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  • Last nerve

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    13 posts, 10 voices, 960 views, started Apr 11, 2010

    Posted on Sunday, April 11, 2010 by Cynthia Schmidt

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    • Diamond
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      I love my 4 year old step granddaughter but right now she’s on my last nerve. She and her mother live in our cottage. My stepdaughter works nights while my husband’s ex wife sits in the cottage with her granddaughter. That’s weird in itself. I look out my kitchen door through the garage and there’s my husband’s ex wife cleaning our cottage because her daughter chooses to live in squalor.

      So at the moment my stepdaughter is sleeping, my husband is watching the Master’s and my granddaughter is wanting me to make her a paper airplane.I didn’t sign up for this.

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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Tuliplady wrote Apr 11, 2010
        • Being a step mom is no picnic no matter the age of the kid involved.

          My own step-daughter made it pretty easy to be a step-mom, but there are still days when the things she does drive me nuts and wouldn’t have happened if I’d been the one to raise her.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Richardson wrote Apr 11, 2010
        • Choc, I know it can be overbearing but you MUST take a step back, breathe and just be there for the child, its not her fault she is in the midst of the mess. But due to you being the owner of the cottage it is your rightful duty to speak with your Step-daughter about her living habits and let her know that you understand her work schedule but you also expect her to step up and do better with what you have entrusted her with (living in your cottage) and that what she and her mother does is between them but she has a commitment with you by taking better care of your investment that you‘re willing to share with her and hers at this time. My prayers are with you.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cynthia Schmidt wrote Apr 11, 2010
        • Thank you both! I did what any red blooded American woman would do - I put that child in the car and went shoe shopping! She got 2 pair of the most adorable shoes I’ve ever seen! I appreciate the feedback. I don’t vent very often but this morning I was about to burst.



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          Mztracy wrote Apr 11, 2010
        • Not sure how you do it Cynthia!
          The step-daughter would hate having me as a step-mom!! lol



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cynthia Schmidt wrote Apr 11, 2010
        • Thank you Tracy. I think it wasn’t for this child in the mix the step daughter would have been sent packing long ago.



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          Mztracy wrote Apr 11, 2010
        • I hear ya!

          She’d have had my boot in he butt on the way out too!! lol



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          Kyah wrote Apr 11, 2010
        • I’m not a parent, but I can tell that you did the right thing. 4-year-olds make great mini shopaholics. I saw one in Bath & Body Works, with her parents. She had to sniff every scent in there and had a basket full of stuff by the time Daddy caught up with her. I said to Mommy, you got a shopaholic in training, she said ‘tell me about it!’  

          When the going gets rough, the tough go shopping!



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          Dpearsal wrote May 7, 2010
        • I feel for you but at the moment I don’t want to be encourging or politically correct.  My steps are 16 and 20.  Both are incredibly manipulative, self centered and have a sense of entitlement.  It’s to the point where I’m thinking about walking away.frown.  I’ve been in my relationship for 2 years now.  I do not have any children and came in thinking that because the kids were older, and would be on their way to college and their own lives soon, this should‘nt be too bad but... What I’m starting to see is that these two will never be on their own, they are not equipted to be their own and will forever cry croc tears and manipulate their guilt ridden dad.heartbreak



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Cynthia Schmidt wrote May 7, 2010
        • I had the last straw when we came home a few weeks ago from a short off island trip and nothing that was on my list was done - cat was barely fed, garden wasn’t watered, mail still sitting in the box. Then to add insult to injury, she left the bar fridge open allowing it to defrost all over my wood floor and she had  made herself some dinner and left a pizza stained cutting board sitting in my sink unwashed. I blew a gasket. But I then calmed myself, went to the cottage and had the ultimatum talk with her. I gave her a very specific time frame and a very specific list of requirements - something no one has ever done with her. She’s never been held accountable for anything in her entire life.

          I really let her have it, even telling her she’s a bad mother. She listened intently - no one has ever done this with her - and when all was said and done, she said she loved me and she would do whatever it took to re gain our trust. It’s going on 3 weeks now and I’m very hopeful that this was the turn around.



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          KRIS JULIN wrote May 7, 2010
        • As you know, my step children are in Australia, as are my step grandchildren. If I was in your position, the child is the innocent person in all this and being the fabulous woman you are Cynthia, she will love you for all you do for her. You did right in speaking to the step daughter, you do not have to put up with any crap, especially when you are doing her a favour.  If it was a tenant, you would do the same. The ex wife cleaning the house, at least it is not you, and someone is keeping it clean



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