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  • Help-My daughter is a handful!!!

    15 posts, 11 voices, 1478 views, started Dec 16, 2009

    Posted on Wednesday, December 16, 2009 by Martha Perez Torres

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    • Aquamarine
      Offline

      How do I approach this topic?? My daughter is only 11 and is acting like an adult. Recently it has been a constant battle, argument with her. I am overwhelm and I have question if I am a good mother? I am just ranting-anyone experiencing similar situation and if so can anyone give me some advice.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          UK Girl wrote Dec 16, 2009
        • Honey – join the club we all have rant episodes with children especially as they approach teenager years – a mass of hormones and inability to communicate.
          Have you noticed anything triggering off her arguments or is it just a case of you breathing brings something on?
          On the plus side it does pass honey



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Mztracy wrote Dec 16, 2009
        • Welcome to my world!
          Vicki, I hope it passes....soon!!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          UK Girl wrote Dec 16, 2009
        • I grew up in a large extended family of 10 girls all of a very similar age – I was in the same year at school with 5 cousins and when I was having door slamming, mono syllables etc; I just remembered back .......
          It does pass but I just think its hard as you keep yelling "what's the matter" and they yell back "nothing " and it just goes on .......



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Darlene Sabella wrote Dec 16, 2009
        • Yes, I had the same problem with my daughter, she is so different, and when she was growing up it was to much to handle.  Stay strong, and get into her head.  My daughter is now in her mid forty’s and we barely talk.  This is so painful when they are people, or children grow away from their heart and soul...sometimes we can’t fill that gap, once the gap grows and expands, it get’s harder and harder to reach out.  Take her to a nice resturant for lunch, maybe try a day spa for the two of you.  When my daughter went away at summer camp one year, I remodaled her room.  Good luck my friend.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Martha Perez Torres wrote Dec 16, 2009
        • Thanks for all the comments-today was very hard for me emotionally since we had a moment in which I felt that the girl I was speaking to was not my child. I still become tearful just thinking how hurt I was that my child is so argumentative, challenging I had to step back and shut down because I would not have been able to make sense. When she got out of the car she stood by the window and said sorry-but I am use to her saying sorry and misbehaving. I have been told that it will only get worst as the years go by and I am just freaking out. I am the mean and bad one since I am the disciplinarian at home. Her father is the cool one and I am the OGRE!!! I am very greatful to all of you for taking the time to read and offer advice!!!!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tuliplady wrote Dec 16, 2009
        • Welcome to the wonderful world of motherhood!  My oldest daughter was an absolute BITCH from 11 to about 14.  The yelling and arguing and door slamming....... ugh.

          Today she is 22 and is just a delightful, thoughtful, responsible young woman.  And for the most part, I’m no longer the Ogre in her eyes.

          Hang in there!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Marilyn09 wrote Dec 16, 2009
        • My kids are grown...
          But there is this show on TV. I have seen it on MTV and CMT- its called “the strictest parents” But you know what?
          Its nothing like that. They have random teens moving in with these random parents (that applied for the show)- because their own parents cant handle them anymore. [Link Removed]

          Some of the advise they give is excellent!!!
          I am the adult- you are the child- the reasoning doesnt have to make sense to you- and if you need to scream go to your room and scream.
          Anyway they have loads of advice like that.
          It is awesome


          Marilyn09, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Martha Perez Torres wrote Dec 17, 2009
        • Marilyn i saw part of that show last week- it is helpful. I told my daughter that I was going to send her there for a couple of days!!!! Last night she was more helpful than usual-so I am thankful that something might have trigger her to behave.



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          Martha Perez Torres wrote Dec 17, 2009
        • Tuliplady thanks for the advice and insight- so I have a few more years to go with this issuefrown I pray to God for guidance because yesterday I was questioning why did I have children. I adore them but the twins and her have a very strong temperament and are very assertive. I wasn’t assertive at all with my mom when growing up-what she said was the law and if she told me to jump I would reply how high and did it. Well Thanks for everyone’s inputhappy



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Yana Berlin wrote Dec 17, 2009
        • Consistency is the key. Set your rules for her to follow and don’t deviate.

          You got few tough years ahead, the good news, they grow out of it, and then they love you a lot. estatic

          Hang in there girl.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Betspussl wrote Dec 18, 2009
        • MY OLDEST DAUGHTER IS NOW 22 AND SHE WAS ALWAYS MY HANDFUL.SHE STARTED WITH SOME BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS AT AGE 11.I WENT THROUGH THE ATTITUDES,ARGUMENTS,AND SCHOOL CONFERENCES.THERE WAS A NON-DENOMINATIONAL CHURCH NEARBY THAT OFFERED FAMILY COUNSELING AND SO WE WENT EVERY WEEK FOR 1 HOUR.THIS WAS GOOD FOR US BOTH.WE TALKED ABOUT OUR FEELINGS TOGETHER AND HAD SUPPORT.WE PLAYED BOEARD GAMES THAT HELPED TO CONNECT.SHE MADE ME REALIZE THAT SHE FELT SHE HAD SOME REAL PROBLEMS GOING ON,AND I MADE HER REALIZE THAT I WAS HERE FOR HER AND TOGETHER WE COULD GET THROUGH THIS WITH LOVE AND RESPECT.



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          Martha Perez Torres wrote Dec 23, 2009
        • Thanks everyone for all the support and encouraging words. It is amazing to realize that I am not alone-even though at times it feels that I am drowning and just want to throw my arms up and give up!! You guys are wonderful!!!



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