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  • How has sex changed for you in your 40s/50s

    54 posts, 38 voices, 3323 views, started Dec 21, 2008

    Posted on Sunday, December 21, 2008 by VICKY CORYEA

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    • Aquamarine
      Offline

      Do you experience different needs at these ages or have things stayed the same?



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Stephanie Rountree wrote Dec 21, 2008
        • It’s about the same for me.  Still very sexual!  lol



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          Leadinladytracy wrote Dec 21, 2008
        • For me it depends on the stage of your life.  

          Before children I would say very active. When you are pregnant I think it depends on how you are feeling. When they are little I was exhausted.

          Now they are grown - I have my desire back.



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          Kissalicious wrote Dec 21, 2008
        • I’m afraid to answer this my ex-husband might “google” me again!!!
          Oh by the way!! I love sex just not with YOU!! (X-Husband!)
          Was that even the question? Lol!!



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          Tuliplady wrote Dec 21, 2008
        • I’ve always been a very sexual person.  That hasn’t changed over the years.  Turning 40 didn’t change that a bit.  Only change is that DH isn’t physically up to it.  So we do without.  frown



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          VICKY CORYEA wrote Dec 21, 2008
        • personally, I have found my groove once again after leaving a 30 yr marriage. I never knew I could have so much desire!!!



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          Maria Louise Van Deuson wrote Dec 21, 2008
        • I had an extremely high sex drive my whole life until I became menopausal at 38...slowly things have dwindled and I’ve tried everything from lubricants, HRT, DHEA etc. I’m currently trying female libido 3xs a day and HRT. I also exercise like a crazy woman because I figure if I look good and feel good, maybe I can mentally talk myself into it. Problem? I have no desire at all to ‘do IT!’ But once I get started, I have a fabulous time! Female hormones are now non-existent and it really has caused desire and discomfort issues. My husband is 61 and could do it 3xs a day, but I can’t! frown



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          Scorpion13 wrote Dec 30, 2008
        • Not a thing has changed since I was younger. Love it. Want it. Gotta have it. My libido is higher than my husband’s and it drives me f***ing crazy!



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          Kym42 wrote Jan 6, 2009
        • I‘v always loved it but had to be careful about where when and with who because I was a single mom.  Now I am still responsible but I am free to really enjoy it long and slow anywhere and anytime and can really really relax knowing I am not going to have to jump up and help someone do algebra as soon as I’m done.  Sex at 44 is awesome and I don’t see any reason why it isn’t going to continue to get better.  

          In my 30’s I was afraid to say this is what I have been fantasizing about.  Now what the heck... I speak my mind my partner can chose to indulge me or not and I won’t judge him.  I feel that he has relaxed as much as I have.



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          Cat Valentine wrote Jan 7, 2009
        • Always have been more sexual than my partners, no matter what age I was at. But I have always been with older men (at least 10 years). Now; however, my husband of less than a year, is 11 years my junior, and I believe that I have found the ‘one’ who is just as horny as I am!!



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          Tammy Frazier wrote Jan 20, 2009
        • I am having the same problem with my husband. He is very faithful to me and we have an outstanding relationship, but... He has no libido We have sex maybe 1 to 2 times a year. I would be happy with once a month. I am frustrated and I desire him all the time, but I get rejected alot and it hurts, so I get tired of asking. I dont know what to do???



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          Tuliplady wrote Jan 20, 2009
        • prazgrl, has your husband been to a doctor to be checked for various physical problems?

           Part of my husband’s problem is that he has very low testosterone levels, therefore no desire.  This is a treatable condition, they prescribe a patch that they wear and it really helps(of course only if they’ll go get the prescription filled!!)  There’s also a host of other medical problems that could affect your man’s sex drive.



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          Denise Richardson wrote Jan 20, 2009
        • At the age of almost 49 and perimenopausal, I’m still finding that I still have my high sex drive nor do I experience dryness during my transition. Go figure lol!



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          Robinesque wrote Jan 20, 2009
        • Depends.  When it’s good, it’s VERY good, but when I go for spells without, like when my husband travels, I feel like I could do without the rest of my life.tongue out



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          Tammy Frazier wrote Jan 20, 2009
        • Tuliplady, Thanks alot! I will have a chat with him about that. His big problem is we have a lady doctor and he is embarrassed. I think he can deal with a patch. I am gonna see what he can do. I am 43 and I have a high sex drive. He’s killin me!!! LOL



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          Felicia Lewis wrote Jan 20, 2009
        • Bad!!! I have a very low sex drive.



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          Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Jan 20, 2009
        • lol..so am I yvette..so am I...estatic..BTW..Yvette is my middle name...



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          Marie Hempsey wrote Jan 21, 2009
        • Things are much better now than they ever were. It may not be as frequent but there seems to be more of a wholistic connection now. There is alot more passion now, in my 40’s,  than there was before.



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          Jgirl1331 wrote Jan 21, 2009
        • WAY BETTER!
          I am like a teenager..LOL..seriously, I have always had a high sex drive and it’s never changed.  The nice thing is that now I am more confident than I was in my 20’s or 30’s, so I enjoy myself and my partner much more.  My challenge is finding a man my age that can keep up with me!  LOL...



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          Jgirl1331 wrote Jan 21, 2009
        • Bernadette..I luv ya‘!  LOL...a woman after my own heart...



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          Cynthia Cavoto wrote Jan 21, 2009
        • I feel like I’m hitting my prime!



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          Sweetnsassy wrote Jan 24, 2009
        • My sex drive used to be out the roof but now that I’m 45 it’s dropped off considerably. The problem may be those 20 extra pounds I’m hanging on to.  I’m pre-meno as well and those hormones are not my friend!  I wish I had the same desire as my partner because it gives him a major complex when “I’m just too tired“.  There are no children in our house and our relationship is less than a year old—- so we should be doing it like rabbits!!!  Any suggestions for boosting my desire???



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          Cynthia Cavoto wrote Jan 24, 2009
        • Monanalissa,

          I never have either! I love sex, but “orgasms” have always been a challenge for me.  

          you‘re not alone!



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          Lorilyn wrote Jan 24, 2009
        • I’m with the ‘Eh’ group.Not much in the way of libido,but don’t miss it too much.Hubby says l’m not the same as when l was 21.No kidding! Neither is he! he was so buff,played hockey,worked out.nice butt.Now,at 50,he brags about his beer belly and uses his (new) tread mill as a shelf.
          We do have some romantic moments,but not as heated as 20 years ago.(and three kids later,both working full time,3 year old boy,and too much arguing between us)



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          L. Denise Jackson wrote Jan 25, 2009
        • 48goingon10...I am the same way but it was due to my hysterectomy last year before I hit 40.  I just don’t have the desire...and when I do it is at inopportune times and the times are short...they can come and go.

          I just think I am too old to fake it.  And I can identify with the 1 minute or 5.



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          Alex Jung wrote Feb 2, 2009
        • I’m 47 and I have never been so ‘into’ sex.  I’m divorced so perhaps the newness can still be a factor.  BUT...I will say, I’ve never had so much fun with garter belts and corsettes!  Must have missed that class in my 20s!  If I’d only known how sliming a corsette makes me feel...would have a closet full by now!!!  That make sex much more fun for me because I’m less self conscious!  

          Alex Jung  happy



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          Kountrykelly wrote Feb 4, 2009
        • Hi everyone. Just dropped by to leave my comment. I love my husband with all my heart but my sex drive is nothing. I dont have a sex drive and he has an outstanding one. I am 42 and it is getting worse as I get older. Even when I was younger I didnt really enjoy sex. It’s too long, gives me aches and pains all over my body. Also I get way too out of breath and exhausted. It’s like a chore doing it. I pretend to like it but he really knows that I dont. He also has a difficult time getting out of breath too. He has to stop after 15 or 20mins,take a smoke break, then resumes another 15 or 20mins. Oh my gosh,by then Im exhausted. We have done different kind of ways such as lingerie,toys,x-rated movies all the time. Im so immune to that stuff that it doesnt even turn me on. I just want to make him happy and please him sexually. When I was younger I still didnt get in the mood that much, but it is worse now and he wants it all the time. Im talking 2 or 3 times a day. WHEW! tongue outtongue out. We have talked about it many, many, many times. He even likes for me to talk dirty to him. Sometimes it gets very nasty and I not just talking about me and him. He talks about threesomes and foresomes. I just go along with it. Anything to please him. Dont want it though. Just talk to make him aroused. Anyways I thought I would leave my comment here and maybe get some kind of advice. I love my husband dearly and would do pratically anything for him.

                           Thanks for listing   Kelly



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          Maria Louise Van Deuson wrote Feb 4, 2009
        • ^Kelly, there’s a married couple on YouTube that give great advise in this area. Search for Dan and Jennifer.



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          Kim Guerin wrote Feb 11, 2009
        • It’s almost as though I have discovered a new kind of sex or something. My Lover satisfies me every time, I’ve discovered my G-spot, and my climaxes last far longer than they did in the past! I very rarely feel the need to satisfy myself anymore, and that was the main way that I survived in previous relationships.



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          Smiley1962 wrote Feb 12, 2009
        • I have always been a sexual person.  Love it and sometimes can’t get enough of it.   I will be 47 in September.  When I had breast cancer in 2002 (40 years old), of course the sex drive was gone, but now almost 7 years later, it is like I can’t get enough of it.  My poor husband of almost 20 years can’t seem to keep up.  But we try.  I am hoping once he loses his weight then he will be more active. estatic



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          Tracilea wrote Apr 9, 2009
        • I think the sex is better now - I don’t have the body image hangups I used to when I was younger and I am comfortable with who I am...Sex is so psychological that if you aren’t feeling good about who you are it’s really hard to give into the release of it all. Also, lingerie that hides trouble areas works really well...



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          Stephanie Lawrence wrote Apr 9, 2009
        • Lucky for me that my husband has a very high sex drive just like me. We have sex a least 3 or 4 times a week.



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