Posing nude

I did a photo shoot last month with a really cool photography concept. As a sideline, I pose nude for artists and photographers who specialize in the female form. Nothing pornographic or adult content. I only am interested in fine art that celebrates the female form.

Why you ask would I do such a thing? I did it for myself and for my personal growth. Rather than being all talk, I wanted to do something to show myself how I really felt inside. I feel sexy and more-so as time has gone on. I know I don't fit into any normal or conventional box, so while things can be challenging, it is also something in which I am proud. I have always wanted to model and tried the plus size modeling road over the years with no response. I wanted to push my level of awareness of body image and being comfortable with myself. To me, the fact that I would be able to enbrace my self naked in the light, and surrounded my a multitude of people, instead of one-on-one, was liberating and empowering.

I started out just modeling for the one artist and then it quickly grew. He taught at a very prestigious art school and asked if I would be interested in modeling for his class. It is one thing to get comfortable with yourself and one person, but very different to open yourself up to many. I was very nervous the night before and the morning of. But an interesting thing happened after a split second of vulnerability. As I was standing there naked, on a platform, surrounded by ten people of different ages and backgrounds, nobody cared. They saw me in a position of full nakedness, and did not look at me different or down on me. As a matter of fact, I was revered.

 The models used by the class varied in size, age and body type. And as I lay there still, the class discussed among themselves, and with me, their experiences with different models. They were frustrated by the young college girls,  with tight bodies and perky breasts but yet still uncomfortable with their bodies. Their rigidness and tenseness of the situation made them difficult to paint, and their perfect bodies too easily looked liked caricatures on canvas.

The artists worked, talked, and talked with me. No comments were made of my nudity, and they were appreciative of my time. They were thankful to me, and models are hard to come by. Having not the eyes of my husband or a lover who knows each wrinkle and line, and the stories behind them, but the stares of a stranger looking at me and not caring is a true accomplishment. I don't think many woman would push themselves to that extreme. But I do feel it is a great exercise to try to get there.

 I was told my essence did shine brightly and was invigorating to be around. And the fact that my body was in an art class, seen by artists, and painted by artists, truly helped me see the work of art that it is. Much like a finger print, no two bodies will ever show the same exact marks,  making each woman's map unique. From my stretch marks to saggy boobs, I’m proud of it all.

They are the map of my life and where I have been.