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  • Searching for Self

    2 posts, 2 voices, 516 views, started Sep 21, 2008

    Posted on Sunday, September 21, 2008 by Janetg


    • Amethyst

      This month, one year ago, my life took quite a dramatic turn. The job I had for 21 years suddenly was dissolved as was my husbands. Three years previous, my husband and I sold his business so he could take a job at this establishment. We faced quite a journey! Within the last 5 years we have experienced the empty nest as well. Already enough change don't you think?  

      Our jobs were not the only things lost but the many friendships that were tied to them. To make a very long story short, my husband chose to take a job oversees and I moved half across the world to take care of my mother who had just experienced a stroke. On top of all that, my youngest son was sent to Afghanistan to one of the most dangerous regions in that country!

      Who said life begins after 40? They weren't lying, but it wasn't exactly the life I expected! In the midst of all of this...after my children left home, my life suddenly became empty...I am a workaholic so it was easy for me to bury my feelings into my job. When the job was gone, I was totally lost! I realized that I did not have a clue who I was or what in the world I wanted for the rest of my life!

      I found out through much "aloneness" that there was someone inside of me that had been burried many years ago. Getting married at 17 years old and playing the roles of wife and mother for the last 29 years left me wondering.

      A friend of mine offered me a little cottage in Alabama to take a break after the shock of my job loss. That turned out to be the most amazing time in my life. I began to create writings and photo's that helped me in the process of healing through all of this mess. That friend also gave me a book that turned my world around. The book was by Joan Anderson and it was called "A Year by the Sea." It is about a woman who basically ran away from home for a year to find herself again as she entered her mid life years. It is so real for most women and this book has inspired so many to find themselves again.

      We as women feel guilty if we take any time to care for ourselves. We have been conditioned through time to care for others and put self last. At this point in life, we are finding that we can better care for others when we take care of ourselves.

      Through this year I have learned much but have a long way to go. The crazy thing is, I ended up with a job of my dreams...I actually am working for Joan Anderson! That is another story in itself!!!  

      I guess the point of this blog is to say that when you reach the point of mid life, you must take the time to get away in whatever way you can; whether it is for a weekend here and there, a month...a year...just get away and search for who you really are inside not allowing any one or any thing to influence you. It is the most wonderful journey I have ever taken and I finally feel as though I am true to myself and everyone else in the process!


  • Joan Anderson Books Group View Group »

    Support for women in mid-life searching for self