover our “messes” with varnished truth will only lead to more distrust down the road.

So over the next several days, I’m going to explore “Trust” as the main ingredient in our achieving the SUCCESS we want. And I’ll try to read a few pages of “The Speed of Trust” so I can share Covey’s thoughts as well as my own.

In the meantime. . . tell yourself you‘re ‘trustworthy’ & believe it. And tell others the same thing. “Affirmations” of this nature will only lead us to behave according to our words.

Have an awesome Saturday with loads of leisure,

Linda, a fellow traveler
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Member Comments

    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Feb 21, 2009
    • Just exactly what I need to hear today - I am struggling with Trust, esp. this moment.  Thank you for being the angel.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Linda S Fitzgerald wrote Feb 21, 2009
    • Chinadoll - I'm glad to have been the "moment" you needed today.  I've doing an entire blog series on "Trust" this next week at our site - [Link Removed] 

      Lf@awomensplace, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Jenz ~ wrote Feb 21, 2009
    • I can honestly say that I’ve always felt free to be who I am regardless of atmosphere, who people are, situation, agreeing/not agreeing with the group, etc etc etc.
      I’m just me. I’m the same person whether or not you happen to be in the same room, if you know what I’m saying?
      I’m very, very big on loyalty, trust, honesty, friendship, respect & being who you are. I’ve been let down quite a few times b/c unfortunately there are many people who don’t have that same integrity for whatever reason. I suppose that’s just part of life.
      As for trust though, without it, what does one really have that’s real?

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    • 0 votes vote up vote up

      Gottagorightnow wrote Feb 22, 2009
    • Interesting subject, thank you for writing about it. I haven’t thought about the subject in a long time.  In my 20s I used to take people at face value, you know .. believe they are who they tell me they are.  I’d still like to be open enough to do that, but after so many “live and learn” experiences, I guess I too have unfortunately (?) developed a certain amount of suspicion, even if not a lot.  But, I believe that in the long run, no one can really hurt you more than you are willing to accept the hurt...

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