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Benefits
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Posted on Friday, April 29, 2011 by Cheekymonkey
I remember who I use to be. I remember who I want to be. I just do not remember me now, or when I stopped being the person I knew a life time ago. At least it seems a life time ago. About 11 months ago I lost something very valuable and I’ve been looking for it since.
It’s my essence...of who I knew I was. The woman I had become over the years. Well, she vanished one day without warning.
It was the day I was told exactly how sick I am and I was given the outcome of what was to be in it’s estimated time frame.
An empty shell sat there. I’d been replaced by a shell of my former self.
That was then, This is now:
I’m not exactly who I used to be and I sometimes find myself missing the old me or wishing for a clock that I could turn back time.
Even though I’m not exactly who I was I’m still here just re adjusting myself and along this new path I’m learning a new me. One I might have never known could exist if my path wasn’t changed.
So, I’m getting to know me again and maybe change somethings I didn’t see before but do now, and maybe just maybe, become a better person, woman,wife and mother.
Not exactly sure who I am all the time now and I’m not even sure if I want this new journey but that’s not my choice now. If I’m going to be me I must figure me out again or st least the parts that stayed missing.
So, this is my adventure and I Thank all of you that have been with me on ALL the wacky, emotional rides. And express my love and respect for each of you. I hope you will continue along with me and maybe together we will meet me!
(cheeky rhyming moment... Now that’s new!)
Xx
Cristen Astbury
Cris, me’ dear... I know what it’s been like for me. I even had a business at one time before I became ill. We will find a new us because it’s our only option better than feeling lost. We are flexible and remember being at the height of empowered. That spirit isn’t lost so we’ll adjust our goals and we will succeed!
Love and Hugs,
Cathie
Thank you ladies, that’s what I’m working on. Sometimes it feels like.... Remember when people use to ask “what you want to be when you grow up“? And thru the stages of our life we changed from say a ballerina to doctor but as you grew into yourself and knew who you were you became say a writer. You grew into yourself by knowing yourself but you needed all those stages to do that.
That’s what it’s like sometimes. I have a foundation of who I use to be and I’m going thru stages now to find the new me.
Hopefully learning more and more of who I choose to be daily.
Does that make sence?
Hugs
Cris
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