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  • No Easy Way: Family first? At what cost?

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    14 posts, 8 voices, 1067 views, started Jul 9, 2011

    Posted on Saturday, July 9, 2011




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      Garnett
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      Have you ever had the chance to do something you love, but then felt guilty or maybe passed on it because you felt your family would suffer?  For example, going back to school, take a lower paying job that is less stressful/more rewarding, plan a solo trip or volunteered somewhere and it cut into family time or cut your income?

      It can be a gray area..when is it okay to do something just “you?”  I found six reasons this week alone to rethink that question closely.  Read what they were in my latest post: http://fabulously40.com/blog/id/six-for-sunday-no-easy-way-20845
      It’s not part of my regular journal, I’ll be back to that on Tuesday.  In the meantime, I could really use your insight on this.


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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Daphne wrote Jul 10, 2011
        • It is my experience that we (women, mothers) expect more of ourselves than others expect from us.  I have also learned that MY perception of something isn’t everyone else’s.  On too many occasions I have assumed that my family would feel one way when, in fact, they didn’t.  Open communication is key.  If you find yourself considering “passing” on something that means a lot to you because you are afraid it will negatively impact your family, include your family in making the decision.  Dr Phil says, “the best thing you can do for your children is to be good to their mother.”  While doing something YOU want to do may cause CHANGE (and i’ll give you that change is sometimes very difficult for some), change also creates growth.  It’s important to be able to adapt your life to the world around you.

          Doing something for yourself at the expense of your family is a very different thing than doing something for yourself that may cause your family to “suffer“.  Is it really suffering or is it change that may, in the end, benefit everyone?



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          Tuliplady wrote Jul 10, 2011
        • Daphne said it much better than I could.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Vikki Hall wrote Jul 10, 2011
        • Well said Linda!



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          Cathie Beck wrote Jul 10, 2011
        • Well, Tuesday... if your not going to heist cars to sell to a chop shop or take up gambling with the grocery money (to start with) how bad can it be you venture into a new You?  ;oD

          Cathie



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          Cathie Beck wrote Jul 10, 2011
        • Oh for Pete Sakes, it isn’t going to kill the family to be in charge of their own laundry or meals for once. Geech... makes me think of people with a cushy life with live in help who
          hit a money snag so they are all in flutter over having to figure out the coffee maker. LOL

          I don’t know why letting the family have responsilities of their own would be hard other than feeling like it was our role that made them love and appreciate us? But that says it’s something we did because that’s the extent of what we thought we were good for.  

          Cathie



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          Mzd3 wrote Jul 10, 2011
        • That is about how it is in my house. I dont do things I would like to do because then my son and hubby would have to fend for themselves, and in turn , they would be unhappy about that, and let me know about it constantly.



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          Cathie Beck wrote Jul 10, 2011
        • Oh! My bad... I did things I wanted to do despite the complaints. It didn’t hurt them any, it seemed good (to me) that they learned to be individuals too and that life is about what we want to live and how we live. Old hippie here. ;oD  

          Cathie



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          Cathie Beck wrote Jul 10, 2011
        • Maybe it seems tried and true and safe, but is it really? What courage does it teach our children? And what do we have left to live with? Just asking....

          Cathie



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          Mzd3 wrote Jul 10, 2011
        • Cathie, I would much prefer your way :)



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