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  • Mother's Day and Elegant Women in your Life

    15 posts, 7 voices, 369 views, started Apr 20, 2008

    Posted on Sunday, April 20, 2008 by Amy L. Harden

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    • Garnett
      Offline

      CyberHotFlash Question for the Week

      Let’s celebrate our Mother‘, Grandmother’s or importan women in our lives by discussing the tips and tricks they have passed on to us to be elegant women in our own lives.

      So, here is the question:

      What bit of advice or bits of advice did your Mother, Grandmother or a woman of key importance in your life pass on to you that you believe makes you an elegant woman today?



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Amy L. Harden wrote Apr 20, 2008
        • My mother always made sure that I was dressed in the prettiest of clothes when I was young...frilly dresses, petticoats, lacey socks and shiney Mary Janes. I loved it!  

          She thought that blue jeans were for the farm...and we didn’t live on a farm AND women most of all should not wear them...they were too masculine. I never convinced her to buy me a pair.  I babysat for several nights so I could buy my own.

          My mother was born in the 1920’s and raised by very prim and proper English parents...we regularly had afternoon tea.  She taught me very early on how to sit properly at the table, to stand with my shoulders back and head held high. She always told me that I should walk with purpose...“It say something about you...It says you have confidence in who you are.”  

          My mother rarely laughed boldly out loud and when she did laugh she would delicately place her hand up to her mouth to cover it as not to offend...it was very gentile...I always thought...so I followed suit.  I was surprised when I travelled to Japan to live that Japanese woman do the very same thing for the very same reason.  

          My mother never understood how some women could take up certain sports, like baseball or soccer...even tennis.  She would say to my sister and I when we expressed interest: “Why would you want to play a sport like that...you’ll sweat and women should never sweat or least never let people see you sweat.”

          I never understood this last statement she always said to us.  I always thought that was her way of keeping us from doing something we wanted to do or keep us from getting hurt.  But now that I am older I do sort of see what she was saying...it was her way of trying to instill a sense of femininity in us...in her mind purposely doing something that would make you sweat would ruin the overall mystic, the allure, the attractiveness of being a woman.  Though I see this now...I have encouraged all four of my daughters to sweat in any sport that would like to sweat in, but at the same time they have become some of the most feminine of girls. I make sure I teach them all the other things that my mother taught me.

          My mother passed away recently...she struggled the past few years slowly going away from us through dementia and multiple strokes.  But one thing remained...her elegance.

          The last time I saw her she was unable to speak, she barely smiled...but when I arrived she was dressed in the prettiest embroidered shirt, classy skirt and her snow white hair had just been done...and when she went to smile, she would lift her frail hand up to her mouth to cover it.  She may have lost her ability to laugh...but she never forgot how to the elegant woman I had always known her to be.

          I miss you, Mom!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Stephanie wrote Apr 21, 2008
        • My mother always- and until this day, taught be that I should always look my best, no matter where I am, or where I go. Not for others, but for myself.

          Its true! Everyday when I dress up, I feel good and motivated to go about my day. Believe it or not, getting dressed motivates me!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Kendal wrote Apr 21, 2008
        • It may sound cliche- To treat others the way you want to be treated.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Yana Berlin wrote Apr 21, 2008
        • Great topic, I included men in my list as contributors as well, after all fathers day is not that far away.

          My mother always taught me to be respectful and kind. She taught me that family comes first. That we all need to stand behind each other and support each other.

          My father taught me that if you want something be persistent and never give up.

          My grandpa taught me that first we work for our reputation, than our reputation works for us.

          My grandma taught me that if you make your bed every morning wrinkle free, you’ll marry a handsome man. (I believed her, and glad I did....my husband is very handsome)  :)

          My little brother taught me that if I can last through dinner with him, I can get along with anyone.

          My kids taught me the meaning of unconditional love.

          My best friend Julia taught me how to be a good friend.

          Life taught me as long as I learn something everyday I’m growing spiritually.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Amy L. Harden wrote Apr 21, 2008
        • Kendal:

          I don’t think that is cliche at all...we tend to forget this more often than not.  I agree.

          Stephanie:

          My mother felt the same way...she was a picky about it...but she still had the same message.  It does make all the difference...doesn’t it?!

          Amy



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Amy L. Harden wrote Apr 23, 2008
        • Yana:

          What a great list!

            Indeed, men should be included in what makes a woman elegant...along with other family members.  You have been blessed by having integral family members who have left their legacy by influencing your ability to be who you are and how  others view you.  I am sure this is why you are such a go-getter!

          Ladies...you are seeing/reading about *Yana*...she is the real-deal.  I have had the pleasure of speaking with her at length...and from the beginning I have been highly impressed with her drive to go out and get what she wants, while remaining true to her cause.  She is a real “kick in the pants“...“a  real peach“...her vision and dreams of lifting women up is passionate.  I would like to thank all the people that she mentioned in her list...it is they who have helped her be the person she is today. I am honored to call her friend.  

          Thank you for sharing, Yana.

          Amy
          shepherdess5



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Yana Berlin wrote Apr 23, 2008
        • Amy, you are so sweet. Thank you for your support, your kind words and your ability to elegantly convey the message and make my day.

          I’m so fortunate to have met you and all of our wonderful ladies in cyber space, let’s make a goal for next year to throw an elegant gala and meet in person.

          All the best,
          Yana



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Amy L. Harden wrote Apr 23, 2008
        • I will be there with bells on!!!!  Give me the date and time.

          Amy



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Loretta wrote Apr 30, 2008
        • My mother was strong, smart, a friend to everyone, and always fought for what she believed in.

          I am one of 13 children and if raising 13 children wasn’t a daunting task in itself, my mother did so many great things.  

          She ran my father’s business, she excelled to leadership in Tupperware, she served as community president, and she started an organization as a watch dog for education.  

          Today I can only imagine how she did it all. And of course when I was a child I didn’t really see or appreciate any of it.

          To me she was an amazing woman!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Amy L. Harden wrote Apr 30, 2008
        • loretta:

          Your mother should be mother of the year...maybe the century.  I’m going crazy with five ...I can’t even imagine 13!  God bless her!

          Yes, I am interested how growing up in such a large family directed you in your life.  What was your birth placement?  What was her belief system?  What were the great things she did...no matter how big or small?

          Do tell...



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jane Woods wrote May 1, 2008
        • Yana, I love your list, but I have never heard before the one before about wrinkles in the bed! I’ll tell my darling daughter.

          Sadly, it’s usually when we have lost people that we reflect on what they have taught us so it’s great to see your list. Set me thinking too.

          My Dad, who died ten years ago, always told me that you have to make your own mistakes, just don’t make the same ones twice! A brilliant piece of advice.Not that he always managed to follow it himself....!

          And my youngest brother, Jamie, who died suddenly and unexpectedly a few years ago taught me to make the most of every moment as you never know what is around the corner. And his amazing wife and kids showed me how to survive adversity. And are still showing me!

          Fortunately I have another brother(!) and he has taught me so much about hidden prejudices with his two beautiful half Jamaican children and lovely partner. And he makes me laugh- but he doesn’t always mean to do that!

          My husband has shown me how to love unreservedly, with generosity and well!

          And my kids, well, they teach me so much! Right from day one. They teach you how to let go in order to have them coming back! And how to spend money... cry at school shows...wear (or not wear) the latest fashions...keep you up to date with all the good bands...not to judge their mates by how they look...the list goes on.

          And my Mum, who is amazing, 80 next birthday and still going to singing, keep fit and driving ‘the old folk’ around! Indefatigable woman who doesn’t give in to illness.

          And all my many amazing friends who support and sustain me!

          Lang may all your lums reek!
          Jane
          [Link Removed] 


          Changingpeople, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Amy L. Harden wrote May 1, 2008
        • Jane:

          I love your list...you are/have been blessed!  Thank you for adding to our list.

          I must add another to my list about my kids....they have taught me how to laugh...they make me laugh every day AND they have taught me how NOT to take myself too seriously...they are always making fun of my little idiosyncracies.  They keep me humble!



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          Jane Woods wrote May 1, 2008
        • Yes, truly blessed!
          So agree about kids laughing at us. I have been working on a free audio download for my web site (a relaxation) and using the skills of my actor son as a voice coach. I haven’t been able to do a thing as he has made me laugh so much and keeps telling me I sound like the talking clock.(At the fourth pip the time will be...)or worse, the Queen! At this rate it’ll be Christmas before I get anything laid down!But it’s such fun and I hope maybe that will come across when people hear it.

          And that is a lovely story about your mother. What a great image to have in your head and what an amazing role model for you.  Jane



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  • CyberHotFlash...at fabulously40 and beyond View Group »

    No holds barred commentary, opinions and reviews on various topics dealing with mid-life.