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  • After Divorce Starting at poverty level with 2 children

    7 posts, 7 voices, 3557 views, started Jun 5, 2010

    Posted on Saturday, June 5, 2010 by Johanna Lynch




    • Amethyst
      Offline

      I had to seperate from my husband because of physical abuse. I NEVER expected to be living with my mom, having to give two of my 4 children (6total). to their father. When we first seperated He was ordered to give me a good amt of spousal/child support. I went to school at night for 3 years to get my associates degree in business specialties -paralegal. My husband got a $45.00 WC claim check and did not pay the bill or mortgage. He got away wit it because at the time my son broke his femur bone and I had to take careof him myself 24/7 so I had to let alot slip  by. But with is support and me working full time s a paralegal, I would be able to keep my house and car and makeit on my own. Well. He got laid off and child support got lowered and I came up wiith a sever back injury and couldn’t work at all. My car, my house and all of my posessions went. When the electricity went out I had no choice to move in wit my mom. I bring in 1000. per month and that wont get me a room let alone a home for my children. My husband joind the US National Guard and is now over in Iraq (by choice)leaving me with these two children to find a home for.
      Besides that, I lost my identity. I used to be very good looking but now I’m 20 lbs overweight my teeth need fixing. I do not want to be alone all of my life. I want to have a companion eventually.  I do not know where to start.  I am smart, fairly good looking but I have a way to go to be where I want to be. I’m 45. Any suggestions or experience. I would love some advice I NEED HELP VERY MUCH. I lost my social life and I don’t talk to my friends anymore. I’m at a bottom. I don’t drink or party and I have a lot of potential but NO GUIDANCEfrownfrown





        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Momofthreeprincess wrote Jun 5, 2010
        • I am looking at the same boat.  After twenty-five years of raising kids, I am getting out of my marriage too.  My divorce should be final in the next few weeks.  There are programs out there for women who have children.  There are also county programs and state programs.  You do have a degree in paralegal so you have a good start there.  Check with you local county offices and see what you can do.  I for one will be looking into a program for people that have no job skills and can’t find work.  My friend is already in the program and is going to school to be come a chef, all paid for through grants and scholarships.  Check them out see what is our there.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jun 5, 2010
        • I agree, look into programs for single women with children. but another thing, the military takes dead beat dads very seriously. They will garnish his wages and give you your child support and there’s nothing he can do about it. See if there’s some low or no cost legal help for you and get the National Gard involved in this.

          Best of luck to you.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jersey Josie wrote Jan 17, 2011
        • I have been living with both my parents and 2 children for the pass 3 1/2 years and I know how hard this is.  I know how you feel. I made a mistake by not facing the reality of my new life. I went back to school but did not finish. I have not saved a penny and live check to check. No one knows it. Everyone thinks I have everything under control. I haven’t but with the help of a good therapist and friends I am getting back on my feet. I am looking for a job and went to apply for low income house and will finally be living in my own home with my children in March.
          I know it’s hard but I have a friend that kept telling that this was a temporary situation - it didn’t feel that way until I believed it myself.I also found out that you can’t always do it all alone you need to ask for help. Will keep you in my prayers.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Sonya Yount wrote Sep 6, 2011
        • I am a 41 year old woman with two small children. I too am in the same boat. My husband and I divorced three years ago and he was somehow able to get by paying 40 dollars per month child support although there was a twenty thousand dollar discrepancy in our incomes. Since then I have become jobless after being hurt on the job and unemployment is about to run out. I make about a thousand dollars per month unemployment and child support combined.  There are no jobs around here and I have been hospitalized twice in the past couple of months with ulcers and gall bladder problems. I don’t know what is coming up for me, but I pray a lot. I try to stay upbeat for my kids but it is hard sometimes. I may get to move into my grandmothers house but my mother has not been very supportive so far. That house has set empty for almost a year now. Hopefully I will get to move in and save some money for my own place. I may not have helped much, but you are not in the boat alone. You are in my prayers.

          Sonya



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Richardson wrote Sep 6, 2011
        • Hello Ladies,
          I read all the replies to this post as well as the question at hand. I currently am on my second marriage with no children from this union, but os have kids from my first marriage but they are grown adults and on their own, but I would like to share with you all, that I too had to deal with raising my two daughters alone without their father and barely his support until child support kicked in. Ladies it is tough out here trying to raise your kids let alone without a dad present as well as without the adequate funds. I just wantto be a voice of encouragement to you all who are dealing with this and like someone did say use all the resources available to you to help you care for your children finanacially. Take those dead beat dads to court, use the military to get what you need for those who have men in the military, do try to do this on your own you didn’t make them on your own so their dads should be made to pay up!

          My girls were 7 & 11 when I left their dad and I had to be seperated from them for a little over a year until I got myself together and it was so hard, all I had was a job, but no car, or a place to call home but God! I did it! and you can too! I would like to advise you to steer away from all negative people who will down you and or not have anything helpful to help you to gain what you need for you and your children. Prayer changes any situation so start there first and foremost! Keep the faith and trust God will make a way out of no way, He is NOT a respector of person if you can believe that! My prayers shall be with you all.XOXOXOXOXheartheartheartheart



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote Sep 7, 2011
        • Amen Neicy!



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