Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.

  • My Ex Husband

    22 posts, 16 voices, 996 views, started Oct 1, 2008

    Posted on Wednesday, October 1, 2008 by Cheryl Phillips

    •  



    • I try to bite my tongue for the sake of the children but come on. 7+ years post divorce and he’s still an ass who is obsessed with trying to control me and put me down. He spent almost 7 years dodging child support (did I mention he makes a hefty living and has a gorgeous home?)until he was arrested (how embarrassing!)not once, but twice, for not showing up in court and failing to pay. Of course, his millionaire Daddy bailed him out.  

      His business is in his wife’s name...so he claims very little income...so I get grocery money at best. It’s insane but he gets away with it and complains the whole time. My kids see him two weekends (Sat/Sun night) a month and that seems like a lot for him. That’s fizzling out...they prefer home.

      I’ve struggled and worked hard all my life. He’s a prince with a silver platter and will do anything to not support his children.

      Enough of that.....I’m happy to have great kids......but he’s a word that’s not worth using.



      •  


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Ritzimiranda wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • Honey... at the end of the day... it’s all about KARMA... it will all come BACK... and twice fold.

          Stay strong!!!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Andrea Kuhman wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • You got the bad ex. There is always one that is the bad one.  Damn that doesn’t have to be.  I get along great with my ex.  Totally not the norm.  You have an evil male ex.  My husband (who does may an enormous amount of child support) has an evil female ex.  ritzimiranda is right.  KARMA is a bitch too!!!  LOL.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jacquie6363 wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • I cannot for the life of me, understand, how can a man fathered children, profess his love for them, well I am assuming he does, and then not take the time to support them.  Supporting those kids should just be an enjoyment as making them.  In conjunction with all the others KARMA is a bitch and then some.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          M2pjulie wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • Jacquie, it’s called the 30-minute dad. That isn’t necessarily 30 minutes a day, in some cases it’s 30 minutes period. AND THOSE are specificalled called “sperm donors.” For many women, I believe that’s the best deal, because they don’t have to deal with the headaches of the @$$hole men. My first husband, straight redneck jerk. But 2nd time’s the charm, and I have a real winner. Current husband will be adored with my dying breath. The first one is a skank though. Nice enough guy on the surface, just a total douche-bag when it comes to personal stuff.  

          Dailyblonde, I’m sorry your kids have been neglected so severely. I’ve heard you can make a permanent statement in someone’s yard if you spray the word “JERK LIVES HERE” with Round-Up Grass Killer in their perfectly manicured front yard. Works best when the asshole and family are out of town on their luxurious vacation and it has time to cure for about a week or so. The grass dies slowly, and by the time the family returns home, only the beginnings are visible. Over about 2 weeks though, the deed is done and the message is permanent. Personally, I’ve not done it, but I know someone that did. The grass never has grown back right. The ghost of revenge is there every time the man looks at his yard from his bedroom window.  

          We all applaud her for teaching us how to successfully seek revenge.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Amy L. Harden wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • Revenge is not ours to inflict...there is a higher power that will take care of this...AND...in our day and times this sort of revenge should be left to the movie industry to use in their next script on Bad Dads.  Your friend was probably lucky that her ex didn’t have her arrested or charged with destruction of property.  

          This revenge sounds sweet...downright, delicious!...but DailyBlonde...your ex probably has security cameras around his house...and Daddy would be more than happy to pay for the legal bills to take you to court to prove that you or someone you hired to do it...Not that I think you would even consider taking this advice.

            Revenge is never as sweet as it appears on the surface...it can get you in to trouble....and is this the kind of role model anyone wants to be for their children? No one gains anything from revenge.  It is an immature act like T-Ping someone’s yard, throwing eggs, keying a car...leaving a brown paper bag filled with dog poop on someone’s doorstep...Don’t ya think?

          Was she really successful?...She stooped to his level.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Bobbi Bacha wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • DailyBlonde, Ive been through exactly this, and I know its hard and your struggling but GET OFF THE BOARD !!!  

          This kind of man is a game player, and the only way to win is to not play the game.  MY Advice as Ive been there myself its tempting to try to beat him at his own games and you have right on your side, but you wont be able to do so as your up against power and money.  Ive been exactly there.  So, dont play the game and get off the board.

          Its a hard thing to do because he will do something or say something or fail to do something like pay child support which will cause you to react.  He counts on the fact your playing... and reacting.. So dont !!!!

          I know its a hard thing to do.  But step away from the situation.  Focus on your childrens needs, your needs and how your going to accomplish all of this for them and yourself.  Dont worry about what he does and only deal with him through a third party.  Cut yourself off from him.  The kids will visit and he will try to use them to get to you but dont let it and be patient with the children as its only a matter of time before they see the truth of the situation.

          Dont let negativity get to you.. be positive and rely on yourself, no one else.  

          And your better off with out him.. in the long run youll realize how much better.

          I know your strong but your inner pain is there.  Dong play his little games, its how he gets his jollies.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Feathermaye wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • I used to bitch about my ex all the time, and then he died.

          I try to respect his memory for the sake of my son, although I have to wonder why, exactly, all transgressions are to be forgiven in the face of death.

          But, boy oh boy, did I ever used to have A LOT to say!!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Paymymom-com wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • I hear you!!!
          Mine is trying to get me to go to mediation to change the visitation schedule to only benefit him and not our son and definitely not me... so I just didn’t give my acceptance to the mediation dept to go... things are the same and my son and I are happy about that!  

          PS I only get $100/mo child support... not even to cover the groceries.

          like ritzimiranda said it’s all about Karma!!!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cheryl Phillips wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • Here’s the thing:

          I never bitched, never complained. Worked thru it on my own and never chased. The law caught up with him...and it helped me out. I continued to let him see his kids, never withheld that....never talked badly about him to my children. That’s not their concern.

          I’m strong, I’m solid and I took it like a prize fighter. Now it’s his loss because the kids are starting to see that he’s not really a functioning part of their life.

          I never, ever....ever.......say a bad word. This was my place to just let it go. I’m above him...I have a cute home, great kids who adore me (And vice versa) and the strength to make it all happen even when it wasn’t easy.

          He’s a sperm donor....that’s all. Marriage was good at one point. Cheating is not the way to go, but it’s what he chose many years ago. His loss!  

          I’ve got someone wonderful in my life....add that to my kids and a good outlook on life, and we’ve got success! :O)



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Destinyboutique wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • Ooooh dailyblonde, I am so sorry to hear your ex is such an $##@&.    

          I divorced after 13 years.  He was emotionally abusive.  Then he proceeded into being financially abusive taking advantage of the fact that I am not born in this country and absolutely had no knowledge of my rights whatsoever.  After the divorce I ended up having the kids 5 days a week paying him a $110 child support.  I did not know this at the time, but if I have gone to the court to rectify this  I would have been receiving $2K/mo in supports instead of paying him. All I wanted is to get along and not have any conflict. Go figure.

          When I had $240 on my bank account total (yes savings and all), the court ordered me to pay him arrears for few thousands dollars.  This was because ex went back to court demanding payment from me for the work he had done on my floor.  We got back to together for a while, and during this time he wanted to help to chance my flooring from carpeting to pergo provided I will pay for it.  I found out that he is text messaging to meet someone while we are together and everything fell out.  Ex decides to demand payment for the pergo flooring and the physical labor he did, and the court grants it.  This was an awful time to even deal with him in my house. I was very hurt at the time to realize that we could never work out and that I wasted my time even giving him the second chance.  He informed me that I am crazy just like my mom, yet he assumes it is his task to come to my house pretty much uninvited to fix the flooring and get payment for his labor.

          He never paid his retirement account and I have a reason to suspect he is hiding $100,000 in retirement savings.  However, my reason to suspect has no bearings in legal circles.  My first attorney asked ex about any retirement assets before marriage and he answered “no not that one, I had it way before we got married“.  To me he admitted that he has one account.  He started this account when he was 21.  We got married 4 years after he started it, and stayed married 13 years while he had the account.  Two attorneys told me that whatever he said has no legal validity, and ex denies he has the account.  He claims we used up that account to buy homes, yet he never wanted to give me any proof of that.  I have given up on this.  

          I think the kids are somewhat afraid of him due to him being so overpowering.  I have my birthday this week and it falls under his day.  Kids were talking about maybe exchanging the day so they can celebrate my bday with me.  They ended up giving it up since “it is never gonna happen anyways“.  My son wanted to ask dad to switch the days but my daughter did not want to even ask him.

          Now we have a 50/50 timeshare which is absolutely killing me.  I miss my kids way too much when they are gone.  

          Well, thanks for letting me rant on this.  

          Dailyblond, you look like a cutie and sound like a nice intelligent person.  In my opinion you are a commodity and should be in a nice relationship with a real man.  Good luck with everything.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Destinyboutique wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • Oh, I read your profile dailyblond, and looks like you are in a wonderful relationship.  Awesome.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cheryl Phillips wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • Destiny....sending big hugs. It’s amazing what we go thru....but we are survivors!! :)



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cheryl Phillips wrote Oct 1, 2008
        • PS...yes....I have an AWESOME man in my life..finally. My best friend and he is one outstanding single Dad, too.  

          I’m SO lucky....it took a long time to have some one in my life that both my children and myself adore......sooo lucky. I pass that luck on to everyone who is in doubt that it can’t happen.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jacquie6363 wrote Oct 2, 2008
        • dailyblonde63..You are a great role model for your kids and and an inspiration to all those that have gone through, is going through and will go through what you are experiencing.  May your life with your new hubby continue to bring you nothing but joy and happiness.  Keep up the good work with the kids, they are a blessing...enjoy them



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jude11 wrote Oct 19, 2008
        • Voila, I just posted on your STEPMOM topic and did comment on the EX factor. Yours does seen to be a tough one to deal with. I am sure it is tough on them as well raising the kids full time while we get (got) them on the weekends and some times during the week. I think from reading the partenting blog, Hell all parents step or not have a hard time with kids. You guys are just cracking me up with the honesty. I just love this board!!

          Thx for being so HONEST... IT IS SOOO VERY REFRESHING.
          jude



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jude11 wrote Oct 19, 2008
        • dailyblonde, that stinks that you have an X that is not doing his part and you have to play these games with him. It’s really unfair to your children and someday, they will understand this all. Maybe they do now. Kids are not stupid and once they get beyond the confused and not taking sides part, they realize the way things really are. Ours did anyway. I feel my husbands X was Lucky that he only wanted the best for her and the kids after their divorce. They were not friends at all after their divorce but he still did what he had to do for his kids. He and I both always had and still do have the best interest of the kids in mind. Your X sounds very selfish. I have not read your profile so do not know your complete situation but plan to read it now. Best of luck with the Ass happy



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cindylouwho1966 wrote Oct 19, 2008
        • Being the child of a dad who did that kind of crap to my mom, I can say your kids will not want to deal with him as adults. About a year ago, I read my dad the riot act about his failure to pay child support, orthodontia, college, insurance. He was a deadbeat when he was married to my mom, and he continues his deadbeat ways to this day. I don’t hate him, but I have nothing in common with him, and have absolutely NO respect whatsoever.

          I thank GOD I did not have kids with my ex, because the minute they went around his nutty family, I’d have been in jail.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Inakika wrote Oct 19, 2008
        • Dailyblonde,
          It sounds like he is jealous because you have moved on. I’m sure he was really hoping that you would bottom out and have to come running back to him but you did not.
          You know, it takes a strong woman to have endured what you have and still keep your head up (and a beautiful head it is!) A lesser woman would have dragged her children into the fray and stooped to his level.
          You are blessed to have beautiful children and a wonderful man in your life, the rest will fall in to place.
          And your spiteful, pitiful, “shell of a man” EX will one day grow old, alone and miserable, with no one to blame but himself.
          And the saddest part is your kids are starting to see him for what he really is and there is nothing he can do about it. How sad. Money can’t buy him the respect of his kids.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Alleyne-Hill wrote Oct 19, 2008
        • Hey Dailyblonde (and everyone else)

          I have a similar problem with my ex husband too...this must be something contagious (deadbeat dads...lol). When I told my ex that I was getting married last year, he acted all happy for me. He even offered to buy our daughters their dresses as they were in the wedding. For the sake of the children, John (my new hubby) and I thought we’d be the bigger people and invite our ex’s to the wedding. My ex and his wife declined saying they had a prior engagement, but his mother, father, sister and her children attended. His other sister even offered to do my makeup for free, but I declined because I don’t like makeup (I’m a natural kinda girl).  

          Anyway, they all were at the wedding and then someone from his family, don’t know who, called to tell him that my oldest (now 20) was smoking cigarettes at the reception (this is not his child). We were in Hawaii, on our honeymoon and my daughter called me crying because he called her cussing her out. So you know I had to handle my business right?...Fast forward...New hubby and ex hubby get into it. (my ex was abusive when we were together, so naturally John is very protective of me and mine) Ex starts threatening to take the children away from me because I too was not born in this country.

          Get back home, child support stops. I consult an attorney. My dad offers to pay for it if I finally come forward with the truth about the abuse, if not for me, for the girls. I agree.

          Court date keeps getting posponed. We finally get in there in 2008, right after I had the baby. Ex says he’s not working (mind you wifey #2 just opened a shoe store and they put it in her name so there’s no proof of income on his behalf). Judge orders him to pay $500/month (no proof of income remember?). I was trying to be nice by settling on the back payment ($10,000) providing he pay me monthly on time. So far this year I’ve gotten $1,750. So now we‘re back in court and he has to pay the arrears...(My mum says “good luck with that...lol...If he can’t pay $500/month, how’s he gonna pay the arrears?“)

          The girls were with him for their court appointed visitation (I fought that one tooth and nail and lost) in Georgia. John’s grandmother passed away at that same time so we were in Ga also. Ex calls and say he can’t afford to bring the kids back to Maryland and he can’t afford to keep them with him (I don’t know why not, he claims he’s not working) and asked if I could pick them up on my way back home. I say sure (I miss my girls something aweful when they‘re gone) His wifey says “no, we’ll bring them home, don’t want her reporting to the court that we can’t afford to keep them“. So he brings them home 5 days early. The girls were happy because they hated being there with him, he curses too much and he got them kicked out of “Six Flags” in Ga with a permanent ban (if they can actually do that)because of his temper...I could go on and on...It’s crazy...

          I know my ex is jealous because I’m finally happy, broke but happy...but that’s his issue not mine...so Yeah I know exactly what you‘re going thru...We just have to pray for them in spite of...God’s got my back and he has yours too!!!!

          Denise



                Report  Reply



  • Parenting Bitch View Group »

    Bitch about it!