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  • How About A Contract For Us Women!!!

    15 posts, 9 voices, 797 views, started Oct 2, 2008

    Posted on Thursday, October 2, 2008 by Rena Bennefield

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    • Garnett
      Offline

      I am sure there are some of you out there that have had to sign the old prenuptial agreements. So are insulted and hurt by such a request...I didn't mind signing one. Yes there was that small romantic ting that I felt when I signed it...Almost like jinxing the whole thing before it even got started...Well I was just sitting here one day thinking...What is it that women hold in high regard..Ahhhh yes...It would be monogamy, we women want some major security...Something a "Contract" that would hold him accountable if they were to cheat on their wife. I think that cheating can be done in many ways. The contract would have to cover all areas...example...Cheating by phone texting...internet that would include Any and All internet dating sites or any form of instant messaging...These are just a few ways they cheat...Now my thought on this is that they agree to pay a set amount of cash..In a one shot payment...In Full...I would start at about 20 or 25 thousand dollars...Why not!! Money seems to be what most men hold close to their hearts...As we hold the love we have for them close to our hearts..So what you think ladies..get back to me on it.. Kataramoon



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Rena Bennefield wrote Oct 3, 2008
        • Well Hummm.... Ok maybe it was a bad idea..The reason I chose this topic is because a friend of mine was married for 17 years and as far as anyone could see they had a solid thing going on...No nit picking or slamming one another...The typical crap you expect from a messed up relationship...Then one Thanksgiving...Family & Friends all around the table...laughing and talking about who will have the Christmas Party to die for...The husband who by the way was very well off..My friend had signed a prenuptial, with no problem. Then her husband of 17 years of marriage and 3 years of dating prior to marriage...Stands up ...we are thinking ahhhh a toast...Noooooo... He announced that he no longer loved his wife and that he had found someone else (he called her his Soul Mate) and told my friend I filed for a divorce...She was sitting there in shock...quiet little streams of tears running down her cheeks..I could not believe what I had just heard...No one could...Then he left...Just like that...Now I can say out of the 17 years they were together they had accumulated quite a bit of money and material things..so she did get a handsome settlement..but that's not the point...He should have had to REALLY PAY...I did a little pole and asked about 25 or 30 random men ...what if you had to pay 20thousand dollars or more for infidelity...would you reconsider cheating on your wife? Would you look at that woman and say to yourself...Hummm you're sexy and it would be great to check you out...But...You're not worth 20 thousand...Most of them said if they had that kind of price to pay for a (night of fun) or even a possible relationship..They would get out of the marriage before ever making that initial step...Now I will tell you only 2 out of all I asked said they would agree to such a contract...So you tell me what does that say about these other men???Planning on cheating?? What else is there to conclude ... just like a woman who refuses to sign a prenuptial...The first thing they think is..."Oh so you're after my money"... Come on Ladies...What about our rights...Where is our security...With so many ways to cheat these days...why can't we ask for a little peace of mind...You would be shocked to see how some of these "Dating" services work...Go check them out... your man can hook up anytime anywhere...My friend found out that her husband had met his "Soul Mate" on an adult dating service...I felt so bad for her...I did try an adult dating service and there are some who are looking for love..But trust me most are looking for fun...I had stipulated and made it perfectly clear in my profile...I "DO NOT "Date Married Men or Men In Serious Relationships...They "ALL" Lie...So I just deleted my account and said forget this..I know I would not want to find my man with another woman...Sorry so wordy...But she asked me to toss it on the wind and see what other women think...



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          Rena Bennefield wrote Oct 5, 2008
        • **WOOT!!!!!!!  I am soooo happy to hear that...Good for her...Fair is fair... I see nothing wrong in asking for a little Gieco for my heart ....hehehehe



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          Amy L. Harden wrote Oct 5, 2008
        • Kataramoon:
          I think this is also a good idea...and now a days it should go both ways...women are cheating just about as much as the men are today...believe it or not!  The reason why people tend to cheat more often and get away with it is because the majority of states have adopted the no contest divorce or 50/50 divorce no matter what the circumstances are for divorcing.  But then there are states who do cite circumstances, such as adultery as grounds for divorce...though it is very hard to prove...it may be a deterrent to cheating until after the ink is dry on the divorce papers...probably not...the prenup could definitely ensure at least monetary security.  Catherine Zeta-Jones is no dummy...but boy, would Michael Douglas be an idiot to cheat on her, for any reason!  

          My heart breaks for your friend...she is definitely better off without this cad in her life.  I hope she took him to the cleaners...he deserves it!  Good luck to the new “soulmate“.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Rena Bennefield wrote Oct 6, 2008
        • **
          shepherdess5   He is a real ass hat...She did get a nice settlement and all but she is so crushed...She had no idea... He had so many people covering his ass...She found out a lot... he had a credit card he used to take out his new girlfriend, pay for hotel rooms, excreta... he had the bill come to his office so she never seen it. ...a pre paid cell phone so there was no paper trail...He bought clothes that he kept at his office so he never brought home...lipstick on the collar and so on...I honestly do not know what I would have done if it were me.... I know that both cheat it is a sad thing...I have always lived by the rule...If I want someone else...if I no longer love the person I am with...I end it before anything happens...I see no point in cheating...Turn the page and move on... Thanks for the input :)



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cynthia Schmidt wrote Oct 6, 2008
        • My heart hurts for your friend. The way he decided to make his announcement was horrible, inexcusable, absolutely cruel. I just can’t get over the heartless nature of that. Why on earth would someone stand in front of family and friends and do such a thing?

          I just wouldn’t want to be in the vicinity when karma bites him in the A..  Anyone that rotten will eventually get what’s coming to them in a big way. My mom has always been a firm believer in what you put out into the world, you get back. Stand clear when his lightening bolt comes down! there will be casualties.



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          Inakika wrote Oct 6, 2008
        • The ironic part is he will probably leave the other woman as well. Why would she want a man that not only left his wife, but left her in such a fashion.
          I agree with Chocolatier about karma, it will come back and bite him on the ass! And his “soul mate” too. She knew he was married from the get go. They deserve each other!



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          Tori Santos wrote Oct 6, 2008
        • Here is my problem, I have no problems w/ pre nups, nor do I think there has to be one. But I have some issues with todays society. Divorce is just to easy. People go into the marriage thinking well if It doesn’t work, I’ll just get a divorce. So, no one is help accountable for it. What happened to marriage being something you do not enter into lightly you do not just throw it away when things get bad. Don’t think well I’ll just settle I want to get married. My GOD what happened to wanting to be with someone. And I am truly sorry for your friend but is getting any more money out of that SOB really truly going to make her satisfied? I always look at both side of divorce cases and I have seen women taken for everything. My Mo got the bills after she filed for an  un-contested divorce, That was because we moved to a state that says everything purchased while married is considered community property. I have seen another friend make her husband pay for everything refusing to get remarried to the man she lives w/ so the ex who broke her heart has to keep paying. It’s not the prenup contracts or who gets what its the people involved or not as involved as they should have been. We need to take marriage a whole lot more seriously,



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          Rena Bennefield wrote Oct 7, 2008
        • **chocolatier..I agree ...yes... what goes around...comes around...I don’t know why he felt it necessary to humiliate her and destroy her in front of us...It was awful.. But like I said we did not see it coming...She was a awesome wife and she ran for him all day long ...Lets say she kept their home and life like a well oiled wheel...We all thought they were happy...



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          Rena Bennefield wrote Oct 7, 2008
        • yeppers..She knew and as best I can tell from what I have heard since,This person would sit at their little gatherings and laugh at how hurt she was..I hope she takes him to the cleaners and breaks him...



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          Rena Bennefield wrote Oct 7, 2008
        • imistx..Oh I agree...There is no amount of money that would erase that kind of hurt and pain from your heart...She didn’t try for anything she just wanted out...She did sign a pre nup ..So he got whatever he had coming to the marriage...I feel people now days look at Marriage as a business...And if the partners don’t work well together the other gets bought out or they sell out..Yes this society we live in now everything is instant, right now, and very little commitment...Look how we live Drive up windows, cash machines, microwave food, internet collage, No Fault Divorce..What the heck is that...Yes it is someone's fault... I am always amazed when a couple has been married for like 50 yrs...I believe he will reap what he has sown... every evil seed...



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          Shari Tenner wrote Oct 12, 2008
        • I am a firm believer in Karma.  I trust that someone higher and stronger than me will eventually intervene on my behalf for the injustice and millions of text messages and phone  call minutes that my husband and his current internet friend have shared.  I feel that although you‘re friend was so deeply hurt and humiliated Kat, at least he fessed up to his affair and was man enough to move on.  To be constantly lied to and have everything denied is just draining.  Marriage is hard work and sometimes it seems like an uphill battle and that it is just time to wave the white flag, pack up our toys and go home.



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          Shari Tenner wrote Oct 12, 2008
        • SOOOOOOOOO, is internet friendship cheating.  How many woman would consider a secret internet friend an affair?  How many of you out there check your husbands cell phones or internet email accounts?  Do you feel that this is a justified actions and would you do it?  If you found anything there would you contact the other woman?  Just collecting some information for a blog/article on online affairs.  Please post your thoughts.



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