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  • And that's when the fight started.....

    +5
    Love it
    14 posts, 13 voices, 984 views, started Jun 19, 2009

    Posted on Friday, June 19, 2009 by Chopperbird

    •  



    • Amethyst
      Offline

      One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.  

      The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift.  

      When she asked him why, he replied,  

      “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”  

      And that’s how the fight started.....    

       ******************************************************

       My wife walked into the den & asked “What’s on the TV?”    

       I replied “Dust“.    

       And that’s how the fight started.....    

      ******************************************************

      A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.      

      She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,  

      ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’    

      The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’    

      And that’s how the fight started......    

      ******************************************************
      My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.  

      She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.    

      I bought her a scale.  

      And that’s how the fight started.....    

       ******************************************************

      I asked my wife, ‘Where do you want to go for our anniversary?’    

      It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.  

      ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ she said.    

      So I suggested, ‘How about the kitchen?’    

      And that’s when the fight started....    

      ******************************************************

      My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" in bed,

      I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have sex?’ ‘No,’ she answered.  

      I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’    

      She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying ‘Yes.’    

      So I said, ‘Then I’d like to phone a friend.’    

      And that’s when the fight started....    

       ******************************************************

      When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.    

      So, I took her to a gas station.    

      And that’s when the fight started.....    

       ******************************************************

      I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.  

      Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.  

      I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.    

      And that’s when the fight started.....  

        ******************************************************

      My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,   and  

      I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.    

      My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’  

      ‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend.    

      I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those  many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’    

      ‘My God!’ says my wife. ‘Who would think she could go on celebrating that long?’    

      And that’s when the fight started.....    

      ******************************************************

      +5
      Love it


      •  



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