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  • QUESTION: Do you still have a say in what your tweens wear??

    16 posts, 10 voices, 424 views, started Sep 8, 2008

    Posted on Monday, September 8, 2008

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    • inactive
      Diamond
      Offline

      Every once in a while, one of my daughters puts on an outfit that has to go. Luckily, I can still influence their decisions (or just outright tell them to change their clothers). I wonder how long this will (or should) last. Any thoughts??



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Amy L. Harden wrote Sep 9, 2008
        • You better believe that we still have something to say about what they wear...in our home our daughters and son know that they represent the whole family when they are out in public.  Though we do give them or allow them to choose what they wear within the guidelines...while living under our roof they will wear the clothes that we approve of...please see the following:  

          Now, let me say this...my husband is a card carrying Preppy Handbook sort of guy...my kids have been trained under these guidelines since they were in the womb.  Some have tested or tried to cross the line on this hard and fast description of style or fashion.  As much of what is in the Handbook is classic...it is hard to argue with and is never met with too much fuss...and many of the brands that teens want to wear are carrying variations of this style...yet, these brands tend to break the bank...we do find one’s that fill-out their wardrobe and don’t cost as much.  

          By the time they hit 18 years old and are able to dress themselves by their own choosing...surprisingly enough they have all decided that Dad’s way is the best way...my 20 year old daughter owns her own Preppy Handbook now and her younger sisters are following suit...my son has been a different story since he is a skateboarder...but even this group of fashion icons have turned their fashion sense toward a more preppy look...thank goodness!  I thought my husband would fall through the floor when my son asked for a pair of those oversized, baggy jeans that don’t stay up on their hips...he didn’t get them!

          My hard and fast rules...no clevage...you have no breasts until you are married...minimize the bare skin...a nun’s  habit or priest collar is preferred...no droopy draws or showing of underwear or thongs...where did you put those Grandma undies or the Superman boxers I bought you?...no looking like you shopped by going thru the Salvation Army bin...Vintage is okay...bag lady is not...no looking like you slept in your clothes...I realize what you wear is a statement on your personality or your way of self-expression...but wrinkles scream Lazy.   If in doubt, consult your father’s Preppy Handbook, if you can find the questionable piece of apparrel within it(more than likely, you won’t) AND your father doesn’t have a problem with it...then more than likely I won’t.  These are my only requirements.

          So, I guess the answer to your question is...train them up in the way they should go and when they are older they will not depart from it...OR...while your under our roof you‘re not leaving this house in anything that we don’t approve of...so, march back up those stairs and put on that ski parka and snow suit we bought you from L. L. Bean..AND...I don’t care that we live in the south and it’s summer!

          happy



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Sandy Ochoa-West wrote Sep 9, 2008
        • If I’m buying the clothes, you can bet your buns I have a say. My son isn’t allowed to wear anything with a negative message or that would hurt anyones feelings.  So many parents let their kids wear completely innappropriate clothes and then complain about it. Well how are the getting the money or to the store to get them. My theory is that what happens under my roof with my kids is between me and God, what happens outside my house is between them and God!!! I think if you raise them to respect themselves and others, they won’t want to wear anything disrespectful



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cynthia Schmidt wrote Sep 9, 2008
        • My husband is the headmaster of a college prep school. The kids were really starting to push the envelope with their clothing, or lack thereof, and he had to give a choice, either a strict dress code or a uniform. The kids and the parents opted for the dress code. It’s fun to see them all put their own little twist on the approved dress while still staying within the lines of what’s appropriate. One day someone wore striped leggings, a ruffled skirt and a collared shirt. She looked really cute. At first they all complained but then they really got into the whole dress code.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Lorilyn wrote Sep 9, 2008
        • I’ve tried helping them choose outfits that are comfy, stylish and decent.some of their peers call it dorky.
          shorts must be at least finger tip length, skirts even longer,floor length is preferable, but knee length is ok. shirt sleeves must be at least two fingers wide and cover entire front,and back.no clown make up,high heels are clumsy and not good for posture. my son will see that busting a sag is not really so cool,except for the drafts.
          He’ll understand that there are certain tee shirts that are better than others,and others may disappear if found in the laundry. (yes,I have confiscated clothes)
          now,it’s dh I’m concerned about,as he’s aging and is insisting that old, ripped,stained clothes are fine. that and the plaid shorts(shiver)



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Amy L. Harden wrote Sep 9, 2008
        • OMG...I had totally forgotten about the rules on piercings, tatoos, high-heeled shoes and questionable language on t-shirts...

          My kids hate my response to this these...

          Piercings:  Girls can have their ears pierced.  Your father and I will pay for two extra holes to be placed on your ear lobes for YOU to take care of, otherwise God has given you enough of these to take care of in the first place...and we have been struggling with getting you to take care of these since you were born.  Boy’s...you don’t need two more, let alone one more...stop trying to make your life so difficult...enjoy the one’s you have....you already do!

          Tatoos:  God has already given you tatoos...they‘re called birthmarks and moles...(Teenage groan)...Okay, try this one!  If God wanted you to be a billboard then He would have put The Message on the outside of you instead of on the inside of you....(teenage groan)...Okay, let’s try this one...I didn’t carry you for nine months, apply gallons of Baby Magic and soak you in Mr. Bubble and then later become a stockholder in Bath & Body Works for you to decide at 16 to send me roses, declare your love for me or express your free spirit with a buterfly in a place that only God and I should see until your wedding day.

          Boys: Your not old enough to be a sailor yet.

          T-shirts- Girls - Hanes extra-large, no scoop necks, colors okay...stop showing me that Victoria Secret Catalog....if in doubt wear a turtleneck.

          Boys - Plain, white or colored, will consider Sponge Bob, but that stupid cartoon drive me nuts.  Refer to your father’s Preppy handbook on this one.

          High heeled shoes: Girls - If your nose starts bleeding...your heels are too high.

          Boys: Son, why are you trying to channel Gene Simmons?  Do I have something to worry about here?

          Comments from a mother of four teenagers and one tween...who has to keep her sense of humor or she would be sitting in the corner drooling.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Talkytina wrote Sep 12, 2008
        • Shepherdhess5,

          I love love love your comment.  Histerical!



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Talkytina wrote Sep 12, 2008
        • Heck yeah I have a say-so in his choice of clothing.  His dad and I are the one who buy his clothes so our influence will be heard.  His dad gives him more choice in the matter than me but I’m OK with how he chooses to wear his clothes as long as there’s no intentional meaning behind it.  He knows that certain styles of dressing is not appropriate in our family and will not be tolerated.  

          Great thing also is that his school has a dress code even though it’s a public Middle School and it works for us parents who asked for it.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Talkytina wrote Sep 12, 2008
        • I share the same sentiments Sassy.  I tell my son all the time, there are only two beings you should worry about, God and then his parents.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Robinesque wrote Sep 12, 2008
        • Let’s start with Miss Monica, all of 14 and trying my last nerve!  The rule of thumb when we go shopping is:  “If IIII don’t like it, IIII don’t buy it.”  My other little “advice” includes learning the “less is more” mantra, “mom doesn’t buy jeans that cut off your circulation,” (I get to do that personally!), “you can wear ANYTHING as long as a cami, a t-shirt or jacket covers what isn’t“, and my favorite, “If you find something that fits you perfectly, we can buy 3!”  I can only take her shopping alone, to really focus on possible outfits.  Shirts, jackets and accessories are high scorers when I do shop for her alone.  But she needs to be w/me for jeans and shoes.  That’s that.
          My “metro” gorgeous 17 y/o, Sal, is quite particular and more than likely, has 95% of Express’ inventory in HIS closet!  Good thing he works!  Omar,22, is content to give me his money and just tell me what he needs. (God, I love him!) He really doesn’t have the patience for shopping. My other 2 little ones have no complaints about what I buy, but like to put together their own looks.  Sharif, is married.  His wife takes care of him really well.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Lisa Jander wrote Sep 23, 2008
        • My rule is very simple (I have an 18 year old son and a 16 year old daughter) Here it is...we call it “fashion freedom” My kids have always been allowed to wear anything they want, anywhere they want including the way they wear their hair.
          Shocked? Here’s the catch, my promise to them is that if i don’t like what they are wearing, I will show up during their school lunch wearing the EXACT SAME THING! Funny? We’ve never had a problem cuz they know I’m not kidding!
          Lisa j



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Lorilyn wrote Sep 23, 2008
        • Too funny! wish l’d thought of that one years ago :p



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