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  • Let's Talk Politics! Controversial or Crucial?

    Posted on Sunday, May 11, 2008 in Other

    POLITICAL DIALOGUE SHOULD WE AVOID OR EMBRACE IT?

    By: Susan Haley

    Friends gather for a dinner party. The extended family plans the annual reunion picnic. A local community group sponsors a social hour for singles. A social website geared to reaching a large audience of women is launched. The word goes out, if but subtly . . . avoid political rhetoric. It seems to be one edict that garners instant understanding. My question would have to be why? Why should folks avoid discussing the one subject that affects every citizen of the entire Planet? The answers seem to run the gamut from ‘set in our beliefs to the point of volatility to no opinion on the matter one way or the other’. I don’t know which is more damaging, rigidity or apathy.

    Admittedly, when meeting new people, I too, tend to shy away from the somewhat taboo subjects of politics and faith, but I’m always relieved when the barriers seem to dislodge. Titillating conversation about relevant issues revitalizes the energy in me. How else are we going be educated, aware of other perspectives, and learn to solve the problems that determine our lives and the collective lives of future generations?

    Women, especially, should be encouraged to think and speak about the issues and current events affecting them. For generations women were not even allowed to utter an opinion or cast a ballot. We should be celebrating the fact that currently there are more registered women voters than men. What good is the voice of representation if we don’t feel free to discuss or even speak out, vehemently if necessary, concerning the issues? If one makes it a point to be well-informed, one can be vehement without being rude. Moreover, it’s our responsibility to do so. Our fore sisters fought hard to obtain us these rights.

    Existing world conditions ranging from a Planet in peril, globalization in cultures and trade, an ever-rising population on a sphere of limited resources, attaining a quality education and affordable healthcare, to putting gas in the car and food on the table in a, at best, questionable world economy demand that we take a serious look at the world outside our ‘box’. It requires that we consider all possibilities by learning and thinking about the problems facing us and then discussing them rather than being guided by the news media, the political pundits and spin masters, or the edicts of one political party on no more of a basis than “my family has always been a this or a that.” Perhaps the political and social ideals and strategies which were applicable in the twentieth century no longer suffice.

    Presently, I am reviewing a book for one of my columns which is a compilation of newspaper articles written over a span of ten years by Rich Brooks, a Sarasota newspaper editor who in 1995 was stricken with ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s disease. Now, well beyond the time he was expected to live and with the aid of a laptop computer and an infra-red switch that allows him to scan the alphabet, Mr. Brooks continues to write his award-winning column despite being confined to a wheel chair and hooked up to a ventilator, a most laborious undertaking. What an inspiration this man is, but I digress.

    On June 6, 1998, he wrote a column titled “Kids, Guns Pose Hard Questions and Decisions”. What struck me about this column editorializing a local school scare when a ‘threat’ was made is that it was written before Columbine, before Virginia Tech, and before NIU. Obviously, the questions weren’t asked and the decisions weren’t made. We, as women, really need to, and can, change that.

    I immediately noticed on my first visit to the “Fabulously 40” website there is an already established political group. I was astonished that it only had four members in this, an election year that is making history! Well, it has five members now. Can we talk? Oh, by all means . . . yes, we can! Maybe, I’ll see you there.



  • A Mother's Day Heartbreak

    Posted on Sunday, May 11, 2008 in Relationships

    My mother-in-law has Alzheimer’s. Alzheimer’s is a disease that destroys brain cells, causing problems with memory, thinking and behavior severe enough to affect work, lifelong hobbies or social life. Alzheimer’s gets worse over time, and it is fatal. Today it is the seventh-leading cause of death in the United States.

    I understand there are different stages but I don’t know what stage my mother-in-law is in. At 88-years-old, she can still get around although it’s obvious she is getting weaker. She’s had several falls at the Assisted Living Facility but is too stubborn to use the walker provided.

    Despite the fact that Nate (her son and my husband) and I visit her regularly, I don’t believe she has any idea who we are. We are friendly faces that come to visit her. We laugh with her and listen intently as she tells some of the same stories over and over and over again. Her short term memory is shot but she can vividly describe things from her childhood.

    Today as we sat in the dining area, I kept looking at my husband and, somehow, felt his pain. Across from him sat the mother who raised him. But in many ways she was a complete stranger. Yes, she was the mother he remembers working as a nurse, while maintaining the household. She could bake the “best” biscuits and was meticulous about a clean house. She was also a mother with a kind heart and spirit. She was also the mother who uprooted her children from an alcoholic, philandering husband and moved them to a different location for a better life. He owes her everything for her commitment to his upbringing.

    Even though he puts up a good front, I know it can’t be easy to watch his mother in this state of mind. But she is still his mother and it’s obvious how much he loves her and has vowed to take care of her—- even if her other children refuse to help out.

    Every day becomes precious when you’re affected by someone with Alzheimer’s. Even though this is a Mother’s Day my mother-in-law won’t remember, it’s a day her son will never forget.



  • Support Carmel Valley Resident in Picture of Health Competition

    Posted on Sunday, May 11, 2008 in Other

    PREVENTION & ABC NEWS NOW ANNOUNCE
    FIVE FINALISTS IN “PICTURE OF HEALTH” CONTEST
    San Diego, CA, Woman Among Finalists
    Vote at www.abcnewsnow.com/pictureofhealth By 5/31/08, Midnight, ET

    NEW YORK, NY, MAY 1, 2008–-One woman lost a whopping 200 pounds and now works as a certified personal trainer. Another suffers from MS and runs marathons. Both are among the five finalists selected by Prevention and ABC News NOW in the second annual nationwide contest to find the woman over 40 who best embodies the “Picture of Health.” The five women were announced today on ABC’s Good Morning America and are profiled in the June issue of Prevention. Viewers can learn about each finalist and her charity, watch her submission video and cast votes for their favorite at: www.abcnewsnow.com/pictureofhealth and at www.prevention.com/pictureofhealth. Voting closes Saturday, May 31, 2008, at midnight, ET. The winner will be announced on Good Morning America in early June and appear in the September issue of Prevention. She will also receive $10,000—a $5,000 prize as well as $5,000 for her charity of choice.

    “This year, we received so many entries that really touched our hearts. We found wonderful women who have dedicated themselves to helping people lead healthy lives and others who have overcome great obstacles to take control of their health,” said Liz Vaccariello, editor-in-chief of Prevention. “This year’s finalists prove, once again, that the extraordinary is possible, and life only gets better after 40!”

    “ABC News NOW is so pleased to be able to introduce these incredible women to our viewers,” said Jessica Stedman Guff, executive producer, ABC News NOW. “Each one has an incredible, inspiring story to tell.”

    The 2008 San Diego “Picture of Health” finalist is:

    •MaryKay Mullally, 47, San Diego, CA: When sitting at her desk job for 12- and 14-hour days, Mullally would say to herself, there has to be more to my life than this. This desire to find meaning inspired her to sign up for a self-development seminar. In one of her courses, she created a half-marathon training group. What began as a class project became a calling, as Mullally left her position running a software development team and founded Step Up for Life, a beginners’ half-marathon training program for women. Now, four years later, she has led more than 600 women across the finish line and is currently developing a wellness coaching practice.

    To vote for MaryKay go to www.voteformarykay.com



  • The First Step To A Healthier Us

    Posted on Sunday, May 11, 2008 in Fitness

    We all want that healthy slim body that makes us look or feel younger. We see the ads and infomercials pushing the latest miracle supplement or “minutes a day” exercise equipment and, though we don’t really believe it will work, we plop down our coin and wait for the magic to happen.

    Then, disappointed once again, we‘re left feeling like a failure because this “miracle” didn’t work.

    Can we be honest with ourselves for minute? It didn’t take any of us minutes a day to get in the shape we‘re in. We did it to ourselves through poor diet, lack of physical exercise and often a negative self-image. We did to ourselves bite-by bite, day-by-day, slowly over time.

    So let’s banish the words “quick“, “miracle” and “easy” our minds. Let’s commit to taking on healthier lives one step at time.

    In October, 2006, I was at my heaviest weight and so completely out of shape that a half-hour easy exercise routine left me completely wiped out and sore for 3 days. But I committed to the work, committed to taking steps to change the way I eat. Committed to changing slowly, so the patterns stuck.

    Today I am 42# lighter, and have just lost enough fat, and built enough muscle to have a “healthy” body composition for a woman my age. I’m 55, 5‘3” with a slender frame, 122# and 28% body fat. I’m aiming to get number down to 24%, so I still have work to do.

    I’d like to share my journey from the start to wherever I end with you.

    Would you like to join me in getting healtier, step by step?



  • What's Cooking

    Posted on Sunday, May 11, 2008 in Cooking

    I love to cook, I love to bake. Trouble is I have several jobs-paid and unpaid, a family with odd work schedules, grandkids and a very tight budget. Plus I have an auto-immune disease and several other conditions that sometimes make getting a good meal on the table, well, challenging.

    Does this sound exactly like you and your household?

    I’m willing to bet it does. With that in mind, Yana and I have decided a column about healthy, quick and flexible eating would probably be something all of us here on fabulously 40 would like to read.

    So, here I am. My credentials? I’ve had recipes published in 4 major magazines and the Orange County Register. I’ve been able to serve various tastes, food allergies and diet concerns with a good amount of success and now-I’m hoping to “spread” the knowledge and not our perspective middle-age backsides with some handy hints and recipes.

    If anyone has ideas, menus or questions-please send me some private messages! If you’re wondering how to accomplish a certain event in record time and ease, ask!

    This column was created with all of us fabulously 40 and beyond women in mind, without you it will be nothing. With your input-we’ll all learn how to get a great meal on the table quick and easy and with a lot of taste.



  • The Road to Becoming an Ex Smoker

    Posted on Sunday, May 11, 2008 in Self Improvement

    Hi. I quit smoking last week. My last cigarette was on Tuesday April 29th, 2008 at approximately 11:30pm. I am using the Chantix system. I’m going with the 10 week program. I don’t know if anyone else out there is quitting, has quit or is thinking about quitting, I have tried a million times before, but I feel like I really have a shot at it this time with the new Chantix Medication and support system.

    I know smoking is bad for you, I know I’m being a bad influence on my kids (Teenagers), I know all the millions of reasons to quit, but had continued to smoke. What finally pushed me over the edge was I almost was admitted to the Hospital with bad breathing problems. I was coughing up blood (In addition to the horrible chest cold, sinus infection I already had for the previous week.) My Dr flat out said “If you do not quit smoking, you will DIE!” Needless to say, not only did that scare me, but terrified my Husband. I told him, there was no way I could quit and stay quit if he did not quit too. He agreed with me and that day we started the Chantix system and quit smoking. For the rest of that week I carried a half full pack around with me and even went outside at my usual smoke times at home, more out of habit than anything else. This weekend I spilled the beans to the rest of my Family.

    I gave them my prepared speech when I tell them I’ve quit. My speech is basically saying that I am quitting for me and only because I want to. If I do decide to have a cigarette I want no arguments or dirty looks. I am not quitting for you, my husband, my baby, etc. I am quitting for myself. It is purely my decision and if I so decide to smoke again then so be it. I want no pressure. My Dad’s response was to tell me the rules of my smoking. He tried to interrupt my speech 3 times and I told him to just listen. Then right when I’m done he goes into the rules. It really upset me because the whole point of my speech is to not tell me what to do. That I am an adult and I make my own decisions. It really upset me that his first response is to try and take some of my power away from me. I did not get a I’m so glad you quit. I’m so proud of you, or anything, just straight into the rules. Rules which we had discussed a long time ago and I had been following for years (no smoking in the house, in the car with the kids, etc). That was the hardest point for me to not smoke. Whenever someone tells me I can’t do something, then all I think about is doing it. I can’t help it, it’s how I’m hard wired. I felt like he was taking away something great that I’ve done and taking a piece of it from me. Anyway, he cried and apologized to me. We had a long talk about why he feels the need to try and control me and my actions. all better now.

    A few issues. I’ve been eating a lot of candy. Well, sucking on a lot of candy. My teeth have been hurting a bit. I’m working cutting down on that now and have switched to raw fruits and vegetables.

    A side note. I’m amazed at how much people don’t really pay attention to you. I thought for sure everyone would notice I’m not smoking. I went out with my sister (one of my BFF’s) on Thursday. We were together for 4 hours. She didn’t notice. I thought for sure people would notice because every time I light up I hear a comment like, Another cigarette? etc. But nope. I thought for sure my kids would notice that I didn’t smell like or taste like a cigarette, but nope. They said that I could have probably not told them for a month and they wouldn’t have noticed (typical teens).




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