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  • Conversations between husband and wife

    +2
    Love it
    9 posts, 8 voices, 1616 views, started Jun 11, 2009

    Posted on Thursday, June 11, 2009 by (華娃娃) ChinaDoll

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    • Diamond
      Offline

      I have to translate this... hope my translation work and yet still preserve the humors...

      丈夫對妻子說︰“為什麼上帝把女人造得那麼美麗卻又那麼愚蠢呢?”
      妻子回答道︰“上帝把我們造得美麗,你們才會愛我們,把我們造得愚蠢,我們才會愛你們。”  

      Husband said to his wife “Why God created pretty women and yet they are so dumb?” Wife answered “God made us pretty women so men would love us; He made us dumb, so we would love men.”

      夫妻二人吃飯時,妻子說︰“你現在怎麼盡挑魚背上的肉吃?記得我們談戀愛時,你最愛吃魚頭魚尾...... ”
      “情況不同了嘛!” 丈夫說︰“現在我的目標是吃魚,當時我的目標是釣魚。”  

      A couple was having dinner.  Wife said “Why nowadays, you eat only the meat from the fish?  Remember, when we were dating, you said you would only eat the head and tails and leave me the good part?”  Husband said “Situation changed now.  My purpose is to eat fish, back then, I was fishing”

      一個男人很怕老婆。
      一天,他老婆又當著客人的面和他吵了起來,並打了他一耳光。為了面子,男子壯著膽子 大吼︰“你敢再打我一下?”
      他老婆毫不猶豫地又打了一下。男子看嚇不住老婆,只得說︰” 既然你這麼听話,我就饒你一次吧。”  

      This man is very afraid of his wife.  One day, his wife argued with him in front of guests.  She also slabbed him on the face.  To save his face of being a Chinese man, he took a deep breath and yelled “Slab me once more?” His wife did not hesitate, slabbed him again.  He realized his yelling was no use, he then said “since you obey me so well, I will forgive you this time!”  

      妻子心血來潮,站在鏡子前仔細端詳,發現自己的臉竟是那樣難看,不禁放聲大哭。
      坐在一旁觀察已久的丈夫說︰“你偶爾照一次鏡子就那麼傷心,那我天天看著你又該怎麼辦?”

      Wife was standing in front of the mirror and fully examine herself.  She cried loudly for she thought she was ugly looking.  The husband was observing for awhile and then said “You rarely look at yourself and now you are said.  How about me?  I look at you everyday?”

      妻子到監獄探望丈夫時問︰“親愛的,你在這里過得怎麼樣?”
      ” 就跟在家一樣,哪兒也不讓去,伙食也糟透了...... ”  

      Wife was visiting her husband in jail.  She asked “Dear, how’s this place here?” Husband said “same as home.. I am not allowed to go anywhere and the food is horrible.”

        

      丈夫回家很不高興,妻子關心地問︰“你遇到不順心的事了嗎?”
      丈夫︰“今天我在公共汽車上拾到200元錢。”
      妻子︰“那應該高興啊!”
      丈夫︰” 另一個乘客也看見了,我和他平分...... ”
      妻子︰” 那你不是還有100元嗎?”
      丈夫︰“回家前,我才發現那200元其實是我自己丟的。”  

      Mr came home unhappily.  His wife was concerned and asked “do you encounter something unpleasant today?”
      Mr. “I found $200 on the bus.”
      Mrs. “You should be happy then”
      Mr. “The other passenger saw that as well, so we split...”
      Mrs. “Then you still have $100.”
      Mr. “After I came home, I realized that was my $200 originally from my own wallet”

      妻子關心地對丈夫說︰“老公,你近來老是說夢話,要不我陪你去醫院檢查一下身體?”
      丈夫驚慌地答道︰“不用,如果醫生給我治好了這毛病,那麼我在家里的這一點點發言權都沒有了!”  

      Mrs. asked with concerned to husband “dear, lately you dream talking a lot.  Would you like me to accompany you to check this out?”
      Husband answered in fear “no need.  If the MD cured my dream talking, then I have no place to vent at home”

      有一個男人跟他一天到晚只會抱怨的妻子來到耶路撒冷渡假。
      在渡假當中,他的妻子突然去世了。
      葬儀社的人跟他說:您可以選擇花$5,000將尊夫人的遺體運回您的國家,或者花$150把她葬在這聖地耶路撒冷。
      那人想了一會兒,就跟葬儀社的人說他要把她運回家鄉。
      葬儀社的人不解地問他說:為何您寧可花$5,000把尊夫人運回家鄉,而不願意將她葬在這美好之地,而且花更少錢呢?
      那人回答:很久以前,有一個人在這裡死了,埋在這裡,過了三天,他又復活了。[聖經記述.耶穌死後第三天復活】
      他繼續說著:我就是不想冒這個險...

      Once, a man complained from day to night about his wife insisted to Jerusalem for vacation.
      During that vacation, his wife passed away suddenly.
      The funeral director told him “You have a choice of spending $5000 to ship her remains home or spend only $150 to have her buried here in this Holy City.”
      He thought for a bit and told the director, he would prefer to ship her body home.
      The funeral director just wondered and asked “Why would you rather spending more money to ship her home than spending less yet she would be in beautiful land for good?”
      That man answered “many years ago.  A man died and buried here.  After 3 days, he resurrected. ... I rather not risking this chance.”

      +2
      Love it


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