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  • Profile of the Other Man (OM) and The Other Woman (OW)

    7 posts, 4 voices, 4508 views, started Nov 21, 2008

    Posted on Friday, November 21, 2008 by Amy L. Harden


    • Garnett

      OM stands for “other man“, BUT in the Shepherdess Book of Latin Definitions, OM stands for “optimus minimus“... least optimal. OW stands for “other woman” or in the Latin it means “Overlus Willingus“...overly willing.

      Most OM’s are bottom feeders, users, losers, lacking in integrity, morals...any sort of conscious at all!! Most are serial affair guys...they just can’t keep it in their pants and they find married women even more of challenge than their single counterparts...married women are safe...they think. Also...they don’t have to worry about the woman being left alone or that the married woman will get too attached...they always send them packing....actually they really don’t care what happens afterward...they already have the notch on their bedpost! YOU know these went to high school and college with them...they never quite grew up...they are habitually trying to prove their put it in a very crude manner....they only think with their “little heads“.

      It is a known fact by Infidelity experts that the majority of OM’s or OW’s are always someone that you would least expect...they are NOT normally handsome or beautiful...they are normally lacking in the social graces, selfish, narcissistic, lacking in integrity, have no moral code or have lost touch with it...have addictions (alcohol, drugs...even abusive)...if they are physically handsome or beautiful...they have underlying problems that need to be attended to or are unresolved...they may be going through an MLC also. They are also normally someone that is in the workplace, a close friend/neighbor OR a stranger that all of sudden is working closely or sees her/him regularly.

      For the women it can be the guy you hired to paint your house, or the pool guy, FEDEX Guy...a roofer...a co-worker...the mailman or even, your teenage kid’s best friend.(This is referred to as “The Mrs. Robinson Syndrome)

      For the men it is the same case...but this time it is the woman that cuts his hair, the temp in the office, the dry cleaning lady....your kid's teacher or the Youth Group leader or Committee member at church. She may be pretty or maybe she isn't...what she someone who either approaches luring married men in as a game (single men bore her) OR she is looking for her Daddy....or she OR he is in MLC too.

      Most married OM’s are dissatisfied with their marriage/raltionship (M/R)...not that their M/R is bad...they are just dissatisfied or they just never truly committed to their W’s and children...we go back to the thinking with the “little head” theory. These men are NOT “Knights in Shining Armor“...they are really Peter Pan, he is one of the “Lost Boys” and he is taking Wendy off to "Never Never Land"! SHE doesn’t see the OM as this...because she is coming from a different story line....Sleeping Beauty...she thinks he has kissed her with compliments...but really he has shaken fairy dust on her so she can “fly ” away from what she has convinced herself is the problem...her husband! You see this fact IS important...the wife has been thinking of flying any opportune for Peter Pan to show up on the scene and provide this fantasy...with the ability to do just that...FLY! When they get to their destination...the fairy tale turns in to the kinky version of the story...the one's you see on late night TV...some how, some way...the wife gets her fairy tale, while the OM gets his version of it. They are really using each other for their own purposes.

      Married men in MLC who have affairs, on the other hand are coming from a different story involves a fantasy also...but this time it comes from the pages of Playboy or Penthouse....their mistress is always willing to oblige...cause she knows this fact and plays in to it, especially if the man has been telling her that his sex life is dull and boring. Also, the mistress's job is to keep "Daddy" happy...right?! Again, they are using each other for their own purposes. The MLC Woman naturally falls for this because she can relate to his problem and situation...she is going through the very same thing...this is what makes them “soul mates in MLC“...any other time, they wouldn’t even click together. They are both throwing off the same MLC syncs causes them to connect.

      Remember both the OM's and the OW's have seen your spouse coming. Your spouse has an invisible neon sign flashing across their forehead...they know the symptoms and the signs...they are masters at detecting it! All it takes is a few compliments, eye-to-eye contact...a simple touch on the arm...a listening ear...and then repeated gestures in this manner over a very short time. I say a short time...because your spouse is starving; they think...they could choose to have steak...but that burger combo in the drive thru sure looks good when you're starving....who cares if it isn't good for her/him...its fills you's a downright happy meal! No muss...NO fuss! They think!

      Now, I hope that I don't hear from people who have had affairs and end up marrying their OM/OW. The statistics show that these M/R's do not last AND the possibility of one or both of the wayward spouses going astray again is very, don't tell me about these relationships succeeding...the chances of this happening is very low. The reasons why are for another article...I will not go into here...but all the reasons above can pretty much explain it...just put a new person in one of the roles. Much has to happen to make these M/R’s work. If your M/R is a by-product of one of these affairs...then you are pretty darn lucky AND the two of you must have done all the work that needed to be done to make it work. Congratulations! Your M/R is very very rare!

      So there you have it!...IMHO and from what I know to be true from all my research and experience. Please don’t shoot the messenger!

      Join us at Women in MLC at:


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jenz ~ wrote Nov 22, 2008
        • Well put.  

          Did I write that? Wait I couldn't have I'd have added a few more strong opinions about people who do things like that..

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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 22, 2008
        • Excellent Article Amy,  

          Id like to add that men thinking that married women are safe need only to look at the recent case of Astronaut Lisa Nowak whom was married having an affair with another married astronaut, even with all her success, and brillance, she fell in love with a fellow married astronaut, whom later divorced and started dating another woman.  It drove her to the brink of a possible murder or kidnapping plot.

          [Link Removed]

          I cant stress enough that married persons are not safe to have affairs with and in fact its the most dangerous and emotional domestic situation cheaters step into.  

          I cant tell you how many times Im called to keep an eye on a astronauts wife or husband while they are floating around the planet in space.  

          Adultery should be taken so seriously..   Read this article on Lisa Nowak.. she lost everything, over adultery and so did the man she was having adultery with.

          It happens to the best of us, and emotions, are unpredictable.

          Ive been quoted often in the press as saying quote,

          “If your going to have an affair, get a divorce first“.  Bobbi Bacha

           I know that is a odd statement but think about it.. there is no safe affair it always leaves someone hurt, not to mention children, families and the community.

          Greeneyedlady, Your links have been removed, please consider upgrading to premium membership.

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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jenz ~ wrote Nov 22, 2008
        • I guess in some strange way, it feels relieving to have a ‘safe’ place to comment on this topic. It’s been some time since my ex brought an OW into my home when I was away~ that’s in the past now. The above article really nailed it.
          I had to laugh when I saw the part about the steak & the cheeseburger. lol.. I actually said that to him when I found out what was going on. “So, you prefer a cheeseburger over a steak then... Wow...” The article was strangely validating in a way, I suppose.
          And the part that described how the OW is usually not who we would think it might be. Touche. It sure wasn’t.
          I guess I've always been a little curious, sometimes very curious What the hell makes any OW think it is acceptable to wait until someone like myself leaves for work and then she slithers into MY home to carry on with 'my man?' WHO DOES THAT? The things this particular ow did were so beyond low class & disrespectful it was all very unbelievable. I cannot imagine what would have happened if I decided to come home early & would have walked in on that.
          So, if anyone has some insight on just how screwed up or needy the OW’s are, that would be good.
          It’s easy to see that they aren’t “right in the head” but some insight on that would be cool. I’ve moved on from the situation that happened to me in every other way but at times, I still have flare ups. Not sure if that makes sense..
          Maybe one of these days I’ll tell someone the whole should be made into a LMN flick. Nothing typical about it~ that’s for sure.
          Sorry for going on & on. I’m just venting over coffee. This is a loaded subject for me.
          So, any insight on more of what causes the ow’s to be the way they are would be great. Thanks! :)

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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cynthia Schmidt wrote Nov 22, 2008
        • Great article, Amy. And, these men looking for affairs also seek out very vulnerable and gullible women. My sister was nearly pulled into a very bad situation by a man at her church who was just a predator. Then a few years later it happened again with someone else. This time I told her I was going to drive up there and personally give him a piece of my mind.

          She started going to mass at a different time. She knew her sister was serious.

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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jenz ~ wrote Nov 22, 2008
        • predator~   good word.

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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Bobbi Bacha wrote Nov 22, 2008
        • I have a rule and if every woman would follow it we wont have this problem. Ive been quoted many times for saying.  

          “Dont do to any other woman, what you dont want done to yourself“.  Bobbi Bacha

          I follow that rule.  

          But sadly many women dont and married men have actually been a big target for predator women.. Its easier to catch a trained proven husband, thats in a boring marriage as marriages often get repetative than it is to catch a single man with many women to compete with.  

          Chocolatier, Predator is a perfect word for these women, and i lost my second husband to one.  He is still crying over falling for her to this day.. HA..Good for him.

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