How often does your ex see your children? Do you with hold visits when child support is not paid?

dailyblonde63- I was never married to my son’s father & when we split up a month after my son was born I never took him to court. We settled on our own amounts (always in his favor!) but it was worth it for me just to keep peace. I did not want my son growing up with two parents that are hostile to each other. I would rather be the one who bends over backwards for my son’s sake. (Also I could have managed at the time without his money at all, but I know that’s not the point. I know they need to do their fatherly duty.)  My son’s father and I got along fantastically through the years until I got married 3 years ago & then moved out of state a year later with my husband. I have not seen a penny of child support from him since & his theory is “why pay for him if I don’t see him much“. I guess he thinks that his son only eats when he’s with him!!!! Well I have lost all respect for him now but I will not take him to court because it will just be a big hassle for me and I know I will not get much out of it. He owns a business & knows how to hide his money well. The first year we moved out here I spent $1800 for my son to home school so he could fly back and forth to see his dad when ever his dad wanted him. Not one phone call in that year asking if he could fly him out!!!!!!!!!  We have had 3 trips back to Chicago since we moved to Phoenix in Oct. 2006 & I paid for the first 2. I let him go to see his father because I can’t punish my son for what his dad has done. This last trip though I put my foot down and told his father that either he buys his ticket or he does not see him. My parents were going to buy the ticket if his dad didn’t & so my son would stay with them the whole trip instead. Well his dad actually broke down & paid for 1/2 of the ticket and my parents paid for the other 1/2 & I told my son that he could decide what days he wanted to stay with who. Out of the 2 weeks that he was in Chicago, he only stayed with his dad for 4 days. His dad hasn’t complained but I hope he realized what kind of affects his actions have had on his son. When we did live in Chicago his dad only saw him on Sunday’s until he started taking him for over-nights when he was 10. My son is now 15 and loves his dad but is not comfortable being at his dad’s house for a long period of time. His dad has made it a place for him to visit and not like a second home for him. I wonder often what kind of relationship my son will choose to have with his dad when he is an adult.

Angel….if you‘re entitled to see your children, then I would try like hell to make it happen. Some situations are easier than others…and withholding visitation for any reason other than a violent or unstable parent is wrong.

I wish you the best.

I’m newly separated and my son is only 18 months old.  Despite having to leave because of unfavorable conditions, I have never will I ever withhold visitations.  My son should not be put in the middle of an adult situation.  Although it was rough in the beginning because of the animosity between my husband and me, we were both able to come to our senses and be friendly towards each other and keep the lines of communication open for the sake of the child.  Hopefully things will stay that way.     Nadine