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  • Hope These Bring Your Frown to a Smile

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    4 posts, 4 voices, 394 views, started Jul 14, 2009

    Posted on Tuesday, July 14, 2009 by Denise Richardson

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      STORY OF ELIJAH  

      The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah
      the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah
      built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it
      upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill
      four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this
      four times “Now, said the teacher, “Can anyone in the class tell me why
      the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?” A
      little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, “I know! I
      know!” she said, “To make the gravy!”  

      LOT‘S WIFE  

      The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and
      turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted,“My Mommy
      looked back once, while she was driving,” he announced triumphantly,
      “and she turned into a telephone pole!”  

      GOOD SAMARITAN  

      A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
      Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She
      described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the
      drama. Then, she asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the
      roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?” A thoughtful
      little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw up.”  

      DID NOAH FISH?  

      A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
      fishing when he was on the Ark ?”
      “No,” replied David. “How could he, with just two worms?”  

      HIGHER POWER  

      A Sunday school teacher said to her children, ” We have been learning
      how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a
      higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?” One child blurted out,
      “Aces!”  

      MOSES & THE RED SEA  

      Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in
      Sunday school. “Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind
      enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt .
      When he got to the Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon bridge and
      all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for
      reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the
      Israelites were saved.” “Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher
      taught you?” his mother asked. “Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way
      the teacher did, you’d never
      believe it!”  

      THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD  

      A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of
      the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters
      a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task—
      but, he just couldn’t remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could
      barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled
      to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous.
      When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,
      “The Lord is my Shepherd... and that’s all I need to know.”  

      Church Smiles  

      There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to
      her brother in another part of the country “Is there anything breakable
      in here?” asked the postal clerk. “Only the Ten Commandments,” answered
      the lady.  

      AMISH BUMPER STICKER  

      While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish carriage.
      The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because
      attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign...
      “Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step
      in exhaust.‘’  

      SUNDAY SCHOOL MESSAGE  

      Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson
      was about. The daughter answered, “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your
      quilt.” Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the
      pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning’s
      Sunday school lesson was about. He said “Be not afraid, thy comforter
      is coming.”  

      Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
      Give me the grace to see a joke,
      To get some humor out of life,
      And pass it on to other folk!  

      *************************    

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