Maxine on Retirement as a Wal-Mart Greeter

Unfortunately, as I have gotten older, I have become a little less sensitive. So, after trying my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, last weekend (a good find for many retirees), I lasted less than a day.  

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, butt ugly, nasty woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, ‘Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’

The ugly, nasty woman stopped yelling long enough to say, ‘Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they‘re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?’   So I replied, ‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma‘am. I just find it hard to believe you got laid twice!  Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.’

My 25 year old supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work........ soooo maybe I’ll go fishing.