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    3 posts, 3 voices, 582 views, started Jun 12, 2009

    Posted on Friday, June 12, 2009 by Angell VillafaƱe


    • Carnelian

      I'm posting this is in response to the question posted by Shopgirl about listening.  

      When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice,
      you have not done what I asked.  

      When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.  

      When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.  

      Listen! All I asked was that you listen.  

      Not to talk or do-just hear me.  

      Advice is cheap. Ten cents will get you both Dear Abby and
      Bill Graham in the same newspaper.  

      And I can do for myself. I’m not helpless.  

      Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.  

      When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.  

      But, when you accept as a single fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and get to the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.  

      And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.  

      Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.  

      So, please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn; and I’ll listen to you.    

      -Author Unknown


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