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  • i with deep regret Iam going to have to leave fab 40!

    31 posts, 27 voices, 1650 views, started Dec 1, 2010

    Posted on Wednesday, December 1, 2010




    • inactive
      Aquamarine
      Offline

      dear fab 40 members: I joined thsi group couple months ago after being through very rough times losing my mom whop i tok care of losinghouse i grew up in and now living alone ! I hoped i would make lots of friends and most important, make friends who would talk to me ,visit with me and hangout with me! reality, most of people in my area either would not add me or too busy to see me! worse, most people who added me as friend  never spoke to me after! and in lemon grove where i am only one person would be added! It is wonderful to have people across country to talk to but i will never see them or talk to them! When you live alone to know no one will be walking though that door or calling to say they want to get together the only freinds you have are e-mails you might get once in a while just is not the same! even when i get online and see up to a dozen or more women online  i send them messages and even if on for hours no reply while they busy doing comments and talkingto other fab 40 women! There were a few women  who i thought would get togetehr with me but now realize it not going to happen!  

      In addition , i probably wil soon have to move because of bills and thanks to california budget cuts getting harder and harder to pay bills and with only disability and no job prospects now will probably stop my internet too which for high speed costs a bundle! nothing takes the palce of a real hug  or someoneto sit down and talk to or share with! i realize now  that not going to happen with your group! i might end up in an aprtment might endup in a shelter  JESUS knows! so please dont send any cards and for cheekymonkey and neicy i will send their packages back so they can donate it to some women’s shelter!  This group once again reminds me of a theme that has run through my whole life namely, if you poor and dont have a  car  or much money people will find ways to not spend time with you!

      It’s okay, you will not miss me and you can go one talking abotu your dating history,or lady gaga, or celebrities,or whatever and soon wont’ even know i was there! i wont have forwarding address either because as i feared my family found me and is now harassing me again because my address was in probate  documents but when i move they wont find me especailly if i only rent! so it was nice to meet all of you but friendship based solely on e-mails only goes so far!   it’s just a shame but when i saw all these women that many could be models others own their own businesses that a poor woman like me would never fit in! that why i also didn’t post picture even if had camera because i dont look as beautiful as you all do! cheekymonkey talks about negativity becuse i got upset becuse she didn’t talk to me for  over a week! but the real negative is that when it came to this group  esepecially locally, i wasn’t  worth a visit! and it hard to feel specil weh noone wants to see you or get together with you!so goodbye! judy





        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Mztracy wrote Dec 1, 2010
        • Sorry you feel this way. I never really log out, so many times it says I’m online but most likely I’m not in here.  

          I’m in a wheelchair with a degenerative disease and never once has anyone made me feel left out. I know for me I rarely ck my messages here and when I do sometimes I never reply as I may not be having a good day.

          Sad that you take this all personally, as no one here means it that way.  

          The part about if your poor, etc is totally wrong as well. I’m in no way ‘rich’ I am not even able to drive. No one has ever made me feel below them in any way.

          Sounds like you might be in a bad place right now, and for that I’m sorry. Also remember the holidays are crazy bust times for many...



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jo46 wrote Dec 1, 2010
        • Dear Judy, I am so sorry that you are feeling the way you do. It sounds like there is a lot of pressure and uncertainty right now in your life.  I will prayer for you.  Please do not give up hope.  Sending you a “hug“...



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Anonymous wrote Dec 1, 2010
        • Dear Judy,
          Im so sorry you feel the way you do because I know you are a very kind and caring soul but you are in a very bad place right now and it seems for some time now (( Ill pray for you))and as much as I KNOW you wanted people around you (in person)its not something that people in general are comfortable with and if youre lucky you will find a few who may want to meet others in person but not as often as you might like to see, its an individual thing and should be respected. Its hard to connect when you put expectations on people to be your best friend when you barely know them yourself then get upset at them when they dont respond because you have scared them away because you are being very forward. It makes people feel ackward you know.
          I say this sweetheart with all kindness, you are a genuinely sweet person and I will pray for Happiness and Success to come your way.
          You are not alone in this world, just dont try so hard for others to like you, just be yourself and just watch how many friends you make. Just lay back a little and give it time.
          Sincerely,
          A friend.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Richardson wrote Dec 1, 2010
        • Judy I hate to hear this coming from you. If you feel you don’t want or can’t use the package I sent to you just donate it to someone else whom you think could benefit from it save your money and don’t send it back to me, I pray something works out for your good, God bless you.



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Felita Daniely wrote Dec 1, 2010
        • Judy I’m so very sorry to hear you‘re leaving.  I’m new to the site and you were the first to welcome me.  It’s very unfortunate that you took things personal and I pray that you will be able to move forward in your life and find peace, love and happiness.  

          Sometimes when we‘re in the valley of life, it’s very easy to focus on our circumstances & situations and the more we do, it manifests in our reality faster.  I hope that you find the connections your heart desires.

          God bless you & I wish you peace, love and blessings.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Anonymous wrote Dec 1, 2010
        • why are you leaving when you havn’t even particapated?



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 1, 2010
        • Dear Judy, I can truly understand how you feel.  Frankly, when I first joined Fab40, it was fun.  I was pleased even though I had a rough time then but most of you were supportive and I laughed in front of the screen and you most like my funky comments and pictures.
          Then life got more difficult for me. When TLC (my little pup) and most critical time was when Andy passed away, you were all there to send support and prayers. I thank you all so much.
          But then, my life has been in a vacuum. I did not see light at the end of the tunnel yet and still I am walking, step by step and sometimes paused.
          I seldom blog here anymore for I feel most of you are a fun group and sometimes not too many of us can handle too many depressing stories. Judy, we are in a different mind set and only attract to the same mind set of people. IMHO
          I am not saying fab40 is only a fun group.  I am saying Fab40 is a great online chit chat and friendship maker group.  But in our extreme cases, we need to find a more specific support group to fit our needs.

          I hope I do not offense anyone and I am speaking from my own experiences. That’s all.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Lazylola wrote Dec 1, 2010
        • Like Tracy, I may be logged on but not at my computer, I also don’t always get around to replying to emails...I get many with links, sometimes I’ll check them out and sometimes not.

          There are many of us in similar situations as yours, disabilities, unemployment and whatnot.

          I’ve never felt less than and have made some great friends...but it takes effort, participating in Q&A’s, commenting on blogs, morning chats.

          I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.heart



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Brimstone1968 wrote Dec 1, 2010
        • Judy I am sorry that you feel the way you feel.  We have communicated personally and was about to respond to your last e-mail.  Life is tough and rough and I have found myself in a very hard and dark place as well and during that time I use the site to gather strength by reading the blogs, I donot respond but just choose what to read to help me along.  Many times I come online I just read and read and read and not respond because that particular phase have me just reading.

          I sincerely hope that you can find maybe a support group that is more specific to your needs.  Be bless in all your endavours and thanks for sharing and communicating with me the times we did.

          Blessings.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Marlene McCray wrote Dec 1, 2010
        • Hi Judy,

          I had a great time talking to you and hope it was the same for you. Its been stated here and I will say it again, Stay  Blessed.

          Marlene



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote Dec 1, 2010
        • CD you said it best!!!!

          Judy just like the other comments.... I am always logged on here. Even when I step away I leave it on.  

          I am truly sorry if you feel slighted. Since I have gone back to work my time is limited on what I respond to. I used to respond to everything but honestly I just don’t have time.  

          I wish you the best in all that you do!



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Kandykahne 5 wrote Dec 1, 2010
        • I’m sorry you feel this way Judy. I have not noticed anyone on here that judges by being rich or poor or by looks, etc. I think we are very supportive of each other with the different things going on in our lives.  I hope everything works out for you.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          (華娃娃) ChinaDoll wrote Dec 2, 2010
        • www.dailystrength.org/c/Homelessness/support-group

          this may belp



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          UK Girl wrote Dec 2, 2010
        • Judy  

          I think your in a bad place honey - hey look at me two years on here and would love to see folk but due to life haven’t been able too as I’m in the UK but hey doesn’t stop me enjoy their company or having fun or speaking on the phone.
          but I come on her for the company and also knowing if I’m having a bad day or need some help the Fab40 ladies always step in and help out and make a comment.Plus I come on here for some laughter
          It may not be physical but with Fab40 the door is open 24/7 and sat with a coffee you feel people are around you.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cmrobert wrote Dec 2, 2010
        • Judy,
          Like the others, I too am so sorry that you feel this way. I rarely sign on but whenever I do, it’s like coming back home for a few minutes. When you joined you took the time to read my profile and to comment and relate to my being a caregiver. I so appreciated that and told you so. In terms of wealth and looks...well beauty is within (as far as I’m concerned) and wealth is abundant if you truly know the Lord.
          Gonna miss ya sis. Praying for you and please take care.
          Cheryl~



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Rose Nino wrote Dec 2, 2010
        • Judy,  

          I am so sorry to hear you feel this way. I’m one of the one’s who’s guilty of signing on and forgetting to log off. But I have always responded to your messages and I have appreciated your friendship. Please know you are in my prayers and that I will miss you!  

          Hugz heartheartheart



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Lotsgypsy wrote Dec 2, 2010
        • Oh Judy, Judy Judy!  heart  I am sure no one meant to offend you and you should be able to tell by everyones response that is not anyones intention.  You know there are so many things to look at on this site, that I almost missed this post.  Unfortunately, a lot of us are busy with jobs, and kids, aging parents, the list goes on and we did not realize how bad you are hurting.  I am very sorry you are going thru a very tough time.  When you sign up on Fab 40, you ARE part of a community.  Whether people reply or not. From what I can tell, there are people from all walks of life here, and that is what I like about Fab 40.  I really have not been on this too much, but I am trying to learn how to get around the site, and check it out more often, cause it seems like a really good place.  It seems like you can share happy and sad times here and no one judges!!!!  Please remember that. Go ahead and VENT! Doesn’t it feel better to Vent?  Also, PLEASE, your word and your thoughts are your wand.  What you think and say, you become.  You are your own creator!!!  I have been thru hell and back with certain situations, but in the back of my mind, I always thought I would make it.  I tell myself, OK, this sucks! but I know I will get through it.  Think good of people and good people will come to you.  Do not give up on yourself.  We do care about you and wish you the best, and we will all say some prayers for you!heart



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Lisa Middlesworth wrote Dec 4, 2010
        • Judy, I have to say that I am one of those that just love to read the blogs because I like to keep up with everyone. I don’t respond very often to comments and sometimes go weeks without being able to log on here.
          I agree with all the other ladies...
          You just have to jump in and believe me you will build relationships.
          I have made wonderful friends here, I’ve never and may never be able to meet face to face. I feel deep connections with several and couldn’t imagine not having them here when I come in.
          Many blessings and love to you heart
          BTW, I am unable to make the trips and meetings also, money is very tight for most folks these days. I in no way shape or form consider myself poor.
          I feel so very rich and blessed to have these online relationships.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Mztracy wrote Dec 4, 2010
        • Judy, I’m alone all the time. My kids go to school my hubby is gone from 5am to 7pm m-f. I know loneliness.
          I have 2 friends locally that if I need help or want to go out they will help. One who will come over and just sit with me.
          The Vegas trip was the first time I got to meet some of the fabbies. I cannot drive and have not been able to make any of the so cal meetings.
          These are the longer of many posts I have written and they take forever as my hands sometimes choose not to move, why I rarely pm people back. I may send a smile or something, but most times nothing. The ones that know the person I am know that I always appreciate them, whether I am able to pm or email back.
          I have days where I wish I would not wake up due to the pain the MS, but I get up and put on a smile and find a way to keep on keeping on. There are times I come and vent and complain about my illness, but most times I keep it light and try to find the humor.
          No one, not even me, want to hear the bad and gloom all the time. I live it, I come here to get away from it.
          No one just comes in and makes friends straight away, for some it takes time to actually see an online person as a friend.
          I can feel your reaching out, but many here are not premium either. Most post straight to their blogs and not in private groups. I’m only in one private group and most of the info is done per person’s blog as some doing the bracelet are not premium.
          It seems like you are trying to find fault here, and that is not what’s going on. I may have 70 people look at my blog and only 2 reply. If I took it personal I’d be bad off.
          I’m sorry if I am offending you in any way, but I call it like I see it.  

           p.s it a shame it took me saying i leaving to get more responses then any single day or week since i joined this group! judy  

          Why is it a shame? Because people reached out? It would be that way for anyone doing a blog like this, and it has before.  

          I hope you can find someone to talk to, a counselor or something, as you have a lot of past issues I feel you need to talk about with someone equipped to help. There are programs that can help.



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Anonymous wrote Dec 4, 2010
        • Tracy you phrased it perfectly!  heart

          I really think that Judy, you need to go to a counselor someone who can pull you out of this dark place you are in .
          Instead of finding fault in others, take a moment and find
          HAPPINESS in your Life, it can only come from YOU judy.

          I think this website is filled with pretty darn INCREDIBLE  women in here that are from all walks of life that are all there for one another .  

          What you are searching for you will find but you need to talk to a professional to find the right tools to get there first.  When i was in my own dark place I used to blame others for my own unhappiness until i realized that i was the creator of my own miserable thought process.
          Contact your local church for counseling it is free or you can contact your local united way for refernces.

          Good Luck to you ! I really mean that in the nicest way Judy.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jewelrybyirina wrote Dec 4, 2010
        • Hi Judy,
          I am really sorry the way you feel! I live far away from you but I was getting in touch as often as I could. I wish I had more time!
          I was going to mail you something and did ask you for your address because I care.
          I will pray for you!  I wish you well.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Linda L wrote Dec 4, 2010
        • Judy, I don’t have a single local friend and I do understand your lonliness.  This is why I joined fab40 and some have requested my friendship, but I don’t expect them all to chat with me.  I have to participate and get to know them thru blogs, comments, etc.  Sure I’d like someone to come visit me, but that may or may not happen and it takes time.  I have found fab40 to be an awesome site and many have given me advise and let me know that they care.  Please don’t give up.  I agree w/ Mz Tracy about talking to a counselor to help with your issues.

          Take care.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Anonymous wrote Dec 5, 2010
        • I agree with you Judy, I am leaving also!!!! God Bless



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cathie Beck wrote Dec 5, 2010
        • Judy, I’ve written back to you and you won’t write me back for days.... and you leave me wondering if you‘re Ok. If I want to be your friend and you turn me down, I’m not to be blamed for your lonliness. Now I see you have friendships with some of the best women here on Fab40. Don’t try to play my heartstrings, please.  

          Seriously, Sweetie.... if you feel in a dark place most of the time, a counselor or someone to talk with about what holds you in a dark place is a good idea. You should have more out of life than feeling you aren’t accepted and loved. You just have to want it enough to help yourself.  

          Seriously I don’t care about your exterior.... I care about your interior. That you can change.

          Hugs and take care,
          Cathie



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