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I would like other survivors of divorce’s perspective on this. When I divorced a year ago, a friend of mine told me she found the second year to be more difficult than the first. It has now been a year since my divorce, and I’m begninning to understand what she meant.
My divorce was quite sudden, and there were so many decisions I had to make immediately. First and foremost was finding a place to live, purchasing a home, and moving in. I put all of my energy into surviving the year and trying to be as positive as I possibly could. I allowed myself to grieve, saw a wonderful therapist, and took care of myself. After so much drama, my goal was to have a year of healing and an undramatic life.
For the first time in the past year, I miss living near family (moving is not an option due to work), and find myself being lonely at home. I have remained very active at church and in the community, but it doesn’t replace coming home to family and a companion.
There is so much written about going through a divorce, but nothing about year 2. How have others dealt with this?
Thanks.
Carolyn
Thanks, Lisa. That is helpful. I began thinking about my interests during my “busyolic” stage. In trying to remain positive, I looked toward the future. Unfortunately, there is still a great deal of pain there that I still need to deal with.
29 years is a long time to be with someone, and I’m sure it’s going to take more time to heal. As I try to heal from the pain, I am focusing on projects at work, and a couple of ministries at church that I have helped to start. I am also continuing to try to define who I am as a single person. That one is very challenging. I married when I was only 19, so I’ve really never been a single adult before.
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