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  • My kids are doing their own thing

    13 posts, 9 voices, 481 views, started Sep 6, 2008

    Posted on Saturday, September 6, 2008 by Kathy Palomo

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    • Amethyst
      Offline

      and hubby works nights and a lot of weekends. Which leaves me home alone. I find I am sleeping too much from boredom. What keeps you going?



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          Chatteras wrote Sep 11, 2008
        • I am starting online classes at Colorado Technical University. I have a new 30 yr mortgage & started building a new house...currently I am a bartender. It is not exactly a career with benefits. It’s time I did something to secure my future!



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          Wife2gregg wrote Sep 11, 2008
        • This is the year my kids have left home too...and I’ve enrolled in grad school.  I have NO TIME for anything but if I did, I think I would like to focus on the hobbies I’ve left by the wayside.  I’ve looked forward to this time to do the things I haven’t been able to do for so long and the first one on the agenda was school.  If you have any interest in volunteer work, there are numerous groups that could use your help.  You might find a whole new career by getting out there and volunteering?  Just a thought... :)



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          Kimri3 wrote Sep 11, 2008
        • I’ve been going through this too...I’ve started my own hair salon business part time, I was in an art class for a while, I paint sometimes still, I took dance for a while, would love to sing in a band again when I find one, but I keep my voice in shape by voice lessons on a cd at home (no kids at home to tease me anymore).I’ve even considered going to school...when I figure out what I want...lol. I also walk 3 days a week with a good friend..we vent and exercise. I keep in touch with my kids via skype and facebook. I read, keep up with my 2 dogs, travel with my husband...Then, if I have time..I clean the house. Enjoy yourself!



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          Randi Zevon wrote Sep 13, 2008
        • Thanks for the feed back ladies....I have to say that I feel like I dont know myself anyone. I dont even know what I like.  I thought it would be fun to make jewelry and spend a lot of money on it...and realized that I didnt like it....I love to make scrap books but I already made 2 for my neice and spent almost $800 doing it!!!  My kids would hate it...I have been dieting and starting to exercise....I dont really have any friends out in Long Island so it is hard to do things alone....and the more I write the more depressed I am starting to get.  I have been brainstorming and trying to come up with a small online business to start...hopefully I will think of something soon....

          I think it is great that some of you went back to school...I just couldnt do that....I was even able to help my kids with their homework....



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          Kym42 wrote Sep 16, 2008
        • My daughter went to college 14 months ago.  I could never have imagined the devastation and depression I would fall into.  A year later, I am a work-a-holic working upwards of 75 hours per week.  When I do have time off I am asleep or in front of the television because frankly after I do the laundry and dishes, I have no idea what it is I like to do.  I have moved from a 6 bedroom house to a one bedroom apt., traded my mini-van for a small car.  I still cook for 4 but my freezer is crammed.  Is anyone else trying to figure out who they are? I am single, but I am not sure that I want a man in my life again. Thanks for any and all comments.



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          Marcja Smith wrote Sep 18, 2008
        • My situation is a little different.  My daughter graduated from high school and decided to stay in upstate NY.  The majority of our family lives in Sacramento and a couple years ago I decided after she graduated to move out here. The job situation and low wages in upstate made it difficult to keep up.  I’m also a single mom.  She informed me last year that she wanted to come out in a couple years after I was settled here.  I wanted her to be independant so couldn’t discourage her to try to be independant. She has a great network of friends that have been family to her since she was born (many of my own friends that were like aunts to her) so I feel better than if she was away at college not knowing anyone or the area.  We talk a couple times a day even if it is only for a few minutes.  I think I’m  handling it alot better than I thought I would.  Of course, I haven’t had the first birthday away from her or holiday season.  I am proud of her and I guess I should be happy that she is doing so well.  

          I think the hardest thing is actually doing things for myself not wondering “if Kelsey will be home or what does she need to do this week.”  etc.    

          Good luck to all of us as our children move on to the next phase of their lives and we move in to ours.



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          Marcja Smith wrote Sep 18, 2008
        • Kathy003,
          I think that I have had to find time for myself again.  To keep from boredom I started to focus on things I’ve always wanted to do or wanted to get back in to.  I am focusing on my health and fitness, by joining Weight Watchers and Curves.  I began reading for enjoyment again and not just to help with school projects.  I also have started to do more scrapbooking and cardmaking.   I plan to check out the local Adult Education classes at the nearby high school.  Some are just for a couple of sessions and could be interesting.    

          Good luck and keeping busy helps with the transition.



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          Kym42 wrote Sep 19, 2008
        • I am trying to do something away from home with frineds at least once a month.  As of yet that has not come together just because at this point co-workers I get along with are a 22 year old sigle girl and a 39 year old married woman and they both have their own lives.  Both have suggested that the 3 of us start doing something together once a month because we get along so good at work and both would like to have more friends.  I was also thinking abt taking the H&R Block Tax prep class.  If nothing else I can learn to do my own taxes and maybe, not that I want to but there is the possibility it could be a job opportunity.  Not much in our small town to do unless I go out of town.



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          Pat Siminski wrote Sep 19, 2008
        • hello everyone,  I am new to this website and I can tell already that I am going to enjoy it.  I have 3 kids that have 6 years between each other.  I have been raising my kids since I was 19.  I am now 45 next month and I can’t wait until my 14 year old is off doing her thing.  I know that this may sound terrible but “I’m Tired.”  I had my kids young and now that I am middle age, I just want to be able to take care of me and my husband.  I love my kids more than life itself but there are days I say to myself, “what about me“?  I’m ready for a big change in my life.  I am hoping to make a move down south and start an entirely new career.  I’m looking forward to a new future with my kids a part of it but in a different way.



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          Marcja Smith wrote Sep 19, 2008
        • It doesn’t sound terrible at all.  I had alot of friends that thought I was crazy for moving so far away from my daughter, but I knew I had the chance of a lifetime to start over in California near my family. My daughter actually made me realize that if I stayed in upstate NY and some day she moved for whatever reason I would regret not taking this opprotunity. You can’t let people make you think you are being selfish—because after all you deserve your time too. I raised my daughter by myself and reflecting back on it I must have done a great job for her to be so independent at a young age.  I wasn’t perfect but then no parent is—but we got through the rough teen years alright.



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          Pflagmom wrote Sep 21, 2008
        • My best friend just left the nest. My daughter and I have the same strong relationship that my own mother and I enjoyed.  I would not be having such a hard time with it if it were not for the distance she moved. I did not have children to never see them or be around....I do not know how to resolve this within myself. I am happy for her and she likes it where she is. It’s hard. I am simply a family person. To act as though I am not would be living a lie...



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          Kym42 wrote Sep 21, 2008
        • I can so relate! I was devastated for most of the last year.  I became a workaholic and I don’t do well entertaining myself for more than a couple hours a day.  I used to constantly say someday I will have lots of time to do whatever I want then I will scrapbook and write my novel, et.. but now I find after about two hours I am going crazy and don’t know what to do.  I am getting better though.  When my daughter first left I called her 10 times a day.  My feelings were hurt when she said “enough mom” so eventually we have settled to once or twice a week and for just a few minutes.  Believe it or not when she comes home for the holidays I actually am ready for her to go home by the time she leaves.



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