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  • Companionship: Are we Genetically Engineered to be Coupled?

    3 posts, 3 voices, 1237 views, started Nov 13, 2008

    Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2008


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      Is it human nature to seek out companionship? When I say companionship I mean in the romantic sense. Are we designed to go through life alone or are we genetically engineered to be coupled? The reason that I ask these questions is because it seems that the world, at least from the recently singled perspective, is made up of couples. So how do singles fit comfortably in a world that is predominately coupled?

      If one is not comfortable with who they are it can be difficult to stand alone. I think this is truer for women than men. It seems that men are more comfortable going through life as an individual as women gravitate more toward companionship. Case in point, ever see a women go to the bathroom alone? We can't even do that by ourselves let alone something as big as going to movie or out to dinner alone. What would the world think about a female out on the town alone? Loser!!!! Or at least that is what goes on in many of the single women's mind. Is this really true or is it merely a self imposed prison? I say ladies, let's take a page out of the men's handbook and start getting a little more comfortable in our own skin and take the world by storm!

      This of course is easier said then done, particularly if you are recently single as a result of a divorce or break up from a long term relationship. Many of us are so afraid of being alone we immediately seek out the "perceived" security of another relationship, without stopping to catch our breath and often time end up right back where we were before, heart broken and alone. So again I ask the question, what is a newly single person to do in a coupled world? Celebrate!!!

      Take this opportunity to get reacquainted with your hopes, dreams and desires. It is too easy to loose oneself in a relationship. Now that you are no longer in a relationship you can step back and find out what really makes you tick. In so doing you will be able to find out what you really need in a partner to make you happy. So if you find yourself singled again, don't jump right back into a relationship, rather take the time to hang out with you.

      So how does one get reacquainted with themselves? Well first step is to clear your calendar so that you have time to spend with you. I know for me, when I was hiding, I filled my calendar up so full that I never had time to be by myself. Being alone with nothing to do, terrified me. Now I rejoice in some free time to hang out with my best friend, me.  Getting to this point was not immediate it took a lot of self evaluation. First thing I did was purchase a journal. Then I purchased Dr. Philip McGraw's – Self Matter's Book – Creating your Life from the Inside Out and started to read. I worked through almost all of the exercises. It was an enlightening journey. After that I started to Map out my Future by writing down all the things I would like to do or experience. These two steps really helped me identify what made me tick and what got me excited.

      From there I was able to really drill down the key characteristics I needed and wanted in a partner. So I broke out my journal and made a list of my requirements for the perfect man. So rather than jumping right into a relationship after I became single, I took the time to get reacquainted with me which allowed me to determine what type of relationship/companionship was right for me. And then I let the universe do the rest.

      So I challenge you to embrace your singlehood, take the time to get reacquainted with yourself then identify what you require in a partner, before you jump head first into another bad relationship. Take control of your future, don't let it take control of you and before you know it you will be going to the movie or out to dinner alone and loving it; and rather than "needing" a partner in your life you will be "enjoying" a partner in your life.

      If you want support in getting reacquainted with yourself, then I encourage you to download my "Getting Reacquainted with You" [Link Removed] ebook and get reunited with your best friend, you!

      Divorcecoach, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 13, 2008
        • Look at the animal kingdom, in nature animals are coupled, and I think its human nature to want to be touched and held and loved by another individual.  

          As far as being alone and standing alone, I think it depends on the outlook of the person.

          I remember as a child,  I was NOT COUPLED, and had no desire to be coupled.  I was an individual and had fun playing and being myself.  

          I always focus and embrace that inner child when I feel like I want a mate, because, that is what and who I really am.

          When you give yourself to someone as a couple, your concerns are focused on that persons needs as well as your own.

          My answer is in nature we couple.  I think its a natural thing and yes it could be in genetic coding for survival of the species.  

          It always amazes me how a cat can have kittens, and have not teachings on how to care for the kittens, yet genitcally that coding has been given to her.  And she knows exactly what to do when she gives birth to her young.

          Yes genetic coding could play a part, in humans coupling and the mating urges.. (mens excuse Im sure).. HA

          I think that before anyone couples they should be completely comfortable with who they are as an individual and try never to lose themselves in the relationship as its very easy to do.  

          I agree, get reaquainted with yourself.

          I focus on that adventurous child I was and who I am inside as a person.

          Nothing against having a mate.. Its a beautiful thing and special.. but dont let go of who you are in the process.  Ive seen too much of that in my lifetime.

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