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Proud wife of a terrific guy. Proud mother of two adult children. Grandmother of 2.
Part-time free-lance journalist. I’d love to be a full-time writer.
Hi I saw a reply you made to a question about how to respond to someone that expects you to “get over” the loss of a child.
I lost my daughter a little over 4 months ago in a drowning accident. No one has told me to get over it and I can tell you I never will. It is a horrible thing to live with. Her name is Marilla Shea Smith and she was 17 months old. I cry every day for her.
My question to you is that I want to know how to deal with my 3 year old daughter. I have 6 other children, and they are all struggling with her loss, but Maddie my 3 year old doesn’t understand. She has expressed anger to me worried that Millie (Marrilla’s nick name) has dirt in her eyes being under the ground. She looks for her sometimes when we go places. We recently attended a funeral of an elderly man that died of natural causes. My husband spoke at the funeral so the whole family went, plus we all knew him well. Maddie my 3 year old waited patiently for each of us to view the man in his casket then said “ok now lets go see Millie in heaven” I don’t know how she got the idea we were in “heaven.” Then at the graveside she wanted out so bad to “see Millie.” Maddie and another daughter and I stayed in the suburban because it was cold and she frantically wanted out to see Millie. I told her Millie is in Heaven in the sky so when the soldiers shot their rifles in honor of the man’s military service she wanted to know if Millie just had to die again. She has asked if Millie has a pillow and blanket in her bed(casket). At bedtime one time she has asked me with frustration When will Millie be home!!!??? I try to tell her the best I know how that Millie won’t be home again and we will see her again in heaven and heaven is in the sky and we go there when we die. She turned over with her back to me and said I want you to go out now. I feel like she can’t accept Millie’s loss.
You said you still cry. How do I help her?
Vikki
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