Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.

  • I don't want to lool frumpy

    40 posts, 20 voices, 3225 views, started Oct 17, 2008

    Posted on Friday, October 17, 2008 by Tori Santos

    •  



    • Aquamarine
      Offline

      i have realized over the last 6 months that I no longer enjoy shopping. I used to live to shop and shop to live. It seems that there are only 2 types of clothing, one that a hour glass figure such as my self would look like I was shoved in a sausage casing or one that makes me way older before my time. Plus I have a young child and I coach a high school cheer squad. I try hard to find cloths that are well made and cute but they seem either very stuffy or very frummpy. any thoughts?/



      •  


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tori Santos wrote Oct 17, 2008
        • Sorry look frumpy.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote Oct 18, 2008
        • I really like shopping at a variety of stores to get my look. I shop alot at old navy and gap. I utilize my daughters looks (19 &21) to help guide me. However since I am 44 I tone it down and make it more mature and appropriate for my age. I also try to accessorize with jewelry and scarfs (now my girls copy me and borrow my stuff).
          I recently have quit my job and now am a domestic goddess and am going thru an apparel change. Any tips or advice on how to look pulled together when you are staying home, cooking reading or relaxing?



                Report  Reply


        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Becca wrote Oct 18, 2008
        • I feel your pain on the feeling frumpy comment. I am a fuller figure gal and clothing just isn’t created equal. I cannot afford $100 for a pair of jeans because the cut would look better on me.  And - I don’t want to look like a high school girl - I am a mature woman.  

          So for me, I avoid trends.  I try to accessorize to make my look and buy classic items that will last throughout time.  

          vikki - my advice would be - make sure you treat yourself every day. Make sure to do your hair, make-up and put your jewelry on. Just doing these little things will make you FEEL good about yourself. It won’t matter if you just run to the store or someone stops at your house, you will feel good about YOU!  :O)



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote Oct 21, 2008
        • Thx Becca
          ..... it’s tough when things change even when we bring them on ourselves. It was my choice to finally quit work and stay at home. Funny thing is my kids are older and our lives are simpler. So figuring out what to replace my favorite red heels with to wear daily has been a challenge. It is so easy to throw a hat on and wear some sweats. However I will resist those urges (unless I’m painting!). I am in hot pursuit of comfortable around town shoes. I’m not a sneaker wearer unless I’m working in the yard. I am open to sugesstions.
          I am also a full figure woman. Again old navy has great jeans that don’t cost much. Oprah mag suggests the “flirt” cut.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Becca wrote Oct 21, 2008
        • Hi Vikki,
          Perhaps you could find some cute slip ons? I think it is funny you say you have found your look....I’m still in search of mine..hahaha I’m not use to carrying on extra weight - all of which I gained so easily after a few surgeries. It is tough to look at myself and see me with this new disquise. Perhaps you would share some designer tips/looks to get my groove going back on.. lol
          take care and have a wonderful day!  Becca



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Amethyst wrote Oct 21, 2008
        • It’s really frustrating when you like to shop and see what’s in style and in the stores and what you like seems to only fit the super thin. I know because I often feel that way myself.

          I’ve resorted to just trying to find what styles do look good on me and then just wear more of that but alternating in color and fabric. Take for example the fabric “tissue weight” tee shirts. I find that these are not flattering to my figure. So I look for a more “beefy” or substantial weight cotton long sleeve tee shirt to wear with jeans. High waist jeans, in my opinion, do not look good on ANYONE. But then again, I also can’t wear those super low waist ones. So, to solve this one - I look for jeans that are neither high waist nor super low. Old Navy is good and so is the “hip slung” cut of J.Crew’s jeans.

          I also love shoes. I love medium height heels but due to a chronic foot condition I can’t wear them. So now, I’ve been trying to find comfortable yet stylish and sexy shoes that do not look frumpy or masculine. Let me tell you, it isn’t easy.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote Oct 21, 2008
        • my look would be challenged by some of my friends... i have a tendancy whether it was in my work apparel or at home clothes to dress mainly in black.... so black t’s or sweaters with jeans, skirts or pants is not a real challenge.....my friends would love to see me in more color but when your on a budget you make the most of it..... however i do love to add flair thru my shoes, coats, scarfs.... it is hard when the fashion world is geared towards the thin...i am patiently waiting for my 19 yr old to finish fashion design and start making real women clothes...lane bryant used to be ok to shop at but they have changed and in my opinion not for the good....
          i never liked to shop so i tried to shop online for most things once i knew cuts, sizes, etc....again old navy online is great...
          Becca...as far as weight goes....go back to what you said to me....everyday do your hair and makeup....put on jewelry and other things that make you feel good..... make everything around your face, neck and shoulders as nice as you can to draw attention there......
          now any advice on hiding a muffin top that seems to be fighting for control over my body?
          i am going to check ut j. crews jeans to see how those work out...i wish i could help with the shoes cuz i like sexy and sassy shoes too.....have you tried zappos.com?



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Becca wrote Oct 22, 2008
        • Good tip Lisa, I watch what not to wear at times. The only problem is they have a $5000 budget.lol  

          Vikki - yes zappos is a cool site! I do dress up every day for work. I am contemplating a new hair cut - so I think that is always a mood changer. I also wear blazers and cardigan sweaters a lot - it adds a layer and also conceale things.  I guess my biggest advice for a large chest is not to wear things tight. Perhaps jazz up with lighter colored pants/skirts to draw your attention down a bit.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Bobbi Bacha wrote Oct 22, 2008
        • Im told I have a classic look, but if I wear something to country looking or baggy, I look and feel frumpy.. I like the cute cotten shirts, but its just not me.  I have to wear my brilliant colors, black, purple, royal blue, jade green, cranberry reds, fushia pinks, Chocolate browns, Rich Jewel tones.. Its me.. I love the soft colors but they wash me out completely.. And I have to wear a classic look or style of I look frumpy... I love all the soft skirts and sweaters but its not my look.

          My suggestion is find your look and blend in your styles and colors.  Youll find you somewhere in there but always add some trendy stuff.

          I shop for a new top or dress once a week.  Just to umph up my wardrobe and style.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tori Santos wrote Oct 22, 2008
        • Oh didI forget to mention I also have to wear a steal backed brace that adds 3 inches around my middle because of back surgery. I would give any thing to look, 1/2 as good as I used to.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Shari Tenner wrote Oct 22, 2008
        • I love ann taylors curvy boot cut jeans.  Lots of room in the thighs and butt, boot cut makes your legs look long and look great with a little heel.  find shoes that are really comfy but I think that unless you are really thin a little heel is needed.  Avoid the urge to cover up with loose caftan like sweaters, instead opt for jackets cut at the hip with some detail.  A cami under for nite or tee for day.  Never wear leggings, mini or sweaters that cover your butt unless your 12. Take a teenage girls and buddy w/you for the most blunt advise of your life. I find that i have basics-black sweater/tees long and short, same with white and one color.  Then I add to that with jackets. I have bought (this season) some shorter cardigans in Delia’s with little t’s underneath. they are not too expensive and look great. They come to the hip and can be worn with or without something underneath.  I have also taken to studying the J crew or other high end catalogues and then try and buy the same outfit for much less.  Trendy clothers come and go so why pay a fortune for something that may be in style one season. (ie skinny leg jeans from last year. )My problem is that my wt fluctuates about 20 lbs from 110- 130 depending on my stress level.  . Increased stress=decreased weight and visa versa.  So right now I weigh about 111 so I have about 3 things to wear!!!



                Report  Reply


        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Linni wrote Oct 22, 2008
        • Hi Vicki.. Clarks are nice shoes.. they are cute too...



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tori Santos wrote Oct 23, 2008
        • Thank you, I have 5 pairs of paints, maybe 6 sweaters and only 2 button up shirts that go over my brace. i have actually been trying to hide it under things. I will wear one othe the cami’s my bra a shirt or sweater over it. Talk about hot. I’ll be honest I have been in GA, where my husband was transfered to, for about 21/2 years and i have made ahhh no friends. I am at school all day, and practice and games 4 nights a week. So, I have taken my daughter but she rarely likes to be seen w/ me these days.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tori Santos wrote Oct 23, 2008
        • Ok I am negative, I give up!!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote Oct 23, 2008
        • LOL! you‘re not being negative.... you are living in your reality tho..... I had a friend who had multiple back surgeries and after the 1st one where she tried hiding her brace she gave up. Any surgery since she boldly wears it over her clothes and has on occasion decorated it to match her outfit of the day..... one halloween she went as wonder woman!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Shari Tenner wrote Oct 23, 2008
        • Have you looked at Cold Water Creek clothing?  They are lightweight flowy and very comfy.  Maybe this style is what you would enjoy especially with the brace.  They are on the web and have many styles, colors and collections.  Good Luck.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Oct 23, 2008
        • I like Chico, Coldwater Creek type of clothing.  Not too trendy but I feel it is great for the 40s.  Kind of casual, elegant as such.  I sometimes visit shop like Savers and go straight to the professional woman dresses.  First I select the size, then the label, then the dressing rooms.  I sometimes end up with 5 pieces of nice clothing for $7.99 each.  Who cares... if it fit, if it looks good, if it is not too worn... then I give myself a praise for being a great shopper!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Becca wrote Oct 24, 2008
        • imisstx have you tried some of those babydoll tops? Perhaps they would be easier to fit overtop of your brace yet be able to tie them back yo look more fitted. The tie is high so it is flattering.  I agree with Coldwater Creek - check them out you might be surprised at the nice clothes.
          good luck!  Becca



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Andrea Fink wrote Oct 24, 2008
        • Hi,
          I can relate to all this. Im a 40 yr old mom of 3 kids. My oldest boy is 12yrs old, my daughter is 9yrs old and my youngest son is 2yrs old. Im wanting to update a nonexistant wardrobe but cant seem to find things that fit right. I found a pair of mid rise jeans at old navy the other day. They come just blow my bellybutton and when i sit down i feel my butt is hanging out. Im not used to wearing jeans that sit that low. Im thinking of taking them back and looking for another pair at another store that might have a better rise. They do make by butt look good but i feel like im falling out of them. I got a long whit tank top and a purple cashmere vneck sweater to go with them. It makes a cute updated outfit. Im just not sure of the jeans. Any ideas as where would be a good place for jeans and nice tops?  Im also looking for a shopping buddy. So if any of you live in or near norwood ma that would be great. I could use the help.

          Andrea



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Meri Cain wrote Nov 2, 2008
        • I like stylish but comfortable clothes.I wear low- rise,bootcut jeans with a belt. I love the layered look.I look best if the my shirt/jacket tapers close to my mid-section.Have you ever been on www.myshape.com ? I love it.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Shari Tenner wrote Nov 3, 2008
        • Hi Andrea,

          You know the Old Navy jeans just don’t fit the over 40 with any curves quite right.  I find that if they fit in the thighs and seat the waist is too big, fit in the waist and the legs are too tight.  I found a pair of boot cut lower rise stretch jeans by levi @ Kohls.  they come in lengths and different leg widths.  They are so comfortable because of the stretch.  Kohl’s has a GREAT jean dept, many sales and coupons on the net @ coupon mountain.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Amethyst wrote Nov 5, 2008
        • I really love those outfits you put together!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 5, 2008
        • How did I miss this thread? I just read through it all and I’m so glad I did. I love the photos of the clothes, momogirl! Really cute things.

          I used to have such a cute figure but I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I walk by and, yikes, I’m becoming my mother! Sorry mom.

          I don’t know how to shop anymore. Nothing fits. I feel like the queen of frump these days.

          Keep the good suggestions coming!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote Nov 5, 2008
        • Hi Ladies
          I went to the website that momogirl suggested....that was fun right up to the point of measuring myself.....yikes! Awesome outfits tho....I will go back to it and will shop it.
          It is really nice knowing that there are others out there.....
          Thx!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tori Santos wrote Nov 5, 2008
        • I like the cloths but w my brace any thing to fitted looks horrible. I am trying take off some of the wait I gain but am unable to exersise do to spinal stenosis and yet another herniated disk. I am going to try and shop this weekend wish me luck!!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Stephanie wrote Nov 5, 2008
        • SHoes always make me feel better.. when I wear heels I feel powerful, like I am standing on top of the world.

          This can help any outfit, so don’t be afraid to try something new even if you do not own a pair of heels!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote Nov 6, 2008
        • imisstx
          Good Luck with the shopping. Let us know how it all worked out, what worked and from where.
          Like Stephanie shoes always makes me fel better  especially heels. There is nothing like a good shoe to add height and sass appeal. My favorites are my red patent 3in mary janes from ninewest. Unfortunately they just dont look good with sweats! There is always date night tho.......



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tori Santos wrote Nov 6, 2008
        • unfortunatly I had to give up heels, I am now restricted to flats and tennis shoes.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Julie777 wrote Nov 6, 2008
        • I have been dealing with the same problem.  Found some jeans @ Eddie Bauer that work for me, but I am hopelessly frumpy now after being somewhat slender most of my younger years.  It is hard to get used to.  Going to the gym helped the way I feel but doesn’t take off the lbs like it used to.  sigh.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Julie777 wrote Nov 6, 2008
        • A good supportive pair of athletic shoes is mandatory for me.  Dress shoes are painful.  Wish I could find some that are nice looking and supportive.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tori Santos wrote Nov 6, 2008
        • well I am in search of a pair



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Lily67 wrote Nov 8, 2008
        • Hi everyone, I just joined this site and how wonderful to see all these discussions.
          I’m 41 and mom of 3 little ones (almost 5, almost 3 and 1). So, I had a fabulous, athletic figure until I was 36.  Then had babies and I can’t fit into anything.  I’ve lost all my weight but am so flabby.  I’ve resorted to going to my local boutique to get personalized attention.  I only buy 3-5 pieces a year but I make sure they‘re classic and fits me well, and I can wear anywhere/anytime. It makes me feel good that I have nice and nice fitting clothing on yet I’m fashionable and up-to-date without being too trendy.   I love hats (during winter) and scarves to add a little pizzazzzzz.  

          Keep up all the discussions.  I love it!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Nayibi Naranjo wrote Nov 9, 2008
        • Great tip I did not know this webpage i love it Thanks



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Unlockingdreams wrote Nov 9, 2008
        • I am loving all the tips I am reading on Fabulously40, keep them coming ladies.  If anyone is interested I edited my blog, take a peek.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Carmela Tunzi wrote Nov 9, 2008
        • One way of getting around that is to buy one or two sizes bigger. I found that I could still have the trender looks and yet not having the clothing fit too snug I actually look slimmer. I work all day in a Beverly Hill hair solon and my cowrkers many of which are in there 20’s still don’t know my age. Plus ladies remember keep up your hair a nice color and cut will subtract years from you and will NOT look frumpy!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tori Santos wrote Nov 10, 2008
        • went shopping I bought two sweaters and some new stuff for my house. I did however by some make up and have my eyebrows done so it wasn’t a total right off.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tori Santos wrote Mar 11, 2009
        • I just wanted to say that I am not so cranky about dressing, I still have the brace but i LOST 45 POUNDS



                Report  Reply



  • Fashion Over 40 View Group »

    Fashion Over 40