Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.

  • I need advise!!

    7 posts, 7 voices, 686 views, started Jan 3, 2009

    Posted on Saturday, January 3, 2009

    •  



    • inactive
      Amethyst
      Offline

      OK, this evening I was informed by my 11-year-old bd that my 14-year-old sd cussed her out. The sd used the f and d words at my child.  I was furious.  My daughter WAS being annoying to the 14-year-old, but I’m sorry that doesn’t warrant a verbal attack like that using those kind of words.  I mean i’m not naive, it’s not like my bd hasn’t heard them before, but we‘re suppose to be a family and I don’t believe that one family member should address another family member in that manner, the fact that they are kids only makes me madder at the situation. (I was told all of this second hand didn’t hear the exchange).
      Well, here’s the kicker...........when I went to my dh and told him about it he looked at me and basically told me ‘well, what do you want me to do about it? It’s not like bd hasn’t heard those words before!’ I was completely thrown! I expected him to hall sd into our room instantly and demand an explanation. I was so pissed I left our room and went to play a game with the younger kids. THAT‘S when he decided to talk to the sd and she denied the whole thing and he believed her basically calling my daughter a liar. It’s not a shocker really that sd said this to my bd, you should see her myspace, it would make a sailor blush! Which to me makes the whole thing believable, and I think SHE is the liar and is protecting her own butt because she is going to an amusement park with her friends tomorrow and she doesn’t want to screw that up.
      So now we are at a standoff.  It’s a case of she said, she said.  We weren’t there to witness the exchange, so I believe my daughter, who has no reason to make this up, and he believes his who has every reason to lie.  So, what do I do?  He won’t let me confront her. My daughter is VERY upset that she was spoken to this way and didn’t even get an apology and that the sd got away with it. I feel I owe it to my daughter to make this right.  I am her example, her role model and what am I modeling by letting this whole thing just get swept to the wayside? I am desperate for some advise on how to handle this, help!!



      •  


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Richardson wrote Jan 3, 2009
        • If you spare the rod you, spoil the child, whip that a** lol.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Termite wrote Jan 3, 2009
        • I completely agree with MrsLorid.  My sis n law is going thru the exact same thing as you, except her hubby will point out every little thing her kids do wrong, and refuses to do anything about the things his kids are doing wrong.  He refuses to see it, and actually denies it!
          It is a tough situation.  But I think by you requesting his presence (and I would ask him to also not comment unless he is supporting you) while you are talking with both girls. She needs to know that whether or not this did indeed happen, that you will under no circumstances allow it to happen again from either child. That way they (your hubby and his dd) can see you are not siding with either one.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Saylor101 wrote Jan 3, 2009
        • I sure agree about talking with BOTH girls together - So everyone is on the same page and knows/believes there is no secret/favortism issues....

          I try and remind my boys often that we all have dif ways of expressing ourselves but that being respectful of what maybe offensive or hurtful to another is always paramount - - express yourself, but do it with respect to yourself and others...

          As far as the no witness thing- I also tell the boys - that I don’t HAVE to know what Really Happened - They know and God knows and that is that, but... blah blah blah - read above part again! : -) haha.    

          Good luck - I’m glad to be here - I’ll be going thru this soon enough NO doubt!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jomi wrote Jan 16, 2009
        • Sounds like time for a family meeting.  My ss’s were allowed to swear at their Mom’s house.  That kind of language doesn’t fly in my house.  Sometimes I have to remind one of them, but the other one has been heard telling his friends to watch their language while here.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Dutchgirl wrote Jan 17, 2009
        • Saylor, you got it right - have a talk with everyone in the family, since the house includes the whole family and what happens there matters. My dh and I made a pact a long... looonnng time ago that the two of us were a united front, and we would make our home a safe place. My sd’s always knew the rules, and we often had family meetings to talk about that kinds of stuff.  

          My advice: you and your dh MUST be united on things like this. The ages of your kids are when things get dicey, and if you don’t address things now, oooh you will be sorry later.  

          Good luck!



                Report  Reply



  • Parenting Bitch View Group »

    Bitch about it!