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    1 posts, 1 voices, 544 views, started Jan 5, 2009

    Posted on Monday, January 5, 2009 by Denise Richardson


    • Diamond


      Argument (ar*gyou*ment):n.
      A discussion that occurs when you‘re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet.

      Airhead(er*head): n.
      What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a Police Officer.

      Bar-be-que(bar*bi*q): n.
      You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up - but he “made the dinner.”

      Blonde jokes(blond joks):n.
      Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

      Gotta get married in a church.

      Clothes dryer(kloze dri*yer):n.
      An appliance designed to eat socks.

      Diet soda(dy*it so*da):n.
      A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

      The last two minutes of a football game.

      Exercise(ex*er*siz): v.
      To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

      Grocery list(grow*ser*ee list): n.
      What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

      Hair dresser(hare dres*er): n.
      Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again.
      See “Magician.”

      Hardware store(hard*war stor): n.
      Similar to a black hole in space - if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.

      Childbirth(child*brth): n.
      You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say, “focus....breathe...push...”

      Lipstick(lip*stik): n.
      On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

      Park(park): v./n.
      Before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere and neck.” After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

      Patience (pa*shens): n.
      The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.
      See also “tranquilizers.”

      Waterproof mascara(wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah): n.
      Comes off if you cry, shower or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

      Valentine’s Day(val*en*tinez dae): n.
      A day when you have dreams of a candle light dinner, diamonds and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

      Author Unknown


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