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  • "Hi, My Son Is Autistic,..."

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    14 posts, 9 voices, 3041 views, started Nov 23, 2009

    Posted on Monday, November 23, 2009 by Encee

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    • Garnett
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      Many times I’ve seen other moms in public with children I recognize as autistic, and I usually go up to them and introduce myself.  “Hi, my son is autistic...” is how I break the ice, letting them know that I understand what that means.  

      Getting around in public can be tricky when you have an autistic child, and at Holiday time it can be even more so.  There are more cars on the road so you may take a lot longer getting where you are going, or be forced to take another route entirely.  Autistic kids may not be happy about that kind of change and it can lead to outbursts in public places, where, also, larger crowds simply make things even more complicated.  

      This past weekend I saw a mom in a supermarket with an adult autistic son, and, to get straight to the point - the boy was ready to leave way before the mom was done shopping.  Seeing her struggle to get him calm, and not make a scene, I waited until her son seemed happier and went over to say hello.  

      Being the parent of autistic child in some ways is like being part of a worldwide club.  We all of us know what it means to live with our child’s oftentimes stubborn insistence on routine, and seeing a fellow parent, even a total stranger, in the same circumstances smile at us and say hello is kind of like saying “It’s okay - I know what you‘re going through” right when we need it most.  

      And, yes, you may have guessed I’ve had that little ray of sunshine shone on me at times as well.  I will always remember a lady I saw at a gas station we stopped at while on a road trip.  My son had spotted a sign for Disney World a few miles back and was not pleased to learn that was not our destination.  He had been yelling “That way!” and pointing back for about an hour.  

      As soon as we got out of the car, everyone around us heard our son.  The woman at the next pump walked over to us, completely unflustered, and said those words that I  now think of as a kind of membership card,  “Hi, my son is autistic.....: and she went on to tell us about her child.   Even after we had gassed up our car, we pulled into a parking spot and continued talking.  It was great to have someone understand!

      I will always remember that lady, and I think I realized that day that this is something we all should do.  Just say a few kind words to a fellow mom who is walking the same road we do.  It might just make her day!

      Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          UK Girl wrote Nov 23, 2009
        • encee - this is such a lovely story .... how old is your son?



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Encee wrote Nov 23, 2009
        • He’s 17.   We knew something was different by the time he was about 3 or so.  Before that he was progressing pretty much in the normal range.  

          Thanks for the nice comment!  estatic



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jo46 wrote Nov 23, 2009
        • Encee thank you for sharing this story with Fab40.  “Kindness is never wasted!”



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          Owlmaria wrote Nov 23, 2009
        • encee, I know how you feel about much of what you wrote. My son had several autistic students in his class when he was in school.
          You‘re right about our being the parent of autistic/special needs child in some ways is like being part of a worldwide club.
          I’ve used the same “ice-breaker” when I’ve seen other Down in public.
          Thanks for sharing and welcome to our club!
          Love ya‘, Maria



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          Zena Coleman wrote Nov 23, 2009
        • Thank you for this group, nobody but those of us who have to deal with adult autistic children could ever understand what each other is going through. zestatic



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          Zena Coleman wrote Nov 25, 2009
        • Robert is 20 he will be 21 in april yesterday his teacher sent him home for screaming and biting his self, I do know how hard it can be to raise a child  that is Autistic but also what joy it is too.



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          Zena Coleman wrote Nov 25, 2009
        • Robert is over 250 pounds people get scared of him fast,although he has no idea the amount of harm he could cause.



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          Encee wrote Nov 25, 2009
        • We all walk the same road, you know....our special kids are angels, perhaps of a different kind, but angels nonetheless! estaticestatic



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          Owlmaria wrote Nov 25, 2009
        • My Grandmother (Momma) told me when I had Daniel, that God only sends his “Special Angels” to parents he knows will be there for them and at times it may be trying on our patience, nerves & sanity but they are here for a reason.
          To teach our world what unconditional love truly is.
          My life has been blessed by my sons & I couldn’t nor do I want to even think about what my life would be like without him/them.
          I have much to be thankful for this year.
          To all my Fabulous 40 sisters who have come to be so much more than I ever expected to find, Thank You for your unconditional understanding.  Maria  xoxo



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          Kimberly Von Holtz wrote Nov 26, 2009
        • I have a son with Aspergers Syndrome, an autistic spectrum disorder. I have raised him for the most part by myself. He is 18 and in his last year of high school.He has had many challenges he has overcome in his life and still more to face. He always tells me he hats having this, but I tell him that everyone has ssomething they need to overcome and sometimes they struggle thier whole life not being able to because they cannot identify what the issue is, and a least we know the monster we need to conquere. It is so hard having a child with autism, but at the same time rewarding. I know that I have grown allot as a person having him in my life and he is so sweet and gentle because of it. Change is never a good thing for him, but we work on finding ways for him to cope. I just worry that life will become too hard for him to bear and one day he will end his. I was warned about the suicide rates for kids with Asperger’s, but we talk all the time about this and he knows that no matter where I am, I will always be there for him. Angie Dickenson (the show “Police Woman” from the 70’s)had a daughter with Asperger’s and took her own life because the world was too cruel. I worry about him and then he does things that makes me go “Wow, you are going to be OK out there.
          This was a good topic to bring up and we, who have chioldren like this, need to lean on each other because support is so hard to find.

          God Bless and hope everyone had a happy Thansgiving.



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