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  • First memories,not so good

    10 posts, 9 voices, 764 views, started Dec 30, 2008

    Posted on Tuesday, December 30, 2008 by Lorilyn

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    • Aquamarine
      Offline

      Thinking back to my childhood, I remember being at someone’s house and my Mom threw a sugar bowl at my exstepdad’s head,narrowly missing him,but shattered against the wall behind him. She found out he was cheating on her. I also recall my aunt beating on our front door,screaming obscenities at my mother.We ended up staying at a hotel for safety.aunty has since quit drinking,but the voices still haunt me. There are so many violent memories that I have shut out,thinking about them is like opening a steam valve too slowly and the pressure is building up. Too private to share,and too hurtful to keep shut up.
      There have been many good memories which have helped keep my sanity,and that is probably why I make a point of being extra kind to my own chidlers(bfg speak)I want their flash- backs to be positive,not painful.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote Dec 30, 2008
        • Please know that we are here for you if and when you feel like sharing. Even of you don’t want to speak specifically about your concerns but need a hug we will still be here.

          Peace and Blessings!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 30, 2008
        • Thank you.  I am sure it takes a lot of time to heal yet the wound is deep.  I am also grateful that you are tender to your children.  Some unfortunately will subconsciously or unknowingly carry that in their behaviors.  Bless your heart and soul.  We are hear for you.  (((hugs)))



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Lorilyn wrote Dec 30, 2008
        • happy
          Thanks



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          Mztracy wrote Dec 30, 2008
        • (((((lorilyn)))))
          ty for sharing!



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          UK Girl wrote Dec 31, 2008
        • Thanks for sharing - I know this must be painful but know your amongst friends.



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          Linni wrote Dec 31, 2008
        • we are all here for you!
          (((((( lorilyn ))))))



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jomi wrote Dec 31, 2008
        • lorilyn, thank you for sharing.  I am so glad that you have made it a point to raise your children differently than you were raised.  It’s so sad when abuse goes from generation to generation.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Lorilyn wrote Dec 31, 2008
        • It’s good to have a place to help prevent future domestic violence. My husband has been verbally abusive,but has realized I’m no longer afraid to stand up to him and has been kinder and more patient. The girls have heard too much,but my son has been spared. I refuse to let him be poisoned and have put myself between them when husband gets angry. It should have happened years ago but I wasn’t the strong person I am today.

           Thanks for the words of support :)



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          Holdonloosely wrote Dec 31, 2008
        • Lorilyn, Thanks for sharing. My children were the reason for me to get out. I don’t think kids need to live like that. But some people just can’t get out and sadly the children have to carry this forever. My daughter was about 6 when I was finally free, my son 2. I made the choice to get out when I was pregnant with my son - because this is when it went from emotional to physical, but it still took 2 years with stalking, courts, etc, until he was finally put in jail. My daughter is now asking about the memories she has and wants the full story. I have never talked bad about their father, but because she is of age, I do tell her the truth when asked. I fear she will repeat this, but so far so good. My second marriage is very loving! For this I am grateful to God! Bless you, keep up the strength. Contact me anytimeestatic



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