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  • No seriously, when does it ever happen?

    23 posts, 16 voices, 1656 views, started Nov 30, 2008

    Posted on Sunday, November 30, 2008 by Unlockingdreams

    •  



    • Amethyst
      Offline

      Just dumped Saturday 11/29 by my boyfriend of 2 years. He was 10 yrs older than me, thought maybe he would appreciate the fact that a younger woman was interested in him. But he said he wasn’t hearing God tell him we had a future together. I certainly don’t want to be with a man that doesn’t want me and who am I to argue with God? . I keep telling myself the best is yet to come, but I sure feel like there is no hope. I have been divorced almost 10 yrs and have only dated about 5 men. A couple of months or a yr or two and all but one were christians, they went to church regularly taught Sunday school, sang in the choir, trustee, etc.
      I live 40 minutes away from everything, it is hard for me to get up enough enthusiasm to trek down the hill to find something to do. This morning when I saw it snowing and nasty out my window, I almost didn’t go to church and I love going to church. But that made me wonder, what is it going to take to make me want to get out and try again?
      At my age, it is hard to get a date.  Even harder to keep him for a while and even harder to get one to say I do. I never push myself on any man, relationships are hard enough without me trying to make it happen.  So seriuosly, when does it ever happen?



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Daphne wrote Nov 30, 2008
        • IMO, it’s a little too soon to be taking much stock in what you‘re thinking right now.  You‘re freshly wounded...your perspective is skewed.  Rejection is one of the most difficult things to deal with in life.  How can one help but feel less about themselves when one has been directly rejected by someone he/she cares about?

          Please allow yourself some time to sort through the emotions before making any major decisions and remember...sometimes we think something has been done TO us when, in fact, something has been done FOR us.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Unlockingdreams wrote Nov 30, 2008
        • Thank you ladies for all the kind expressions. Very uplifting estatic



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Linni wrote Nov 30, 2008
        • i too agree with the ladies here.. i too have been divorced 9 years, and gone from him 10, and have only dated once.. so i know how you are feeling..

          remember that God closes doors NO ONE can open, and opens doors NO ONE can shut! :) give yourself the time you need to grieve and heal my friend!  

          Gods timing is ALWAYS right on time!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Unlockingdreams wrote Dec 3, 2008
        • Thank you Angela for your support.  Every day I feel a little better. But when someone dumps you it really cuts into your self esteem.  I am interviewing for a pretty good job where I work, but every once in a while I feel so down on myself and think “why would they want me“, so just pray that God will step in and lift me up to higher grounds.  Thanks again
          Kathy



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Inakika wrote Dec 3, 2008
        • Kathy,
          Just think of it this way. Maybe God was trying to tell you that the guy you were seeing is not good enough for you, so he cut the ties with him to free you up for Mr. Right.
          He will come. And you will be ready. So, you weren’t dumped, you were set free!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Unlockingdreams wrote Dec 3, 2008
        • Inakika , I really like what you said.  I was set free...thank you estatic



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Inakika wrote Dec 3, 2008
        • My pleasure!! Trust me, he is out there looking for you as we speak. Just hold on, girl. Anything worth having is worth waiting for.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jenz ~ wrote Dec 3, 2008
        • Hugs to you.
          Don’t look. Live your life, do what your happy-go-lucky self would do & give yourself time to heal & find YOU again & what makes YOU happy. :) You will. Then, you won’t be settling for some guy telling you what he didn’t hear God say to him. Pfffft. Kick him in his *** for me if you ever run into the dude. HIS LOSS not yours! Trust me.
          You’ll do fabulous & then you’ll want to send the schmuck a thank you card for doing you the favor of leaving. ;)
          We‘re all here for ya 24/7 these days. lol
          Feel free to email if you ever want to chat.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Unlockingdreams wrote Dec 3, 2008
        • Thank you allso much, I am so glad I found this site or I would probably be sitting around feeling sorry for myself  This is the best group of women in the world. estatic



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jacque Foster wrote Dec 23, 2008
        • In the words of Beyonce...

          “Me myself and i
          That’s all i got in the end
          That’s what i found out
          And it ain’t no need to cry
          I took a vow that from now on
          I’m gonna be my own best friend”



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Patty Fisher wrote Dec 23, 2008
        • So sorry...that happened to me a while back, and yes your heart just hurts...I did want to tell you though that I met my new husband (just got remarried in August) online...and I really suggest online dating. People are afraid that there are wierdos...but you meet for coffee first etc...and it is just a great way to get out and meet people.
          Good luck to you...pamper yourself...be good to yourself...lean on your friends and family
          Patty



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jacque Foster wrote Dec 23, 2008
        • I am so thoroughly afraid to try online dating.  That’s how I met the husband I;m trying to get rid of now...estatic



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Unlockingdreams wrote Dec 23, 2008
        • I am scared to death of online dating.  I have met some weirdos.  I had a single friends group for a while and it really was growing, I got into a relationship (not from the group) and it ended up going by the wayside. Anyway, why is it that no one wants to introduce people these days?  They tell me “he’s not good enough for you” or “he’s not your type“.  How do they know what is good for me and my type?  Let me be the judge of that.  Of course lately I don’t seem to be such a good judge happy But you get my drift...



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jgirl1331 wrote Dec 24, 2008
        • I tried the online dating thing, it’s really quite depressing, at least in my experience.  I was honest about my age and realized that the men that are interested in me are either in their 60’s or in their 20’s.  Men in the 35 - 50 age group are looking for woman younger than them.  

          I agree with you Unlockingdreams, people don’t do the “fix up” thing anymore.  I wonder why?



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Ms-kay wrote Dec 24, 2008
        • Unlockingdreams....don’t fret. A breakup is hard on anybody.  

          This is the time to re-establish your identity. Often in a relationship, we tend to spend so much time exclusively with one another that we lose sight of our real selves. In an effort to please, and keep the other partner happy, you may do things that are really not 'you' and neglect taking time out for yourself.  

          Get in touch with your needs again. Very often, in an attempt to be together all the time, you might have spent most of your waking hours either on the phone with each other, or meeting, to the exclusion of everything and everyone else.  

          Appreciate this time which you now have to get some much desired 'me' time and make the most of it. You might surprise yourself by how much you enjoy it.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Bluerose wrote Dec 24, 2008
        • Don’t give up on the online dating thing.  I went on a LOT of dates with duds.  (Lunch only - keep it safe!)  However right now might not be a good time for you since you‘re freshly hurt.  But you’ll soon see he wasn’t worth it.  When you‘re ready, hit the online dating scene again.  Just be careful.  I met my guy that way & it’s been 6 great years.  It’s ok to be picky.  The wait is so worth it.



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