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  • Alone in a Small Town, I Stick Out Like a Sore Thumb LOL!

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    10 posts, 8 voices, 1392 views, started Jun 1, 2012

    Posted on Friday, June 1, 2012 by Lilmsmoonbeams




    • Amethyst
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      Well, I’ve recently moved from the West Coast/California to a small Midwestern town....I kinda stick out...I am biracial,fifty plus, outgoing, well read/educated, a very open loving heart/spirit...I’m a Hippie Bohemian type woman and have tried so hard to smile at everyone, say hello, start conversation, not overbearlingly so, but just enough to know that I’m sincere.
      Well, I’ve made one sorta friend through an acquaintance, but she still works and I’m retired. Sigh. Where is everyone. I dare not put a friend request in a local free paper as we know what that brings lol !
      So, come one come all, chat me up...but truly I do ask, why is it so hard to make friends, even if we are different without the same interests, a friendly hello would be so welcomed..alas nothing is forthcoming. Any suggestions ?
      Hugs and Peace to all !

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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote Jun 2, 2012
        • Well first off...... Welcome to Fab40!!!!!!

          I think it depends on what part of the Midwest you are in makes a difference. Not all parts are the same. I’m from Michigan (considered the Midwest) but there is nothing small town about it. And of course coming from Cali everywhere may seem behind to you.

          Here are some suggestions I got when I moved south....

          Join a book club
          New neighbors.org
          Volunteer
          Join a church
          Walking club/ gym
          Join cooking classes

          I tend to be a bit reserved so breaking through those inner circles is harder. But on the other hand I wasn’t looking for people to keep me occupied all of my time. So I have made a few friends and we get together when time permits for us all.

          What are you really looking for? What types of friendships? People to just stay busy with?



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tuliplady wrote Jun 2, 2012
        • Welcome to Fab 40. happy

          As a small town, Midwest person myself, I can tell you that we look with suspicion on anyone who comes from California.  

          Folks from out there often can’t handle the North and leave as fast as they can, so there’s usually no point in getting to know them.  It also often happens that people who move to a more rural area from the city start complaining a lot about the lack of things to do, about the smell of the hog farm, and so on.  

          I’m not suggesting that you will do any of these things, I’m just saying Midwesterners have reasons for being the way they are.

          Best advice I can give you is to join whatever church you feel comfortable with and get involved there.

          Tulip



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tuliplady wrote Jun 2, 2012
        • Oh, and do come hang out here on Fab 40 and keep us posted on how it’s going. happy

          Tulip



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cynthia Schmidt wrote Jun 2, 2012
        • I agree with Vikki and also with Tulip. I’m from California too, but we live in Hawaii and everyone’s pretty friendly here. Our problem is, the economy is so bad that people here need to work long hours or more than one job to make ends meet. Everyone’s too busy to socialize I guess. I have a handful of friends and for that I’m very grateful.  

          I like Vikki’s idea of joining organizations or groups that match with your interests. Also, if you have a community college you could take a class. You could volunteer somewhere. Anything that would put you in the midst of a lot of people. Then you will find your niche and make some friends.

          Keep us posted. Let us know what works for you.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tuliplady wrote Jun 2, 2012
        • Another thought, you say you are the hippie bohemian type, so go where those types of people hang out.  Farmers markets, flea markets, etc.  I’ve always found farmer’s markets are great places to just meet people.

          Tulip



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Linda L wrote Jun 2, 2012
        • Hi!  Welcome to fab40! The ladies above have given you good suggestions.

          I’m Asian American and live in Seattle.  Hope to see you around. estatic

          Linda



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Susan Sims wrote Jun 2, 2012
        • I so understand where you are coming from! I am a really shy person. I have lived here for five years and still don’t know alot of people. I have a hard time trusting people and don’t/can’t open up to people like I should. I do feel for you, and understand how you feel. Good luck to you, and if you need a ear I am here. Blessings!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Missbeauty wrote Jan 21, 2014
        • I can relate to all of you. I was born and raised in Manhattan of New York City. I have been living in Howard Beach, N.Y. for two years. I live in a residential area. It becomes lonely, I do not know or have any friends here. I am the same way, I have a hard time trusting people do to my past experiences.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Richardson wrote Jan 22, 2014
        • estatic Hello and welcome we‘re friendly here.



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