Don't have an account? To participate in discussions consider signing up or signing in
facebook connect
Sign-up, its free! Close [x]

Benefits

  • okay Create lasting relationships with other like minded women.
  • okay Blogging, let your voice be heard!
  • okay Interact with other women through blogs,questions and groups.
  • okay Photo Album, upload your most recent vacation pictures.
  • okay Contests, Free weekly prize drawing.
  • okay Weekly Newsletter.

  • QUESTION: Are your teens/tweens ever disrespectful? How do you deal with this??

    15 posts, 11 voices, 4416 views, started Oct 2, 2008

    Posted on Thursday, October 2, 2008

    •  



    • inactive
      Diamond
      Offline

      Mine are still young, but I see it coming. Every once in a while I find myself saying “I’m not one of your friends, don’t speak to me like this...”

      Typically, what they are saying is barely crossing the line of being disrespectful, but I won’t tolerate it.

      What do you do to prevent disrespect and if it does occur, how do you handle it??



      •  


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Daphne wrote Oct 2, 2008
        • Any comment made in a disrespectful tone of voice is completely ignored...as well as any request(s) made in the course of the conversation.  If you engage in a battle, you lose...if you completely ignore the behavior and create a situation where nothing good comes from their speaking/behaving disrespectfully, it will subside.  In an effort to flex their independence, teens will occasionally cross the line...it’s inevitable.  But not responding will keep it at a minimum.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Ms-kay wrote Oct 2, 2008
        • Ahhhh taming back talk...i’m still going through it. I have two teens so I experience this every once and a while. Thank goodness it’s not like that constantly.

          It’s not so much what kids are saying that’s inappropriate, but how they‘re saying it. Speak to your children as you expect them to speak to you. And it’s not only your words. Watch your body language and tone of voice as well.

          There’s no reason to try to convince your child of your point of view. Explain your reasons once but don’t go on and on thinking your child will eventually understand.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Calimom wrote Oct 2, 2008
        • With 13 and 16 year old girls (and a 9 year old son - he is still sweet!), we have seen and heard so many things that make us think “were we ever that disrespectful to our parents???“.  I think not!!!  

          The 16 yr old TOLD us this week that she is going to homecoming and that she wants to have an “afterparty” here at our home (are we in Hollywood??).  When I suggest that she ask instead of tell, I get the eyeroll and “it means the same thing, Mom!”  

          Overall though, both of the girls are still make good choices...no drugs/drinking, no sex, good grades, active in sports and still loving SOME of the time ;)  

          From the time they begin walking and talking, children are striving toward independence.  The process can be rewarding at times (they learn to clear their own plate) or frustrating (they distance themselves from their parents with their attitude).  We try to stay connected and yet give them as many tools as possible to become as successfully independent as possible...sometimes that involves ignoring an eyeroll to discuss what teenagers do at “afterparties“!! {:)



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jldixon wrote Oct 16, 2008
        • I have two step sons who are 22 and 23 yrs old.  The youngest one was soooo disrespectful to me and his dad that I just wanted to pinch his head off.  As alot of you probably know though, as a step parent you must pick your battles and not stomp on anybodys toes, and at the same time, not cross that “step-parent” line of discipline.  But, I’m happy to say that I survived, and so did my marriage.  However, my daughter is now 11 years old.  And being that she has grown up in a household of “older” siblings and parents, has made her a bit more mature than a normal 11 year old.  So, I think I’m dealing with a teenager already!  She has this sarcastic attitude sometimes, that I can’t stand.  And now I want to pinch HER head off.  Now my husband is dealing with her attitude, and I feel for him.  I now know how he felt when he was in the middle of myself and his children.  Then again, I hope he now feels what I felt when I was the “evil” step parent.

          I don’t feel that my daughter is as much disrespectful as she is just trying to be grown like the rest of us.  We all joke around alot with eachother, and sometimes she don’t know when it’s not time to joke, but it’s time to be serious.  I also have the problem with trying to be her friend as opposed to her parent.  I’m trying to get over that.  I think I’ll start a blog, if there isn’t one about that already.  Look for it, I’ll be asking for suggestions.

          Have a great night everybody.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Mary Clark wrote Oct 16, 2008
        • All I have to say about this issue is....as someone else stated..pick your battles.  Some things are just not worth fighting about.  Second....when they roll their eyes...ask them if they have something in their eye since they are rolling them so....(I want to snatch them out of their eyesockets!) Third....when they are being disrespectful....just tell them in a very low tone voice that if they continue to be disrespectful toward you that the next time they want to go somewhere or  want you to buy them something...whatever...that is important  to them....that it won’t be happening.  But the key here...you gotta follow through with what you are saying the consequence will be.  So make sure your consequence are realistic.  

          Annie....I have said the same thing you have said...“I’m not one of your friends...so don’t talk to me like I am.”  Yep.....they can make you madder than a wet hen.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jldixon wrote Oct 16, 2008
        • lol, you go right ahead annie123.  It’s one of my old favorites too, picked it up from my mom when I was young.  Thanks for the comment.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Mary Clark wrote Oct 16, 2008
        • OH yea...I have wanted to pinch a many of heads off in my day....LOL...

          You’ve never heard of that Annie?    

          My mother use to like to pinch me....and it would make me so mad...LOL...(when she got mad at me...didn’t really hurt me...but she wanted to)



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jldixon wrote Oct 16, 2008
        • Hey MaryClark,  I was looking at your profile, and when it said you were on the border of SC and GA, I almost flipped out, because that’s where I grew up!  But a different border I see... lol  I was at Anderson, SC and Hartwell, GA.



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Linni wrote Oct 16, 2008
        • Hi Ladies..

           Boy, i am going through this with 2 children at the sametime! LOL i do not think my 21 year old  was ever this way.. well.. maybe a little.. lol my 10 year old daughter has grown up with older siblings, and cousins, and ohh my goodness! i get the eye roll, the head movement, all in one swoop! LOL my son is 14 and a freshman in high school, and WOW! lol
          What i have learned though, is what has been stated here already: FOLLOW THROUGH.. talk calmly...and choose your battles.. and PRAY!



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Mary Clark wrote Oct 16, 2008
        • jldixon...yeah...I’m on down toward the coast a bit..midway.  North Augusta, SC/ Augusta, GA.  

          yeah...I never think there is another border...don’t ask me what I do think there is....lol...small world...



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Denise Herich wrote Mar 17, 2009
        • My oldest son (15) is horribly disrespectful to my husband, and it encouraing my 11 year old son to be as well.  They are NEVER like that toward me.  Why?  Because like some of you, I will not tolerate it and made that clear from very early on.  I keep telling my husband to squash this—they need to respect him.  He is their real dad but they think he’s the biggest nerd that ever walked the face of the earth!

          I wish my husband would stand up for himself more.  I hate hearing it.

          The worst part is, we also have a 3 year old son and no doubt he is picking up on it all.  Sigh...



                Report  Reply


        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Jsrn66 wrote May 23, 2009
        • Hi,
          I have a 13 yr old daughter who is in the process of finding out who she is in relation to family, friends, school, socially etc. She is very emotional and takes things I say to her to heart, as do I. She can be so disrespectful to me whether we are at home or her friend is over. I could ring her neck. And she just doesnt get it. She doesnt learn from being punished for it and she’s not changing her ways. She’s a great, good loving, caring kid but emotionally, esp with her age, she is a whirlwind.
          Anybody want to chat about young teens?
          I’d love to !



                Report  Reply



  • Parents of Tweens and Teens View Group »

    Discuss Issues, Challenges, and Joys of Parenting Tweens and Teens