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  • Hope Restored

    4 posts, 4 voices, 535 views, started Oct 8, 2008

    Posted on Wednesday, October 8, 2008 by Sandy Ochoa-West

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    • Aquamarine
      Offline

      Hope Restored

      For years I've longed to be loved, to look into someone's eyes and know I matter, that my feelings are valid
      In the early years of my search I found only heartache, emptiness and shame.
      I did things that made it impossible for me to look at my reflection in the mirror
      Then I watched as all my hopes and dreams of love died a slow death
      Never good enough, always substandard

      Then for a brief moment, my hope was restored.
      He asked God to bless our marriage and for the first time I felt loved and truly beautiful
      But slowly, the liquid poison stole him away and soon he didn't really like anything about me
      The way I talked, the way I looked, the way I cleaned, the way I loved, the way I felt
      Told I wasn't needed or wanted, I knew he would never fight to keep me and if given an ultimatum the poison would always win
      Unable to trust, he laughed at my tears
      Gifts weren't given out of love they were used as weapons to put me in my place
      Never loved for who I am, but what I do and told that if the "doing" stopped he'd be gone
      An anchor in his life, slowly dragging him from his dreams
      Always under scrutiny, his watchful eye just waiting for me to fail
      Not my friend or confidant, my motivation is fear
      Finally giving up the hope of true love and intimacy, I became more comfortable in the company of strangers  

      But then he came, my hope, my Savior, my Jesus
      He longs to spend time with me and patiently waits
      In His eyes I am beautiful, perfectly made just the way I am
      He gives his love freely and only asks for my love in return
      I don't have to do anything to earn it
      He is always there for me, and promises to never leave me or forsake me
      Confident in His love for me, I trust him completely and know that I will never walk alone
      I feel beautiful again and my hope is restored
      My Redeemer lives!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Peejay64 wrote Oct 8, 2008
        • Beauty in your hope, Sassy.  Thanks for sharing this.  I pray for your continued confidence and comfort in your Redeemer and mine.
          ~ Patti



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Dana Arcuri wrote Oct 11, 2008
        • Yes, this was ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!  Jesus is my hope and refuge in this world.  Praise God for our salvation!

          Hugs,
          Dana



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Miche0403 wrote Oct 19, 2008
        • Sassy, thank you. Today I was thinking about what my testimony is, thinking I don’t really have one of any great story, no lightning bolt, no smack down road to Emmaus event. Then I came across your posting. It brought me back to the later days of my marriage and when Christ came into my life. It was like I was reading my testimony. Thank you for reminding me what Christ did for me, how he looks at me with love and celebrates me and celebrated me even when the one person in this world who should have didn’t. You are in my prayers tonight...a very kind woman told me in those days I deserved to be celebrated and not tolerated. I say the same to you. I have been blessed by you today...thank you



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