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  • rejected due to my faith

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    23 posts, 14 voices, 1361 views, started Sep 18, 2010

    Posted on Saturday, September 18, 2010 by Cheekymonkey




    • heart This is a new one for me and one that bothers me alot. Briefly I was raised catholic and most of my adult life thought of myself as catholic. In fact some of those beliefs are rooted into me and make me who I am today. But I wasnt a practicing catholic. I have a strong belief in God and faith. And I do try to live my life doing good and helping our nieghbors. But for almost a year now Myself and my family have been attending and joined a methodist church. We are happy and my daughter loves youth and bible study. So, there is the briefing (ment it to be shorter sorry) now, here is where the rejection comes in.
      I have this friend from college,life time ago, and we have kept in touch over the years visited oce in awhile and she is very strong and active in her catholic faith. So, a few weeks ago....more like a month or two I guess she had a lay over in LAX 45 min from me so I met up with her we were having a wonderful time,laughing ,sharing the whole ball of wax so she decides to book a room and continue on the next evening.
      we were going to have a girls night. Somehow the topic of my family going to a mehodist church came up and after verifing I was no longer concidering my faith to be catholic she changed and said she needed to sleep and it would be better if I went home so she could catch an early flight. I was floored it was almost midnight or so and my hubby wasnt expecyong me until the next evening.
      So, when I asked what had happen she informed me she couldnt be friends with someone that abandon their religion like changing socks.
      I was and am still in complete shock over this. She wanted to know why I never told her. My thoughts are why
      Anyway she hasnt had any contact with me since that night.
      Im floored that all those years can be that easily be wipped away
      Im still the same person
      Hmmmmm

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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Lazylola wrote Sep 18, 2010
        • clearly she has issues imho



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        • +2 votes vote up vote up

          Nerissa wrote Sep 18, 2010
        • Do not judge her behavior though painful, she has shown u who she has become rather than who u thought she was. We all have choices in life. Some of us adapt and accept and remain true to who we are and what we do. Others are greatly impacted by the changes that life brings about as a result we change in some way, how we look, how we think. The lesson is hers, it will ocntinue to surface, the names, places, dates will change, the lesson will continually remain until she gets it. The lesson my dear friend is acceptance, acceptance of others as sisters and brothers. Trust that we humans do what humans do though I am sorry she disappointed u heartbreak



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Linni wrote Sep 18, 2010
        • i agree with Nerissa on this!



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          Mary Clark wrote Sep 18, 2010
        • Chris...I agree with Nerissa too.  It’s your choice.  It’s not like you told her that you no longer believed in God and even if you did...that would NEVER be a reason to say you couldn’t be friends with someone.  Clearly SHE is the one that issues.  I would continue to be the person I am...and let HER be the one with the PROBLEM...not YOU!  All I can say...HER LOSS.  

          This is how I feel about religions.  The bottom line for me is....I’m good with you as long as you believe in God, try to live your life as He would want you to, spread His gospel, and believe that heaven is attainable through Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ alone.  And if you don’t believe in any of those things or just a few...then I’m still going to be your friend but I’m going to pray for you more!  If your Catholic, Baptist, Methodist, Espiscopalian (sp?), those are basically rituals to worshiping. The final outcome should still be the same.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Brimstone1968 wrote Sep 18, 2010
        • My dear friend you are more true to yourself than she has been to herself.  I agree ACCEPTANCE is the key word here and if she could just wipe out years of friendship with some cold words in an instance it really makes me wonder.



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          Diane17 wrote Sep 18, 2010
        • I’m sorry to hear that about your friend.

          I too was raised Catholic and went to a Catholic school all my life but there are certain things about the Catholic faith that I don’t agree with and so a few years ago my family and I switched to a Methodist church and we really like it!!  My husband even goes to church with me sometimes which is really saying something because before he would only go on Easter and Christmas.

          I have two older brothers who are both still Catholic.  My one brother was fine with me going to a Methodist church but my other brother didn’t like that too much.  We still talk though.  I have a feeling if my mom was still alive, she would have been really upset to learn that I was going to a Methodist church.

          But in the end, we Christians all believe in God and what matters is our own personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  It is sad to see how some people are intolerant of other faiths/denominations.  Again I’m sorry this happened to you.



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Cynthia Schmidt wrote Sep 18, 2010
        • I was raised Catholic, attended a Catholic school and still consider myself to be Catholic. I am very surprised that she did this. I agree that this is really hers to deal with but she left you with the residue of her issues and that’s not fair to a long time friend. The Methodist faith is still a Bible based Christian religion. I can’t understand why she would shun you like that. I’m very sorry she was so narrow on this. I hope that at some point you two can talk about it and you are able to get some understanding.heartbreak



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Kyah wrote Sep 18, 2010
        • It’s her loss.  

          She should accept the changes you made, because friendship is deeper than religion and life changes. One of my oldest friends was raised Catholic. I was raised Baptist and went to Catholic school. We went to high school together. Whenever I’m asked I say ‘Christian’ and leave it at that. Recently she decided to become an atheist. Whatever floats her boat, she’s still my oldest and craziest friend, love her dearly, welcome in my house any time and that will never change.



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          Cheekymonkey wrote Sep 19, 2010
        • heart Thank you all. While I agree its on her for shes the one that has to live with her choices and her judgements, Im still surprised. I think what surprised and yes, hurt is that I live ( or try my very humanly best ) to live my life and teach my children to leave the judgements to the only source that has the wisdom to do so. God. Its not for us to judge our nieghbors. But I do sometimes fail at this as well

           I hope she finds herself for no one should use religion to believe your better than another. And it makes me sad with myself because I can forgive her act but never forget. I think what she showed about who she is now is a poison. So, am I really forgiving and am I being judgemental now? That makes me wonder? Any thoughts ladies. I really would like your thoughts on this.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Connie Wray wrote Sep 19, 2010
        • You are also in mourning! You lost your friend and don’t understand what happened. First of all there are a lot of comments on judging that I believe are good points. Second, the older priests preached HARD that if your friends were‘nt catholic they were going to hell. My first grade son (1970’s)came home in tears because his best friend of the same age told him his priest said that he was‘nt catholic so he was going to hell. This is the mentality of the“church” of old day. I pray it isn’t the same today.I am now methodist. They sure do like to eat don’t they? And great cooks too! HA HA,Connie



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          Connie Wray wrote Sep 19, 2010
        • I forgot to mention in my commet that I applied for a job at a christian based thrift shop. Get this! (It’s part of the application)Christian Qualifications for employment
          1. Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as expressed by personal testimony
          2. Confirmed regular fellowship and commitment to a body of believers outside of KARM
          3.Commitment to growth in relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and in christian maturity as evidenced in personal testimony,testimony of appropriet references,avocation commitment,etc.
          The above qualifications are required for all positions.There’s more about prayer and trust and where the disclaimer of not discrminating based on race etc, the words “religion” are not included!! So the bottom line is if you‘re jewish etc. do not apply!! What are your thoughts?



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        • +1 votes vote up vote up

          Kyah wrote Sep 19, 2010
        • Connie, that sounds like straight up discrimination to me. Not only do they only want Christian employees but born again types. A person’s belief or religion should not be a factor when applying for a job, unless the job is a pastor. As my grandmother used to say about a church crowd of people, “Not all those Amens are going to heaven.”

          There are many ways to God, and in my opinion all ways should be respected, not feared or frowned upon. “Love one another” is the greatest commandment and hard to do because many of us don’t love ourselves enough to love others.



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Cheekymonkey wrote Sep 20, 2010
        • estaticestatic @ kyra, first I love what you said about your grandma what a classy way to say what you feel without pointing fingers! And @ Bernadette68 I now know what the symbol is. And ill take you just the way u are even if I dont understand! Lol
          @Connie I know for a fact its againest fedeal law (unless your working at a certain church of faith) to ask ANY of those questions. I think they are counting on people not knowing the laws and will break them until caught. Hon Id keep looking for a job that doesnt envade your front door.



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          Mary Clark wrote Sep 20, 2010
        • Okay..on the job thing.  If it’s a Christian based type of job I can see they would want a “Christian” working for them.  I don’t think that is discrimination.  It’s just a requirement.  Some jobs require only a high education and some jobs require a bachelors.  So if you only have a high school education and the job you are applying for REQUIRES a bachelors...do you consider that discrimination??  I don’t. It’s a requirement to be able to do that job. This is no different.    

          If it’s not a religion based type of position or job, then they don’t need to ask you what you‘re religion is.
          And even so...I do believe that even some “Christian“...requirements can be a bit extreme such as the one you talked about Connie.  But...it is THEIR requirement. I don’t think they need to know all of that but again..it’ their requirement.  If I really do not care about them knowing all of that..then I just wouldn’t apply.  

          One time the former church I was a member of (typical southern Baptist) started a thing where if you taught sunday school you had to sign a contract that you would teach it, be there 70% of the time, attend the worship service 70% of time and tithe 10% consistently.  It infuriated me.  I kindly let them know that I didn’t need to sign a contract with the church to teach sunday school.  That was between me and the Lord and if I committed to teaching s.s. then I would be there.  They didn’t back down and neither did I...I didn’t teach.  And of course I left the church a few years after that. And now..I don’t even think they REQUIRE that.  They lost a lot of good teachers with this requirement.  

          Sorry...got off the subject..here...



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Connie Wray wrote Sep 20, 2010
        • What happens to people wearing burkas or scarves when they come into shop? I bet these “christians” will welcome their money! How two faced is that? Or worse,will they be shown “the door” because their religion is showing? Where does discrimination stop if left unchecked? When I told my sister she said she was‘nt shopping there again. I thank all who have weighed in. I want to report this to someone but first want to find out if this is legal or condoned. Any ideas of where to start?



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          Connie Wray wrote Sep 20, 2010
        • WOW! unbelievable!(about s.s. contract!)A friend of mine is looking for a church. There’s a baptist one on tv he has been checking out. He said what disturbs him is there are two costs for outings. A trip to an amusement park costs less for people that are members of the church vs non members. How messed up is that?  That means they are buying a block of tickets at discount because the‘re a church and making a profit on the so called non members! That’s probably illegal! Is this the future of churches in order to get capital into the church? There are all kinds of dicrimination out there ladies. How sad. C



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Diane17 wrote Sep 23, 2010
        • @ Connie.  Yep, Methodist women can sure cook!  I wish I could cook as well as they could.   I think that part won my hubby over too...he just loves those dinners! :)



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        • 0 votes vote up vote up

          Kmarie wrote Sep 23, 2010
        • My Mother was Catholic and my Father was methodist. I grew up in both faiths, I had friends in both faiths. When I was 18 elected to choose Catholic faith over the methodist faith. I lost so good friends. I learned that sometimes people bond with you because of shared interest or believes and when one changes or becomes different it is hard for them to accept. I also learned that some people want to fill there lives with people they precieve as having common interst and/or what they want to strive to do. When one does not fit in they tend to brush them aside too. It is not about you it is about them and where they are in life. What matters to them at the time. It does not make either one of you good, bad or indifferent it is just where they are at. while it always hurts to be rejected by someone we like, we can grow past the hurt and move forward from it.



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          Cheekymonkey wrote Sep 23, 2010
        • heartbreak First thank you kmarie and I do see most of your view but if I may, religion should never be a reason to like or dislike a person. Let me clarify... Sorry I want to get this correct so Ill use a simple but clear point. How many have walked up to someone and said “hi my name is.......and Im a ..........” probally not a one of us. Now hold that thought. Here is someone ive knowen a very long time we live miles apart. Now we communicate and our friendshp shares sorrow,laughter,advice,bdays ect....same ol friends never (ONCE is our religion brought up and why should it be? If you are a good caring person and my friend why do I care? Expecially if ive knowen you for years? Its what is wrong with religion we stop making it about good and our God to make it mine is better than yours! Please please let that stop here and now. i grew up such strick catholic(4 priest 3 nuns and 1 mother superior) and the thought of catholics or any religion being better is laughable. What the people due or say in the name of religion can make you feel one is better but the religion before we muddle it up was nobetter than the next.
          And why should I get past it?? Im still the same its like being judged for your skin,money statusor political views. Crap! Sorry , Im white, rich and by God have a heart for my fellow nieghbor...oh yea im republician (at the moment) and I do alot of good so yes ill forgive but not forget. Nor will I appolize for her wrong behavior but dont bring it to me about her being hurt and her not being comfortable. Shes a fraud and good or bad im real.



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