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  • can I have my feelings

    Love it
    2 posts, 2 voices, 1221 views, started Dec 15, 2010

    Posted on Wednesday, December 15, 2010 by Jennifer Davis

    • Amethyst

      Can’t I express how I’m feeling without someone butting in saying the most stupidest things like “don’t get upset“, “why you getting stressed“, “don’t worry“, “I won’t let....” and on and on...gosh.  

      All I want to say is I’m annoyed I couldn’t hear the webinar last night, couldn’t hear you on skype.  It’s how I’m feeling....annoyed, fed up, tired.  Can people just let you have your moment of saying what you feel about things and life?!!

      Is it something about me, I get upset, everyone around me either disappears or tells me ‘how I should be‘, ‘what they would do in my situation‘, sick of it.  All I want is to be heard, understood and just to get it out.  Why do I get people telling me what they “know” is best for me.  How do they know what’s best for me, they‘re not listening!!!!!

      All I am saying is “I’m really annoyed this thing happened“, but what people here is ‘she’s stressing out, upset, in a bad mood.  I’m not in a bad mood.  Life is handing me some heavy stuff right now and I am really doing my best, handling every single one of them.  But every once in a while I get weighed down by it all, let me have my moment, please....

      Once I get it out, that’s it, over.  I move on and get on with what needs doing.  I don’t re-live it or make it eat away at me.  I don’t carry the baggage, once it’s out, it’s out.  gone.  I’m so very tired of meeting people who want to tell me “what’s best for me” in any situation. Thank you, but you don’t.  When I tell you this in, you get annoyed because I won’t take your advise.  Sorry, didn’t ask for advise!!!  Don’t give it.

      Hear me is what I want you to do.  Just hear me.  I’m having a rough time of it right now...just let me off load a that OK?

      I can’t be dealing with egos, I really can’t.  No matter how well meaning.  You want to be right and make me wrorng.  You phoned and upset my day..

      When it’s the other way around, I’m there.  I listen, I allow you to express it anyway you want.  I don’t judge, I don’t give advise, I don’t give you “my point of view” on your situation and how you should handle it.  That isn’t what you want me to do...that isn’t why you’ve seeked me out, so why then when I come to you for same, I get the opposite.. I just can’t win.

      In the end it was about you saying what you wanted to say rather than listening to me and hearing what I had to say...

      Love it

        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Angell Villafañe wrote Mar 14, 2011
        • Jennifer I completely agree with you! Here is something I came across years ago and I love it and I’m sharing it with you. Hope you see this! happy


          When I ask you to listen to me,
          and you start giving advice,
          you have not done what I asked.

          When I ask you to listen to me,
          and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,
          you are trampling on my feelings.

          When I ask you to listen to me,
          and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
          you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

          Listen! All I asked was that you listen,
          not talk or do – just hear me.

          Advice is cheap: 25 cents will get you Dear Abby and
          Billy Graham in the same newspaper.

          And I can do for myself; I'm not helpless.
          maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

          When you do something for me that I can and need to do
          for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.

          But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and get about the business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling.
          And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and
          I don't need advice.

          Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them.

          Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes, for some people,
          because God is mute, and He doesn't give advice or try to fix things. He just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.

          So, please listen and just hear me. And, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn; and ... I'll listen to you.

          ~Author unknown

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